


Safest Place to Hide

by Hyogacamus1984



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 03:29:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 47,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1154258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyogacamus1984/pseuds/Hyogacamus1984
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my first Fanfic, I hope it's okay!<br/>Excuse the grammatical errors, English is not my first language! Feel free to contact me if you'd like to beta my work!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It might not be an important date for anybody, but to me - it changed my life.  
And five other boys’ lives.

It started off as a bad day.  
For me anyway.  
I had a bad argument with my line manager and I abruptly quitted my job.  
I wasn’t going to sit around and answer to someone who was sexist and didn’t think I was capable of my job.  
I didn’t bother about working my notice - I packed all my stuff and walked away from the office.  
The same evening I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with a woman who is 10 years older than I was, and of course he became an ex-boyfriend rather quickly.  
I went home and drank a bottle of Cointreau.

I have qualifications and I have experience, finding another job would not be a problem.

The next day I decided to go on a full day of retail therapy (whilst I was still half drunk) when I stumbled across a crowded street - it was my shortcut to another shop, but it was full of female.  
Females that were dress to the nines and looking pristine.  
Too pristine.  
I have nothing against it, but they were looking as if they were going to a cocktail bar rather than a job interview.  
And if someone swung a baseball bat to the back of their head, their whole made up face would have fallen out.  
What happened to “less is more”?  
I stood around and listened to some of the conversations, because I was curious.  
And nosy of course.  
They were recruiting for a big hot shot boyband, who recently lost their designated manager because of conflicts (I assumed it was between the band and the manager) and breach of contract.  
I remembered seeing a lot of that in the news, but I didn’t think much of it.  
I have enough problems on my own plate, I was stuck in a rut at my job and I was suspecting my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me (he did), I can’t take on anymore issues.  
I was just able to walk past the place when someone called my name.  
“Hyoga, is that you?” I turned around and saw an old professor from university.  
“Professor.” I smiled.  
“You really did quit, didn’t you?” I nodded.  
Professor Steven Philips was like a dad to me. I talked to him so much he knew exactly what I was doing and what I was going through.  
I also talked to him before my bottle of Cointreau the day before - because no matter how close you are to your professor, he is always the adult and always more responsible.  
I have always been a good student, and I want to keep it that way even though I might not be in education anymore.  
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Not applying for a job, I hope!”  
“Oh gosh no. I was meeting a friend for lunch.” He said and smiled, waving at a man who was walking towards us. “Simon.”  
I looked and my jaw dropped.  
Simon Cowell.  
“Simon, this is one of my best students. Hyoga Zawada. Smartest kid I ever met - and I have met a lot of them.”  
“Hi, nice to meet you.” I said, dropping my shopping on the floor and extended my hand to shake.  
“Hyoga Zawada. Japanese I presume?” I nodded. “What type of qualification do you have?” Simon asked, I could see the cogs in his head turning.  
I could hear people whispering behind me.  
I couldn’t hear what was said, but I could guess it was probably along the line of “bitch wearing ripped jeans and looks like a tramp”.  
“I...” Before I could start, Professor Philips was already on it.  
“She has a double Ph.D. in Forensic Science and Criminal Law, M.D. specialised in Forensic Pathology, a music master in music performance and she has been working in the Ministry of Defence for the last few years. Right now she’s taking a hiatus from serious work to seek other career opportunities.”  
“You are hired.” Simon said and gave me a card. “Come to my office tomorrow morning at nine and we can settle the paperwork. And you can meet the boys.”

WHAT THE FREAK JUST HAPPENED?!


	2. June

I ditched my rip jeans, Converse and hoodie.  
I wasn’t quite sure what the dress code was for a job that you didn’t interview for; it was hardly a job that I’d be wearing pantsuits and tailored dresses.  
So I decided on summer dress and a pair of nude heels.  
It was nice enough to be a work attire, but not over the top to be spending a day in the city with.  
I was fully prepared to be rejected.  
And then I was going to go shopping again.  
That was a perfect outfit to go shopping.  
I didn’t ask any question when I walked into Simon’s office.  
There was no point asking any question.   
Simon didn’t give anybody chance to ask any question.  
It was his way or the highway.   
Two words stuck out when he started talking.

One Direction.

Signing the papers took about an hour.  
Simon said it should have taken only 30 minutes.  
But as a Ph.D. in Criminal Law, I didn’t want to leave anything to chance.  
I didn’t want to sign something that would eventually bit me in the ass.  
Not that I knew much about Business and Entertainment law, but it was always good to put up a front and show them I wasn’t to be messed with.  
After I signed the paper, got told how much I was going to be paid (My jaw dropped again - I wasn’t that badly pay at my last job, but when I was told how much I was getting it, I nearly slap myself for a reality check and already planned for the gown I saw in Harrods the other day on my next month’s salary) and he got all the paperwork from me (mainly my HMRC paper, but since I only quitted my job the day before, they haven’t arrived through the post yet, so they had to work out emergency tax code and all that), he asked his assistant to take me to my office, where the boys were already waiting.

Simon’s assistant showed me to my office, but never actually walked me there. She just smiled and patted me on my shoulder, after whispering a quiet “good luck”.  
I did not expect to see what I walked into the moment the door opened.   
One of them was sketching on a pad; one of them was playing on his phone. Two of them were having a pillow fight (cushion from the couch) and the other one was sitting in the corner strumming on the guitar.  
Singing a reggae song.   
The rest of them chipped in every now and then.  
“You are our new manager!” I heard someone said, as a pillow flew towards me. I stepped aside and the pillow hit one of the floor length rough glass walls with a thud. “Good reflex!”  
“Thanks.” I said. “And yes I am your new manager.”   
“Are you old enough for this job love?” He asked. All the boys turned to me.   
I finally had a chance to look at them all.   
I have seen the faces; I have seen their CDs in HMV.  
They were all really good looking, with their own personality that we can see from their eyes.  
“I’d hope so.” I said. “It seems like you guys know who I am but unfortunately I don’t know who you guys are.”   
For a second, they all looked shocked, as if I have three head on my shoulder and speaking a foreign language.  
“I am Liam.” The one with the phone said. “The one that threw a cushion at you is Louis. The one that was having the pillow fight with him is Harry. Niall is the Irish one in the corner with a guitar and that one with the sketchpad in his hand is Zayn. And we are…”   
“ONE DIRECTION!” They shouted.  
“Nice to meet you all.” I said.  
Louis and Harry settled down on the couch and was all cuddled up. I raised an eyebrow just as Liam coughed. The two of them arranged themselves again and sat properly when the door to my office opened.  
“Uncle Si!” Zayn said. They all went and hugged him.   
“So I take it you have met your new manager.” He said. “Even though Hyoga is with Syco as your manager, you guys are still under Modest Management.” They all frowned. Simon didn’t think much of it. I made a mental note to investigate into that a bit further. “Hyoga is just here to make sure you guys are doing the right thing at the right time, and going to the right place at the right time.” He gave me a file that was about ten times the thickness of the last Harry Potter. “This is the file you’ll need to know the boys.”   
“Thanks.”   
“For now she only holds your schedule, so take it easy on her. Maybe later she’ll be starting to arrange your jobs. Whatever she does, she is on our side - she’s on your side.”  
“We will!” They all shouted. Simon smiled and walked out of the room.   
“So, are you old enough for this job?” Louis asked again. “I mean, you can’t be that much older than us.”  
“I’m a lot older than you think.” I said.  
“When were you born?” Liam asked.  
“1984.”  
“Wow you’re like... ten years older than I am. I didn’t think you’re that much older!” Harry said.  
“Thanks.” I deadpanned. “Simon obviously thinks a female influence is probably going to help you guys.”   
“Totally. Our last manager was a guy and he was about the same age as Simon. We did not get on.” Niall said, obviously didn’t sense my sarcasm.   
I put down the file and looked at them.  
“Guys, can I be open here?” They nodded. “I am working for Syco, not for Modest, you can tell me anything you want; and that’s why Simon sits me in this position. I am your confidant; I want to be one of you if you let me. I want to be your big sister that you can say anything to, so can we all be open with each other?” I asked.   
The boys looked at each other and most of all; I could see Louis and Harry looking intensely at each other, as if they were having their own conversation.  
“Sure.”   
“Anything I need to know then? That is not in the file Simon just gave me?”   
“Nope.” Liam said. The rest of the boys nodded.  
I sighed.  
I could already feel no matter how much experience and qualification I have, that was the most different job I would ever have to face.   
What I have already accomplished in life would have no effect on this job.   
The only way to work with them was to earn their trust.

Simon has given me until the next Monday to read through the files he gave me.   
It felt like doing homework.  
He also gave the boys a file a few days later; I just assumed it was about me.  
I had nothing to hide.  
I was more curious about what kind of information he found about me, and to what details.  
The boys was just about to go over to the States after the day I was in the office, and I would probably be flying in and out to meet them throughout the next few months to keep up with them whilst they were touring the States. 

I went to a Catholic Convent School, and I was proclaimed as the Queen of Boyband whilst in school, but ever since I left school and have a job, I never had the time I used to have to do all the boyband stuff.  
I still go to concerts when I heard the Backstreet Boys are playing, because they were always my favourite, I never kept up with what happened since after 2006 when I got my undergraduate degree.  
I called up my best friend with food and alcohol to go through the file.  
Nicky, my very straight best friend who grew up with me.  
We’ve known each other since forever.  
We went to different school of course; I was in a Convent, he was in the Abbey.  
But that didn’t stop up spending stupid amount of time together.  
We went to university together and lived together whilst we were both penniless doctors.  
We lived together when I quitted my hospital job and trained to be a Forensic Pathologist.  
We lived together until we could both afford our own place.  
We got our own place in the same building: 2 floors away from each other.   
We could both stand at the balcony and talk to each other.  
He was there when I broke up with my psychoexboyfriend.  
“One Direction Manager.” Nick said, stood at my stove cooking whilst I was nursing a glass of wine at my bar table. “So you were just given the job like that.” I nodded. “Lucky bitch.”   
“I didn’t even know who they are.” I said, took a massive mouthful of my wine.   
“Yes you do. X-factor. Remember that?” I nodded. Back when we were both struggling doctors working stupid shifts in hospitals, we used to record all sorts of reality TV. “They were the one that were put together back in 2010 - they came third.”  
“Who won that year?” I asked.  
“Don’t know. Don’t remember. I do remember them though.”  
“And what song has they sang...?”   
Nick cleared his throat.  
“‘Let’s go crazy crazy crazy till we see the sun, I know we only met but let’s pretend it’s love, and never never never stop for anyone, tonight let’s get some – and live while we’re young’?” Nick stopped. I shook my head. “‘Baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelm...’?” “Surely you heard that before.”  
“In Glee.” I said.   
“Oh my god you are a disgrace. You need to update your boyband knowledge.” He said. “Come on, dinner’s nearly ready.”   
I set the place on the kitchen bar table and poured more wine into our glasses.  
“I love how I am always the ones who cook at your house when we are here.” I smiled. “So the file.” Nick said, waving a piece of chicken around on his fork. “Have you actually read through them yet?” I shook my head. “Why not? Are you not curious?”   
“I am totally and completely curious.” I said. “It’s just I don’t want to read it and have a perception of them. The five of them are so tight I don’t want to be a situation where it’s me against them. I want us to work as a team together.”   
“Do you know something already?”   
“You’re like a gossiping old lady!”   
“I am your best friend. It’s my duty to gossip with you.” He smirked. “So?”  
“There was this moment when they were in the office...”   
I told him everything that happened in my office.   
When I finished, he was looking a bit pensive.   
He was the first person who pointed out my impeccable gaydar.  
“Do you think those two...” Nick asked. Before he managed to finish his question, I already interrupted him with a “Totally”.  
“How long?”   
“Probably from the start.” I said. “And I don’t think they are gay or anything; they are just Harry-sexual and Louis-sexual.”  
“It’s going to be difficult.” He finally said.   
“When it is not difficult? I always go for the hardest route.” I smiled. “Cheers!” and drank my whole full glass of wine. 

The next morning, I woke up and my mouth tasted like sand paper. Nick left a Post-It note in my kitchen saying I have no breakfast food and he’d be cooking brunch.  
I just have to turn up at his place.  
I wasn’t drunk (two bottles of wine when Nick wasn’t working the next day was a common occurrence), and I wasn’t hangover, but the last thing I want to do is to read through a 750 page folder of 5 boys.  
I took my iPad from my bedside table and opened YouTube.  
I searched for One Direction.   
When the search result came up, I decided that I really shouldn’t have done that.   
I would have been better off looking at the folder.  
There were so many videos: interviews, where the fans met them at shows and randomly on the street.  
The original X-factor auditions and the songs they sang in X-factor.  
Concert snippets.   
They looked so different, and it was only 2 years ago.  
They were made to grow up too fast, too soon.  
They reminded me of myself at their age.  
Growing up too soon, making decisions too early and not mature enough to actually make the decisions.  
There are the music videos that of course, shown all the good angles of them except for the bad dancing.  
I was so tempted to write down “new choreographer” on a post-it note and stick it on the file; but according to the other videos, they aren’t great at dancing and they are more likely to make a fool of themselves than anything else.  
And of course, the fan videos.

That was when I came across: Larry Stylinson.

I put down my iPad and went into the folder.  
Their basic information was done alphabetically.  
Niall was the first one.   
Then it was Zayn and Liam, and then it was Harry and Louis.   
Louis is the oldest, and Harry is the youngest.   
Zayn, Liam and Niall were all born in the same year.  
They all lived close to each other, but Harry and Louis lived together.   
I remembered seeing a video on YouTube that mentioned in an interview that Louis and Harry wanted to live together when they were all living together in the X-factor house.  
There was also a very important note in the file.

Eliminate Larry Stylinson.  
Eleanor Calder.  
Cougars.

I smirked when I saw it.  
But they have to appear straight in the press and in public.  
They can be as metrosexual as they wanted to, but they have to straight.  
Stay in the closet.  
Even though plenty of successful boyband members were already out of the closet.  
Even though plenty of successful male artists were already out of the closet.  
But the thing was: there was no closet.  
It didn’t matter if Harry was a girl or a boy. Louis was completely in love with him.  
And just as much vice versa.  
They were each other’s puzzle piece. 

The two words came across my head again: Larry Stylinson.

I really didn’t want to watch the fan videos, and yet - part of me are very curious about what ‘Larry Stylinson’ meant.  
So I googled it.  
It was obvious a mashed-up of Louis and Harry’s name.  
A lot of their fans seemed to be supportive of it.  
There were pages and pages in Tumblr dedicated to ‘Larry Stylinson’.  
Some fan stated Niall as the first fan of ‘Larry Stylinson’.  
Captain Niall - first captain of luxury cruise S.S. Stylinson.  
After reading through the whole file, I went back to all the interviews and concert clips that were on YouTube.  
I wanted to see the evidence myself, not from someone else’s perspective.   
In the beginning, they were bold.   
Louis brushing away a stray hair from Harry’s forehead.  
Louis bit Harry on his shoulder whilst they were doing the X-factor diary.   
Louis grabbing Harry’s face and plant a kiss on his cheek.  
Harry launching himself at Louis and giving him a love bite.  
When Louis draped his arm over Harry’s shoulder, and he reached up to hold his hand.   
As they spent more time in the public eyes, they were more subtle.  
But if you pay enough attention, it was still there.  
A brush of the fingertips.  
Louis dragging his hand across Harry’s back whilst he walked past him.  
Sharing clothes.

Liam.  
The cough.  
He was warning the boys. 

I went up to Nick’s flat and left the folder with him.  
He looked at me and nodded.


	3. July

One month into my job, the boys were still a bit cold towards me.  
Except for Niall.  
But there probably weren’t anybody on the fact of this earth that couldn’t get on with Niall.  
Niall was completely carefree and oblivious to everything round him, he probably wouldn’t notice if World War III was happening in front of his eyes.   
And then there was Louis.  
One minute he would be warm and then cold the next.  
Part of me wanted to think that Louis was the cunning type - keep your friends close, your enemy closer.  
But in reality, he wouldn’t think that far ahead.  
He was good at hiding his feelings, but he wasn’t as subtle as he thought.  
Still young.  
When I was his age (seven years between me and Louis), I didn’t think about consequence.  
I didn’t think that far ahead either.

When I got into the office the next day, the boys were back from Japan and just like last time, they were playing in my office.  
That was a month ago.  
Because I was so much more settled in, I had some toys and my office (and the boys thought it was funny to give me One Direction Merchandise for my room, like cushions with their faces on, a name plate for my room with their autograph on it, a One Direction calendar, and of course a bottle of their perfume on my desk) actually looked live-in rather than the normal clinical looking.  
This time they were just sitting on the sofa playing with their 3DS.  
They have probably seen me on Street Pass by the time I walked in. They all looked at each other and they shrugged.  
I have been keeping in touch with them most of the time via email and text messages, and a few phone calls here and there.  
I needed to get myself settled into my job, and they have promotions across the globe to go to.  
As Simon said, my job was to make sure they are doing the right thing at the right place and the right time. Looking after them away from England was Paul’s job.  
“Morning!” Louis said. Always so cheerful.  
“Long time no see!” Zayn said.  
“Morning guys.” I smiled as Niall handed me a Starbucks. “Hemlock?”  
They all looked at me.  
Seemed like my joke didn’t quite get to them.  
Then they all burst out laughing.  
“It’s just a mocha with cream.” Liam said.  
“Thanks.” I said. “How did you know...?”  
“It was in the file.” Harry said. “Just as much as you probably know what’s in our file.”

Yes.   
All that was in it.   
Favourite food, favourite drink.  
Their nicknames for each other.

For Simon finding out about me, he must have got some seriously connection.  
Information down to how I like my Starbucks.

“I like you.” Zayn said.   
“Thank you. That would be a good starting point since we are working together.” I joked.   
“We have some questions that we’d like to ask.” Liam said.   
“Ask away.” I said.  
“You are obviously not English.”   
“Nope.” I said. “I grew up in England.”   
“How do you actually pronounce your name?” Niall asked.   
They never really addressed me directly.  
Everybody kept calling me “Hi-yoga”.  
“Hee-yoga.” I said. “But I guess you can always call me Gaga. That’s what they used to call me in school.”   
“Gaga. I like it.” Zayn said.   
“We got you a present.” Louis said, and proudly pulled out a yukata from a paperbag.  
“Thanks guys.” I said. “That’s pretty.”   
“Where did you say you’re from again?” Liam asked.  
“I never said. Was it not in the file?”   
“We were more interested in other things…”  
I could tell what he was thinking - he was like an open book.   
I pulled out a photo that was taken just before I quit my job, at a Japanese fair in London.   
Wearing a yukata.  
“My mum is Japanese and my dad is Chinese. I mostly use my Japan name because it sounds better.” Louis looked defeated. “Sorry Louis. But on the bright side, my yukata is dark blue, and the pink one that you guys got me is really pretty. And I really like pink. Thanks again.”


	4. August

The boys were all busy recording their new album and doing promotional things all across UK, which meant I saw them a lot more and spent some time with them.  
After 2 months at the job.  
They trusted me a little bit more, because it seemed like all they needed was to spend some time with me, and a little bit of alcohol to open up.  
Also they loved food and I fed them.  
Endlessly.  
They also realised that even though I am about 10 years older than they are, I relate to them more that ‘proper adults’ like Simon.  
They knew they didn’t have to hold their tongue in front of me.  
I still haven’t met many of the crew yet, because I have been holed up in the Syco office. They boys weren’t in a lot of the time, but when they were, they always brought me coffee and snacks.  
Of course, they actually ended up eating most of my food.  
They even found out my secret stash of chocolate truffles in my cupboard.  
But I don’t mind, as long as it means that they would be warmer towards me.

I was at home catching up on brainless TV (aka drooling all over Matt Bomer in White Collar) when my mobile started ringing. I looked at the caller ID – it was Liam.  
Part of me wanted to ignore the call but I did tell the boys to call me when they needed me.  
It was also half past two in the morning.  
The boys usually texted me if they wanted something.  
The five of them have each other for support in times of need so talking to me was probably not their first option.  
I sighed, Liam’s face was just too pretty to ignore on my screen so I slid the answer button.  
“Liam, is everything okay?” I asked.  
“I think I have been drugged.” He said, sounding quite tipsy. “Harry and Louis went home earlier and I don’t know where Niall and Zayn are…”  
“Where are you?” I asked and put him on speakerphone, hastily throwing on clothes and pulling on my Converse and grabbed my keys. I pulled out a few bottles of water and threw it into my handbag.  
I had a plan forming in my head already.  
And it involved Nick, needles and urine sample.  
“I don’t know.” He said. “But I can set you up to find me…”  
There was some fumbling noise, and my phone beeped at me, signalling someone sharing their iPhone location for the next 24 hours. I accepted it immediately, and it showed that he was at a bar in at the edge of Central and East London.  
The Hound.  
One of the popular gay bars in East London.  
Also one of the bars with the most cases of drug rape.  
“Liam, listen to me. Can you get out of the bar?”  
“I know where the entrance is.” He said, I could hear him trying to stumble across the bar.  
“It’s going to take me about half an hour to get to you. Try and get outside for some fresh air, and I will be okay?” I said. “Hand on, I will be there – I promise. Stay on the line…”  
But it was dead already.  
I frantically dial Liam’s number again, but it went straight to voicemail.  
I got into my car and called the number again.  
Still voicemail.  
“Come on Liam… Siri, please call Liam’s mobile.” I said, asking Siri to dial his number over and over again but it still went to his voicemail. “Siri, please call Niall’s mobile.”  
“Calling Niall mobile.”  
The phone just rang and rang, and eventually went on voicemail too.  
“Shit.” I said. “Siri, please call Zayn’s mobile.”  
It was exactly the same as Liam.  
“Siri, please call Louis’ mobile.”  
The phone rang twice, and it was picked up.  
“Good evening love! To what do I owe this pleasure to?” He asked, obviously still merry from the alcohol in his system. I could hear Harry giggling in the background.  
Thank god.  
“I got a call from Liam saying he thinks he might have been drugged.”  
I could feel he was suddenly awake.  
“Fuck.” He said. “I’m not in the right state to be driving…”  
“I am already on my way. He’s sent me his location. My problem right now is Niall and Zayn, Liam said they were together, but I can’t get hold of either of them.”  
“Hold on, let me just get Harry’s phone and I’ll send their location to you.” He said as he fumbled. “Damn it Hazza, when did you change your bloody password?!” I heard Harry saying something in the background. “Oh hold on my bad - I just typed in the wrong thing. I am sending you the screenshot now, if they started moving I’ll let you know again. Liam’s not on it. Looks like Niall and Zayn are together.”  
“Thanks.” I said.  
I was driving like a manic whilst Siri kept telling me where I needed to go.  
A 30 minute drive took me 20.  
I parked the car at the rear carpark at the Hound and pulled my phone off the dock from the car.  
Louis has texted and said neither Niall nor Zayn has moved, and that all three of their dots were at the same location. I dialled a familiar number.  
“Nicky.” I said when the other side picked up. “Are you working graveyard tonight?”

I went through the pub, and I saw Niall and Zayn sitting in the corner. I rushed over and nudged them. Zayn woke up first, and as he tried to focus but it didn’t seem to work. He shook he head, and maybe he could see my silhouette. Niall took a little longer to wake up, and when he did, he looked disorientated.  
The scientist in me guessed what might have been in their drinks.  
“Gaga, what are you doing here?” He asked.  
“Are you both okay to stand up?” I asked, ignoring his question. They both stood up. Zayn swayed a little, but Niall looked steady on his feet. He wrapped his arm round Zayn’s shoulder and I took the other side. “Come on guys, let’s get you out.” I said and pulled them towards the back of the carpark.  
“Liam…” Zayn has said, I shook my head.  
“My car.” I said, ignoring the buzzing in my pocket. Whoever was on the other side would have to wait. I need to get these two boys safely back in my car. “I’ll go find Liam when you guys are settled.” Zayn stumbled a bit, but Niall managed to support himself and Zayn. When they were in the car, I opened a bottle of water for each of them. “Drink up. I’m going back in to get Liam.”  
I opened a little bit of the window and shut the passenger door.  
I locked the car for good measure.  
I didn’t go back into the pub, but I went round it instead. I have asked Liam to head outside for fresh air, and god bless his sensible side, he listened and I found him sitting on one on the benches in the beer garden, away from the light.  
Even though it was August, the air has cooled down drastically compare to daytime, and there weren’t many people sitting outside.  
I could still see his hair glisten from the sun hanging low in the sky.  
I ran towards him and gave him a gentle shake.  
“Liam? Honey?” I whispered. He opened his eyes and looked at me.  
“Gaga.” He mumbled and smiled before wrapping his arms round my waist. “You’re here. I’m so glad you’re here.”  
“Come on.” I said, pulling him up.  
“Niall and Zayn?”  
“In my car.” I said and he stood up, but he weren’t very steady on his feet. I pulled his arm round my shoulder, and I wrapped mine round his waist. “Just a few yards and you’ll be fine.”  
I managed to support Liam back to my car, and shoved him into the passenger seats with Niall and Zayn. Then I put a bottle of water into his hand too. I took my phone out and found six missed call from Louis.  
“Drink up you three.” I said and pulled out of the carpark.  
The three of them dozed on and off whilst I was driving to Guy’s hospital. I asked Siri to dial Louis’ number.  
“Are they okay?” He asked as he picked up the phone. “You’re on speakerphone. Harry’s with me.”  
“You’re on speakerphone too. I’ve got them.” I said. “I am taking them to hospital now. My friend works the graveyard shift in the A&E tonight.”  
“We can get a cab…”  
I could hear them looking for wallet and keys and trying to put their shoes on, still tipsy.  
“Louis, listen to me. And Harry too. I know you all care and love each other very much. But this has to be kept under wrap.” I said. “Guy’s Hospital is too far for you guys to get to in the middle of the night. All five of you in a hospital are going to be hard to contain from the press. There’s only so much I can canned when it comes it hospital in the middle of the night. Modest has banned you all from going out to bars and clubs until the new album is finished. I can’t let them find out none of you listened. I personally think that you guys shouldn’t have listened and so proud of you all for doing what you did… but let’s just keep that between us.” I could hear the two of them chuckled. “So last night you all came over to mine and emptied my whole alcohol selection. You two need to be ready to nurse the horrific hangover that will no doubt be hitting your head tomorrow. I’ll make sure the guys are going to be okay. I promise.”  
There was silence on the line.  
“Please boys. I know you might not like me, but I need to protect you - I promised right when I first started, remember?”  
More silence.  
“Okay.” Louis said.  
“Have lots of water and some painkillers okay? Then go to bed.” I said. “I’ll text you both about the boys, and I’ll see you tomorrow at the studio.”  
“Thank you.” Louis said.

It was nearly 4 in the morning, it was already bright but it was the quietest time at A&E.  
After I parked the car, the boys were slightly more awake, but still looked a bit dazed. All the bottles were empty and I let out a sigh that I didn’t realise I was holding. Zayn managed to get himself out of the car, but Liam didn’t seem to know where his legs were and stumbled into him. Niall thought they were wrestling, chuckled and wanting to jump into the going-to-be human pile on top of me if it wasn’t for the tall shadow that ran towards me just in time to hold up Niall.  
“Three hot guys that are nearly 10 years younger than you are? When did you become a cougar?” He said with a fond smile on his face. “You’ve outdone yourself.”  
“Thank you.” I said as he planted a kiss on my cheek.  
“Come on boys. Let’s get you inside.” He said. I supported Liam who was the most stable of them all, and Nick took Zayn on one side and Niall on the other.  
The drugs must have increased their body temperature. I could feel Liam’s body heat over his shirt and my hoodie.  
We went into his research office and he sat them all down on the sofa.  
“I’ve feed them all a whole bottle of water.” I said. “Hopefully that’ll be enough liquid in the bladder.”  
“Gonna need your help if we want to keep it wrapped.” He said. “Do you still remember how to do it?”  
“Enough to do it.” I said.  
“I thought you’re gonna say, ‘I prefer them dead’.” He smiled. “Right, I’ll take them to the bathroom and get a urine sample, you prep my table.” He said and he led the boys into the adjacent bathroom.  
I took out the disinfectant spray and wiped the portable table surface, took the vacutainers out of the cupboard and put it in the stand. I set up two cushions on the table and the cannulas. I pulled out my phone and texted Louis.

_Got the boys in A &E. Will keep them over at mine tonight. See you tomorrow. Sleep well and drink lots of water. x_

They boys came back and sat down on the sofa when my phone buzzed.

_Thank you. See you tomorrow. Tell them we love them. x_

We.  
It’s always ‘we’ and ‘us’ when it comes to Louis and Harry.  
I took the spare lab coat from the back of his door and put it on.  
I miss it.  
Admittedly it was too long on me and I had to roll up the sleeves.  
But it felt like home.  
“Alright, I’ll take Niall.” I said as I dragged the table over to the sofa. “He’s the fairest, and I can probably see his veins best.”  
“Fine.”  
It took Nick half the time to take the blood. He looked at me and I pouted.  
“Practice makes perfect.” He smiled. He labelled them with some random information, same as the ones on the urine samples. “I’ll send you the reports tomorrow.”  
“Don’t know what to do without you.” I said, hugged him and buried my face in his chest whilst he planted a kiss on my forehead.  
Freaking height difference.  
“You’ll never know what it’d be like without me.” He said and gently pinched my cheek. I pouted again. “Alright, go home, I know you have a lot on. Just keep them hydrated. They’ll have a killer headache tomorrow and probably don’t remember much about tonight, but that’s pretty much it.”  
“Until it comes back in bits and bobs.”  
“Until it comes back.” He smiled.  
“Ibuprofen okay?”  
“Let’s go with the Paracetamol. Jesus, you want to keep their livers alive, they’re still young, unlike us!”  
“I still think Ibuprofen is perfectly fine.”  
Nick always knows what to say to keep me sane.  
“Thanks again.”  
“I’ll help you take them back into your car.”  
“I’ll need help dragging them into my loft.” I smiled.  
“They’ll be okay by the time you get home.” He said and already wrapped Liam and Niall up. “Come on lads, you guys are so lucky to have her around.” I wrapped my arm Zayn and headed back toward the carpark. He helped me move them into my passenger seats. “Make sure they all have a nice cold shower when they get to yours.” I nodded and he kissed me on my forehead. “Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.” I said and drove off.

The drive back to mine was quiet, Nick has given them another bottle of water each and told them they needed to finish them by the time they head back to mine.  
And just as Nick has said, they were more alert when they got back to mine. They managed to get out of the car and walked into the building okay.  
When we got into the lift, they all slumped onto the glass walls.  
“This feels good.” Liam said as he rubbed his forehead over the glass wall.  
The door opened and they followed me to my loft. They headed straight for the sofa, and I went into the kitchen to pull out some ice pack. As if on cue, they all rubbed their faces all over them.  
I sent Liam (the steadiest on his feet) to the bathroom to have a shower. Niall and Zayn dozed on the sofa.  
“Sorry guys, I only have 1 guest room and 1 sofa bed. You’re gonna have to share.” I said. “Admittedly the bed in my guest room is king sized.”  
“We’ll just all crash in the guest room.” Zayn said. “We’ll be fine together.”

They were all disorientated when they got up the next morning.  
There was a lot of “Where are we” and “What the fuck happened” from the room.  
“Guys, breakfast is ready!” I shouted from the kitchen.  
I have a full English waiting for them, and they all shuffled into the kitchen in t-shirts and boxers.  
They sat down at the kitchen bar, mumbled they ‘thanks’ and quietly ate the breakfast, and also drink their juice.  
So not what I have been used to with them.  
It was too quiet.  
“Louis and Harry were very worried last night and told me to tell you guys ‘they love you’.” I broke the silence. They look at me. “Have a shower after breakfast, I’ll drive you guys to the studio.”  
Paul has dropped off some spare clothes for them so they wouldn’t be caught wearing the same thing. I told him the boys were with me last night, and Louis and Harry both took a cab home.  
They got dressed and got back into my car with minimal sound coming from their mouth. Just before I started the car, I handed them some water and painkillers.  
“These are the good stuff.” I said. “Nicky said maybe they are a bit too heavy but I think they are probably better than just paracetamol. I have even got a prescription ready for you guys if you need it.”  
“Prescription?” Liam asked. “Who are you?”  
“I thought you all know - Simon didn’t leave you details of my educations in the file?”  
“We were more into reading all the other things rather than your education...” Liam said quietly, a faint blush on his face indicated they were more into my personal life than what I can actually do.  
“I was a doctor.” I said. “Until I decided to do Forensic Pathology. I am still allowed to write private prescriptions. And by the sound of your symptoms last night, you’ll need the pain killers.”  
They took the pills without complaining. The journey was quiet after that.  
“Thank you.” Niall suddenly said as we got close to the studio. “For taking care of us.”  
“It’s my job.” I smiled.  
“But it’s not part of your job to cover our stupidity.” Liam added.  
“We were told not to go out, but we still did it anyway…” Zayn said.  
“I was your age once. In fact, I was your age not more than 10 years ago. I know what it’s like to have rules that sound stupid. I am glad Liam called me. Like I said before, don’t push me away, I am on your side and always trying to help you if you want me to. I’m your safest place to hide.” I said and parked the car. “Come on, back to work.”

When Louis and Harry caught sight of them, they all fell into a massive group hug.  
I smiled.  
Part of me wanted to join in, but maybe that wasn’t a good time yet – they only just started to trust me (at least three of them did) and invading their personal space was probably not a good idea.  
So I stood in the corner, slightly awkward.  
It made me felt like I was the unpopular kid in school again.  
Then my phone rang. It was Simon.  
I walked out of the studio and into the common area.  
“Paul told me.” He said the moment I picked up. “The boys are reckless.”  
“They didn’t do anything.” I defended. “They all come to mine, Harry and Louis left early but the three of them kept drinking. They drank my cupboard dry, got massively drunk and I didn’t think they’d make it home so I put them to my guest room. I asked Paul to bring them spare clothes this morning.”  
“They didn’t listen and follow the rules.”  
“Modest told them not to go out, didn’t say they weren’t allow to drink.”  
“If that’s the story you are going with.”  
“It’s the truth.” I said. “I am refuelling my cupboard on company expenses.”  
“As long as they are at the studio, then that’s fine. You’re good at your job and I hate it if you lose it.” He said and hung up.  
Me too.  
I let out a massive sigh.  
When I got back into the room, the boys were all getting ready to start recording. There were plenty of Redbull and plenty of tea going round. I called and ordered pizza and some chicken bits ready for them when they are done.  
Then I left.

I went back home and clean out the lingering smell and signs of having 3 boys in my flat.  
Dirty laundry.  
I shoved them all into the washing machine and hope for the best.  
Good thing Harry weren’t one of them last night, the boy wears designer clothes and they probably needed to be dry cleaned.  
I was about to sit down and have a nice relaxing afternoon with a glass of wine when my phone started beeping at me.  
It was multiple requests for “find my friend”.  
No time frame.  
They didn’t even request me to share my location.  
I left it as pending.  
Nick emailed me with their results. I gasped. Within minutes of the email he called me.  
“That really doesn’t look good.” I said.  
“Rohypnol and Valium.” He said.  
“All of them.”  
“All three of them. They were lucky because it wasn’t a high dose of Rohypnol. They were also lucky Liam was awake enough to call you. They were definitely lucky to have you around.”  
“It’s my job.”  
“You didn’t wake up in the middle of the night and drive around London in your last job. And you were working in MoD.” He said.  
“Working hour was listed in my contract previously. This contract doesn’t have working hour.”  
“Are you actually working right now?”  
“If you count scanning the Internet for nothing as work.”  
“Are you breaking out a bottle of white yet?”  
“Not yet - but I am tempted.”  
“Dinner at mine?”  
“Maybe.”  
“I’m leaving in about 4 hours.”  
“I’ll bring the wine.”  
“Working tomorrow. Shloer?”  
“Elder flower.”  
“Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.”

That night when Nick left my house after dinner, I added all five of them onto my ‘find my friend’ list, and shared my location as well.


	5. September

Getting on a private jet (courtesy of Syco Entertainment) was very strange. I never thought I’d have that opportunity.  
It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be, though there were just a handful of us.  
Louis and Harry settled at the back of the plane in the double seat, Liam across from them.  
He has been looking a bit weary for the last few days, and I have been wanting to talk to him but I didn’t want to alert the rest of the boys.  
I didn’t say anything - if he wanted to talk, he would have by now.  
Zayn and Niall were sitting on the other side on the single seat.  
I settled on another single seat, and Paul sat opposite me.  
“I never thanked you.” He said. “Thank you.” I looked at him and he winked. “For taking care of the boys.”

Orlando, Florida.  
I lived here for a few years as a teenager.  
I didn’t tell the guys, because I am sure it was in the file that Simon gave them.  
When the tour bus dropped the boys off to their hotel for them to rest for the night, I was about to turn around and grabbed a cab to go home when Liam grabbed my arm whilst they were waiting for the lift.  
I tried to shake him off, but it wasn’t possible.  
Bloody growing boys with stupidly non-human strength.  
“You aren’t staying here?” I shook my head. “Where are you heading?”  
Should have watched them get into the lift before going.  
“Home.” I said.  
They all looked at me.  
“But you live in London...” Niall said.  
“I lived here as a teenager. I lived in many different countries as a child because of my dad’s job. After my parents retired they decided to settle with the rest of the family back in Japan. Was it not in the file?”  
They looked at me, and I looked at them. Zayn and Niall grabbed me and pulled me into the lift that Harry was holding open the moment it arrived.  
Before Paul could ask them what they were doing, Harry had already pressed the door shut button and god blessed five stars hotels - the door shut too quickly for Paul to get in.  
“More minor details that we overlooked.” Liam said.  
“How many rooms do you have?” Zayn asked as the lift ascended to their double penthouse.  
“Six, why?” I asked.  
Really, I shouldn’t have asked. I knew exactly where that question was going.  
The boys all looked at each other and had their psychic conversation, and Harry grabbed hold of me.  
Louis picked up both of their bags and all four of them run into the penthouse.  
Few minutes later, I was passed to Liam.  
Harry ran off.  
Liam didn’t seem to be interested on whatever the boys were doing, but he knew they work well as a team, so he just carried on what the plan was.  
“You alright?” I asked. He shrugged. “I’m always here to talk if you need to talk to someone - I know sometimes the boys can be overwhelming, and I know you do prefer peace and quiet every now and then.”  
He looked at me as if I was an alien.  
Again.  
To be fair, I am quite used to them looking at me funny when I say something.  
As if they couldn’t believe their own ears.  
Niall rushed out of the room and got me, and held me as if he was a freaking octopus.  
Then Zayn.  
Then Louis.  
Then Liam again.  
And the cycle starts all over again.  
Within the space of 30 minutes, they have showered, changed, packed and ready to go.  
“To Gaga’s!” Louis announced.  
Liam picked me up over his shoulders, and carried me over to the lift.  
They all had a backpack.  
I dreaded to think what is actually in their bags.

The reception ordered us a cab and I gave the driver my address.  
The boys were getting very excited.  
I shot Paul a text.

_It looks like the boys are staying with me tonight. Enjoy the suites. I’ll keep them entertained. x_

When the cab turned into a close community, Niall whistled.  
“You used to live HERE?”  
“Yeah well, my dad used to work for the UN. Our safety is their first priority.”  
“Who are you?” Louis asked.  
“Your manager.” I smiled.  
When I opened the door, the boys rushed in.  
“Woah!” Zayn said. “It’s like a palace!”  
“It’s massive.” Liam said.  
“No, it’s just American.” I smirked. “I would say ‘make yourself at home’ but you look like you already did.”  
I know one of the things that the boys missed the most when they were on the road was being at home.  
Living in a hotel room out of a suitcase can be depressing.  
I have to move every few years when I was little, and that was bad enough, I couldn’t decipher what it would be like to live the way they were living.  
I walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on before calling out for them.  
They shuffled into the kitchen as I pulled 6 mugs out of the cupboard and also pulled out a box of Yorkshire teabags.  
“Oh my God Gaga. I so love you right now.” Louis said. Harry frowned as Niall patted him on the shoulder.  
“How do you...?” Niall asked.  
“You don’t even drink tea!” Liam said at the same time.  
“I keep this place stocked up. I have a habit of running to Florida when I get upset at my last job.” I said and handed them all a mug each. “I know it is hot outside, but we all know a cup of tea always solve the problem.”  
“But you’re not a tea drinker.” Zayn said. “That’s what the file said.”  
“It’s the little things in life that make one special.” I smiled.

I gave them a quick tour of the house, and the moment they landed in the games room (which used to be my parent’s room - the master bedroom), there was no going back. The X-box was enough to keep them entertained for the rest of the day.  
“I thought you said you have six rooms.” Liam asked, with the X-box controller in his hand.  
“I do. Four bedrooms, a music room and a games room.” I said, sitting in the corner and checked my emails and looked at their schedule.  
“Where are we going to sleep?” Niall asked as I pulled out my laptop and settled on one of the gaming chairs in the corner.  
“I am obviously sleeping in my room. There are 3 other rooms that have king size beds in it. Pick and choose as you like. And of course if you want to stay ‘up all night’ right here, feel free.” The boys laughed at my poor attempt of a One Direction joke.  
I really didn’t mind the travelling that much, the only thing I mind most was working away from the office.  
Even though I have great internet at home, the problem is that it completely refuse to connect to Syco’s network. Things were always closer and more easily accessible when you worked in the office. I sighed and went to my organiser.  
I knew how unreliable computers could be; I also keep a manual version of the boys’ schedule in my diary.  
The concert weren’t for another three days. Sound check weren’t schedule for two days.  
I actually have nothing written down for the next day.  
A free day.  
“Hey, how do you feel about going to Disney for a day?” I asked.  
The footballers on my 80 inches screen froze, and a massive “PAUSED” in red written across it.  
I didn’t know I have FIFA.  
“You are letting us rampage Disney World without supervision?” Niall asked.  
“Not without supervision per se...” I said with a sly smile on my face.  
“I already like your thinking.” Louis answered.  
“Give me a few minutes.” I smiled, took my phone and walked into the next room.

Half a day later, I have six tickets to Disney World.  
They were hand delivered.  
Also with a mobile phone that rang the moment it handed on my dining table, which was covered with food that Harry made.  
Because the kitchen was just so irresistible.  
And Harry’s cooking skills came with high recommendation (Louis).  
Good thing my kitchen was stocked up.  
I have plenty of Loperamide stocked in the cupboard.  
And I have a list of takeaway numbers in my drawers.  
“Hello?” I said when the phone rang.  
“Put the phone on speaker.” Simon said.  
I put the phone on the table and put it on speakers.  
“Hello boys.” Simon said.  
“SIMON!” They shouted.  
“Here is the only one rule for tomorrow.” Simon said. “Whatever Hyoga said, you do. She will be responsible for all of you when you are NOT at the venue. If you want to keep her, you better all listen to her. Paul and the boys will be nearby, but the moment I mentioned Disney World they all had a grimace in their voices. So it will just be you guys.”  
“Thank you Simon!” The boys said. Zayn and Liam both shot me a look to say thank you.  
I smiled and winked.

I decided I was glad my parents decided to only have 1 child.  
Because when I opened my eyes the next morning, I realised little brothers were not desired.  
Especially five of them.  
Bang on at eight in the morning, they knocked on my bedroom door.  
“We are coming in!” Liam shouted.  
Someone is sounding more chirper than the day before.  
Definitely.  
“And please be naked!” Niall added.  
Niall, the one with no brain-to-mouth filter.  
I smiled at my original perception.  
Who care if I never answered?  
They burst into the room anyway.  
I turned my head towards the door just in time to see five bodies launching themselves on top of me.  
I was at the bottom of the human pile.  
“I’d rather no one touch my ass please!” I shouted from the bottom.  
“Sorry!” Niall said. “But totally not sorry!”  
To Niall’s disappointment, I was not naked.  
The five of them must have enough experience on rearranging themselves on bed, because within minutes they were all comfortably settled on my bed and suddenly I was cocooned between Niall and Liam, Zayn next to Liam and Harry between Niall and Louis.  
And really, I should have started to get used to it because they are possibly the most tactile people on the face of this earth.  
And that included me.  
“Gaga, who was your friend at the hospital?” Niall asked as I was snuggling further down the pillow.  
“What friend?”  
“The one that looked after us.” He said. “He’s a doctor?”  
“Of course he is - he took blood from you guys!” I said.  
“You took blood from us.” Niall said.  
“And I was a doctor. I am a doctor, just not practicing medicine.”  
“Is he your boyfriend?” Zayn asked. I shook my head. “Why not?”  
“What do you remember?” I asked.  
“A little bit more here and there.” Zayn answered. “I remember someone really tall helping you to drag us into an office.”  
“Not really tall.” I said. “About the same height as Harry.”  
“But you’re small.” Zayn said.  
“He was blond. Blond like Niall blond.” Liam said. “There were needles and little vials with colourful tops.”  
“Vacutainers.” I said. They looked at me. “Those tubes are called vacutainers.”  
“We were talking about it the other day, and you guys are close.” Niall added.  
“The closest.” I said and a fond smile appeared on my face.  
“That is not a smile for a friend.” Louis said. Harry hummed in agreement.  
“He also seemed to know your well.” Zayn said.  
“Of course he does, he’s my best friend.” I said.  
“He also hugged you and kissed your forehead.” Liam said.  
“Friendly gesture.”  
“He pinched your cheek.” Liam added.  
“I pinch yours too sweetcheeks.” I said and reached over to pinch him.  
Usually gesture like that would either get him pissed off or get a smile from Liam.  
No reaction.  
For a second I was worried, but then I guess if he wanted to tell me anything he’d tell me eventually.  
“He also said ‘you’ll never know what it’s like without me’ or something like that.” Niall said.  
“He was merely stating the truth. We grew up together. I don’t know what it’s like without him.”  
“But he must be important in your life.” Louis said.  
“Of course he is. But you guys are just as important. You might not think this and I am going to sound like a right self-absorbed bitch: but you need me as much as I need you. We work as a team.” I said. “Come on, enough of my life. Time to go.” I got up, crawled over Liam and Zayn, but without escaping a slap on my butt. “Niall Horan.” I said without turning around. “One day I’ll cut your hands off and you’d wonder what you’re gonna do when you’re in the shower wanting a wank.” and I walked towards my bathroom.  
“Talk dirty to me Gaga, keep talking dirty to me!” He said.  
“Gaga.” Louis said and I turned around. “Would you let us know when we won’t be the most important in your life?”  
“I promise I’ll keep you all posted. But for now, you five are the most important guys in my life.” I smiled. “And I don’t keep favourites.”  
“Group hug!” Zayn shouted and they all jumped at me again.  
I fell to the bottom of the pile and I could feel my rib bruising when it hit the wooden floor.  
“Guys, off my ass!” I said.  
“But it’s so nice!” Niall answered and he picked me up and planted a kiss on my cheek.  
That was the first time the boys shown me any real physical affection.

A day in Disney World was not enough time to actually go round the whole of it.  
We chose a few bits that would represent Disney World.  
I asked if the boys wanted to be on their own and I would meet them at a later time.  
I would be quite content to do my own thing is Disney - after all, who would be lonely at the happiest place on earth?  
“But Gaga, it’d be more fun with you. Odd numbers are a pain in the ass.” Niall said.  
“Yeah, six is the best number to go to theme parks.” Louis said. “We can go in threes or in pairs. It’s perfect!”  
Right when we got there, I picked up five autograph books and five character pens for them.  
I put them on the company credit card.  
Louis had Peter Pan, Harry has Captain Hook (when I was told Louis has always been like Peter Pan, and I said Harry was his archenemy but really deep down, they love each other - Niall laughed at my theory; they probably didn’t know I know what’s between Louis and Harry); Liam has Woody (So serious but can be so much fun), Zayn has Aladdin (He’s the only character that is slightly Middle-Eastern) and Niall has Simba (I told him because deep down he isn’t really human).  
They decided on Magic Kingdom, and the morning was spent chasing characters to take photos and get their autographs.  
“You are the best.” Niall said, pinching my ass and running off after Zayn who wanted to take a photo with Jasmine.  
I have been to Disney World enough times as a kid I wasn’t paying much attention.  
I was more into taking photos of the boys, for the boys and their families.  
The boys and I might still be trying to work things out between each other, but their mums love me.  
The general public’s perception of a Ph.D. and an M.D. is unbelievable.  
Throughout the day I was sending photos to their mums, and Simon too.

_Don’t let them have too much fun. S x_

I knew he was joking.  
He loves the boys.

They were munching throughout the day, ice-creams, snacks, bottle of coke here and a bottle of juice there - we didn’t bother about lunch.  
The day ended too early for everybody’s liking. You could see their faces when it was getting dark.  
“Boys, we gotta stay for the last parade and the last firework.” I said. “Let’s go grab some food, and we’ll go find the perfect spot for the last show.”  
We had dinner at one of the restaurants in Magic Kingdom. Luckily we were early enough so we got a nice quiet booth at the back of the restaurant away from the crowd.  
The boys ate like there was no tomorrow. There were pizzas, chicken, tacos, burgers all piled up onto the table. I was tempted at one point to tell the waiter to order the whole menu. I joined in with the wild caveman dinner.  
“You’re like one of us.” Harry said, slightly shocked by the fact that I had a burger in my hand, sauce dripping down my chin (Niall started singing “I wanna show you off to all of my friends, make them drool down their chinny chin-chin” before I whacked him round his head to shut him up because the album hasn’t been released yet) and drinking beer out of a can. “Aren’t girls supposed to like... diet and eat healthy food?”  
“Healthy food is for cowards. Diet is for fat people. I am hardcore enough to do exercise.” I said. “Besides, my burger is perfectly healthy. It’s got carbohydrate, protein, diary and vegetables -my whole five a day for that matter-. Just as healthy as a pizza or a freaking skinny chicken Caesar salad.”  
“Aren’t you going to tell us off or something?” Liam asked, holding a beer in his hand. I shook my head.  
“You are all old enough to drink in England and you have adult consent.” I pointed at myself. “I have a contract to prove that I am responsible for you five. If anything I’d be the one that’s gonna get arrested and I am expecting at least one of you will bail me out.”

After dinner, we went to my favourite spot to watch the parade and the firework - right outside by Cinderella’s castle. We were all sitting on the grass holding onto our very full stomach. I pulled out my phone and checked any pending messages. There were a few from their mums (thanking me for photos), one from Simon (telling me to make SURE they are at sound track the next day and a car will be sent to my house to pick us all up at eight o’clock sharp) and one from Paul:

_You are one of them now, aren’t you? P_

_Not quite, but getting there. x_

I texted back and put the phone back into my pocket.  
Last time I was at Disney I was with my ex-boyfriend.  
He promised the world to me, and told me how much he loved me.  
That was 3 months ago.  
I couldn’t believe it has been 3 months already.  
I fell flat onto the ground.  
I could feel the tears pricking at the back of my eye.  
“Are you okay?” Harry asked. He lay down next to me as I turned to look at him. His green eyes sparkled in the dark evening. The other boys were comparing their autographs and looking through the photos they took of the day, reminiscing excitedly about what they have done together, and what they have done whilst the few minutes apart here and there.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You suddenly had a frown on your face. Disney is the happiest place on earth. Why are you sad?”  
Oh Harry.  
He might not interact with me as much as the others, but he still seemed to care enough to ask about me.  
The ever so sensitive Harry.  
“Just remembered last time I was in Disney. It was a great memory.”  
“Was?”  
“Things changed, people changed.” I said.  
“Have you forgotten the details?” I shook my head.  
“I can remember it like it was yesterday.”  
“Then it’s a great memory.” He said, brushed my hair out of my face and looked up into the sky. “If it’s a bad memory, you wouldn’t have wanted to remember it.”  
Harry Styles everybody.  
Harry Styles, who has a better understanding in human emotion than I, 10 years older.

By the time we got back to my place, it was nearly midnight. I went straight to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Liam has already started to pull out mugs from the cupboard, and Louis already had the box of teabag. The rest of them slowly filtered back into the kitchen and it seemed like they have dropped their shopping back to their rooms. We sat at the kitchen island, all waiting for the kettle to boil.  
“I don’t want to go back to work.” Zayn said, playing mindlessly with the loose thread on his t-shirt.  
“Of course you don’t, we just left the happiest place on earth.” Liam said.  
“You know you’re always welcome to stay here just to go to Disney, right?” I said. Their faces lighted up.  
“How are you even real?” Louis asked. “You’re like... fairy Godmother.”  
“Far from it. Can you not see the horns on my head and the tail sticking out?” I asked.  
“Why are you doing this?” Harry asked.  
“Do what? Take care of you guys? It’s my job.”  
“But it’s not your job to share your personal lives with us!” Zayn said. “You covered for us whilst we went out, you let us have fun and you shared your life with us.”  
“I just know what it’s like to be late teens and early twenties and wanting to get away from things.” I said. “When I was at my late teen, I didn’t have someone to guide me. I was in boarding school and I did what everybody did. Did well in my exams. Go to Uni to do medicines because I have the grades. I hated every minute of it. The only thing that kept me sane was Nicky. I did all the residency stuff. Then I realised I didn’t want to cure people. I want to see how people die. I got into Forensics and then ended up Ministry of Defence. That was my true calling. I was made to grow up too fast, too soon. I didn’t want to grow up when I become a grown up. I still feel like I should still be about 16, 17; partying and having fun - but that’s not the way anymore. I didn’t know how to grow up until a few years ago. When I was finally ready to be a grown up, everybody round me was grown up already. You guys were lucky to find your true calling so earlier on but you were cursed to take on responsibility too early too soon. You NEED to have fun. Just because you’ve been told you can’t do this and you can’t do that, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t. You should always do what your heart tells you to. Go and make mistakes, because you need to learn from them. And I am always here to help to fix the problem if it gets out of hand. That’s what I am here for.”  
The kettle clicked.  
The water quietened down.  
They all looked at me. Louis went to pick up the kettle and Niall took the milk from the fridge.  
“Thank you.” Zayn said.

They went on with their bedtime business as usual.  
I was sitting on the sofa with my iPad and a glass of wine sending messages to Nick and catching up on my work email when Liam padded down the staircase and stood by the lounge.  
“Alright lovely?” I asked as I looked up. He looked uncomfortable.  
“I want to say thank you.” He said, playing with the strings on his pyjamas bottom. “I needed something to keep me busy and stop myself thinking... and Disney did the trick.”  
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Come sit down.”  
“Danielle and I broke up.” He said and walked toward the sofa and sat next to me. “A few days before we flew here.”  
“Oh honey.” I said. “I am not going to say ‘sorry’ because I am sure you’ve heard a lot of that already. How you feeling?” He shrugged.  
“It’s all because of me…” I wrapped an arm round his shoulder.  
“No it’s not.” I said. “Some people are only meant to be with you on part of your journey. Some people are meant to be with you all the way - like the boys. Some people come and go, and she’s just one of them.”  
“And you?”  
“I will be here for as long as you guys need me.” I said. I knew exactly why he was asking. He needed to know someone who Was willing to give him forever. Someone that wasn’t part of his family and not the boys. “You’ll find someone that’s meant to be with you forever soon.”  
“But it hurts.” He said, his tears threatened to fall out. “A lot.”  
“Of course it does. You guys were together for about 3 years...?” He nodded. “The longer the relationship, the more it hurts when it ends.” He looked at me as if asking me ‘How do you know’. “My last relationship was 7 years. We broke up because my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. With someone who is 10 years older than I am. I found out the day before Simon gave me this job.”  
“Sorry.” I shrugged.  
“Don’t be.” I said. “Funny because I was thinking about that earlier tonight when we were in Disney.”  
“You were talking to Harry.” He said and I nodded. “I caught a few bits of the conversation but I didn’t want to interrupt.”  
“It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. I lost someone who is not worthy of my time and instead I gain all five of you. I think I have done quite well.” I smiled and planted a kiss on his temple. “Go to sleep Paynis. We’re all here for you if you want to talk. I’m here if you need to talk. I have been told I am quite good at listening. If you want to go out, I am sure Niall is totally up for it.”  
“Thank you, Gaga.” He said. “Night.”  
“Night lovely.” I said.  
I turned back to my iPad and typed out a message for Nick.

_Thank you for being with me from the start and all the way to the end. x_


	6. October

They were warmer towards me since Orlando.  
Liam was definitely warmer after the short heart-to-heart we had in Orlando.  
But he was still very protective of the rest of the boys, and sometimes I wondered if there were two of them: the playful Liam, and the ‘Daddy Direction’ Liam.  
Niall was behaving as if he has known me forever.

There are months where I have more free time but it only happened because the boys were not touring and I was not flying in and out to see them.  
17th October.  
My birthday.  
The boys didn’t mention anything about it and I didn’t.  
Either they didn’t know or they just didn’t acknowledge it.  
After I got into university, I wasn’t keen on celebrating my birthday because of the workload as a medic as well as the workload that I decided to take on.  
Nick was the only person who would celebrate my birthday with me.  
Eventually when we were both working, we give up celebrating each other’s birthday on the exact date but celebrate it in the month instead.  
Because our jobs were too demanding, and the working hour was completely unpredictable.  
He was an emergency doctor, and I was working in MoD after all.  
We were just finished at Savoy (Our favourite place for celebration) and walking towards the bus station (we live within walking distance to each other) when my phone rang.  
It was Niall.  
Since the last incident when Liam called, I get worried when I see their names flashed across my screen.  
Most of the time they prefer to send text messages.  
The only reason they called, was usually because of an emergency.  
“Niall?” I said, Nick held my other hand walked towards the bus stop. “Is everything okay?”  
“I have a problem.” He said.  
“At least you sound sober. What’s wrong?”  
“Can I come over to yours and talk?”  
“Of course.” I said and fished out my Osyter from my bag whilst Nick dragged me onto the correct bus. “Can you get to mine in about an hour?”  
“I am kinda already at your apartment complex.” He said.  
“You remember how to get there?”  
“Well when you drove us to the studio last time I remembered the way from the London eye.”  
“Alright.” I said. “Go to concierge, give them my name and my flat number. They’ll give you my spare keys.”  
“Thank you thank you thank you.” He said.  
“I’ll see you in a bit.” I said and hung up. Then I turned around and look at Nick. “Looks like our evening just got cut short.”  
“What’s wrong?” He asked.  
“Niall needs to talk to me. In private.”  
“Alright.”  
“Sorry...”  
“I know how important the boys are to you. And whilst you’re still trying to work with them, you know I’m with your every step on the way and will always be here for you.” He said. “We’ll grab lunch next week, okay?” I nodded. “I’ll see you later.” He said as the lift opened to my floor. “Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.”

When I got home, Niall was sitting on my sofa with his face in his palm. His head snapped up when he heard my heels hitting the wooden floor.  
“You’re back!” He said, and then he frowned. “And you’re dressed up. Did I pull you out of a date?”  
“Dinner with Nicky.” I said. “Nothing major.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Come on, let’s go sit in the kitchen. Easy access to the alcohol.”  
I pulled out 2 beer from the fridge and signalled Niall to sat at the bar table. I handed him one and he took a massive swag out of it.  
“Slow down dude.” I smiled. “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“I didn’t want to say it to the boys because they are strangely protective of me, even though I am not the youngest of the group.”  
“You’re like an adorable cupcake with amazing frosting, that’s why.” I said and pinched his cheeks. “I sometimes feel strangely maternal when it comes to you too, until your hand reaches my ass.”  
“I don’t know where to start.” He said.  
“Let’s start from the very beginning, a very good place to start...” I sang.  
“You have a beautiful voice.” He smiled.  
“Thank you. So?”  
“So the beginning...”

It took a whole dozen of beer between the two of us before he finished his story, and I asked him questions.  
So he went out to a bar.  
And he might or might not have met someone less than 24 hours ago and spent hours talking to said someone.  
He might or might not have slept with said someone.  
He might or might not have had quite a lot of alcohol in his system to the point where he told said someone that he might or might not be in One Direction.  
My first question was “Is said someone a female or a male?”.  
He threw some peanuts at me.  
“Of course it’s a girl. I am not Larry!” He said. Then he realised he had said something wrong. He looked at me. I pretended I didn’t hear anything.  
I nearly slipped and called him Captain Niall of luxury cruise ship S.S. Stylinson.  
Damn Tumblr.  
My second question was if they were safe.  
“Always Gaga. Always.” He said.  
My third question was if he was up before she was.  
“Of course I was. I don’t want to have to deal with the morning-after-do-you-want-breakfast-and-a-coffee!”  
My fourth question was if there were any photos.  
“God no. I distinctively remember hiding my phone and throwing her phone in her wardrobe when we got to her place. She was so drunk anyway she probably had to get someone to ring her phone to find the damn thing.”  
I sat silent for a moment.  
Niall looked at me nervously, playing with the bottle opener.  
“This is what we’re going to do.” I said. “We are going to pretend nothing happened. You are going to tweet some sort of an innuendo that is completely obnoxious. Probably best if it’s about you haven’t been laid for a while.”  
“What?!” He asked. “But what if...?”  
“This will cover your back. If the girl is going to sell her story, you can referred back to your tweet and said ‘lies!’, on the bases that she has not got any evidence that you left behind. It’s been nearly 24 hours since you met her and you left her place nearly 12 hours ago. I should have heard something by now. Modest should have heard something by now.” He nodded. “No news is good news.”  
So Niall tweeted.  
I didn’t ask what he wrote, I am sure it’d be retweeted over and over and it’d be on Tumblr in no time.

_Bed broken or not, it hasn’t gotten any more action since!_   
_\- @niallofficial_

For the next few weeks, Niall stuck close to me when I was around.  
I flew out to L.A. then down to Sydney with them during their tour, and to make sure the boys were okay, and also make sure Niall weren’t biting off his own hand from worrying.  
God knows his nails were chewed enough already.  
The boys did wonder why he was living on the edge.  
Zayn was getting frustrated with him, and Harry wanted to know if he was okay.  
They were ready fight for him if someone has done something.  
You could tell by the look of their faces.  
Liam cornered me one evening in Australia when I was sitting at the bar with Niall.  
“Can I talk to you?” He asked. I patted Niall on his back and he smiled. “Early start tomorrow Niall, go to bed. You look rough.”  
“Thanks Gaga. I better head back to bed before Daddy Direction manhandled me. I’ll see you back in England.” He said and planted a kiss on my cheek.  
“Take care Leprechaun.” I said.  
Liam took Niall’s spot at the bar opposite me and ordered himself a Vodka Orange.  
“So?” He asked.  
“So indeed.” I smiled.  
I knew exactly what he was talking about.  
But this was between me and Niall.  
Liam was in daddy Direction mode.  
He’d not only make a fuss but also wanted to take matters into his own hand.  
“Niall. What did you guys talk about?” He asked.  
Straight to the point.  
I like it.  
“Nothing major.” I said. “I have a private and confidential clause in my contact. Whichever one of you talked to me, I am not allowed to enclose the information to the rest of you. Think of me as a safe that only you have the key to access. Unless you give the key to someone else, of course. Like I said, safest place to hide.”  
“It doesn’t work this way when it comes to One Direction. We are the closest and we have no secret between us.” He said.  
“Liam, I know.” I said and put my hand on his arm. “That’s more of a reason why I have to keep these confidential until Niall is ready to tell you guys himself.” I said. “Just like I haven’t told the boys what you said to me about Danielle until you were ready to tell them. What you tell me is between you and me, until YOU decided to tell them.”  
Liam sighed.  
“Why are you doing this?”  
“Doing what?”  
“Non-judgmental. Helpful. Caring.” He said. “You make it hard for us not to like you.”  
“Trust me, I think Harry and Louis dislike me plenty. You and Zayn both keep a fair distance from me.” I said. “Right now I can tell you Niall thinks I am his favourite person but that’s because like I kept telling you guys, I have your back and he took a leap of faith and trust me.”  
“It’s not supposed to be this way.” Liam said. “Our last manager...”  
“Your last manager was a piece of shit. He didn’t care about you guys except for the fame.” I said. “At the end of the day, I am a human being. You guys are too. You are not machines. You are not going to be perfect all the time and you are bound to slip somewhere at some point. Everybody make mistakes. I am here to fix any problems that you are willing to share with me. That’s what I said in the beginning, and that’s what I am going to say over and over again until it’s engrained into all your heads. Call me if you’ve killed someone. I will pick you up and hide the body for you. Admittedly I would have completely decomposed the body using sodium hydroxide, otherwise known as caustic soda because that’s how they get rid of road kill but that’s a completely different story...” He looked at me. “Is it really that hard to trust me?”  
“You have you understand, we never know who we can trust...”  
“And I appreciate that.” I said. “But please try? You didn’t have any problem trusting me when you needed me to hide things from Modest, and I haven’t betrayed you guys.”  
“I will... we will.” He said and stood up. “See you back in England.”

It turned out that it wasn’t going to be a problem because the girl never turned up, nor did the girl sold her story to any gossip magazine.  
To be honest, I personally think it was to do with the overdose of alcohol in both of their systems.  
The girl probably couldn’t remember much anyway.  
The five of them bounced into my office the day after they got back from Australia and placed a wrapped box in front of me.  
“Belated happy birthday.” Liam said.  
“And also sorry for pulling you out of dinner with Nicky.” Niall said.  
The boys were ooh-ing and aww-ing.  
“I told them.” Niall said. “They needed to know - it was affecting the way I was working and they were getting worried about me.”  
“Irritated and frustrated actually.” Zayn said. “You were on edge all the time mate.”  
“Niall honey, next time - keep the alcohol intake to the non-intoxicating level. You liver needs a break every now and then.” I smiled.  
“Noted. One direction from a doctor.” He joked.  
“Or maybe you just weren’t that great in bed after all if she hasn’t called back.” I joked.  
“Why don’t you give it a go?” Niall asked. “Take this hot body for ride?”  
I laughed.  
“Honey, I want at least an Aston Martins Vanquish or an Audi R8 Spyder.” I smiled.  
“How do you know I am not a Vanquish?” He asked.  
“Don’t do little boys.” I said.  
The boys were laughing again.  
“Open your present!” Zayn said.  
I opened the box.  
It was a pendant from Tiffany’s.  
It was a solitary opal surrounded by diamonds.  
Tiffany’s doesn’t do Opal. I looked at them, speechless.  
“We saw the Opal when we were in Sydney and Harry said opal is the October birthstone. So we took it to Tiffany’s and asked them to make it into a pendant.” Liam said and helped me put it on.  
“Thank you guys. Thanks. This is perfect.” I said and I hugged them one by one.  
Niall picked me up and swung me around, grabbed my ass and kissed my cheek.  
“Off my ass Horan.” I smiled.  
“Not sorry.” He said and put me down. “Thank you for being here for me.” He whispered into my ear.  
I talked to the boys about overloading with work in November so they could take Christmas and New Year off.  
To be fair, I was being selfish because I want to go to Japan for Christmas.  
Nick has some time off during Christmas and New Year (the joy of finally moving away from the newbie at A&E and an actual doctor that people respect), and since I haven’t been back to Japan for ages, it’d be a good time go and see my family.  
They boys were excited about the possibility of having Christmas off.  
I had to remind them they have to overwork during November first.  
They didn’t seem to have a problem with it.  
I took over the schedule from Modest and started to play around with it.  
Simon called up Modest and told them from now on I have free reign on the boys’ schedule.  
If I want the date to be changed, all I have to do it call Modest.  
If I don’t like the presenter, all I have to do is call Modest.  
Simon basically handed the boys’ lives to me four months into the job.

That evening, I left a message on Nick’s voicemail to meet him for lunch the next day.  
“What’s up buttercup?” He asked when he saw me standing at reception in the hospital.  
“So... Japan in December?”


	7. November

November has been a busy month to the point where I was hardly at home and the boys were always working.  
Luckily most of the time was spent in London and Europe.  
With the release of the new album, they were busier than ever.  
Interviews, promotion for their new album and most of all, still keep their ‘social’ life intact to show the general public that they are still human.

Liam was enjoying the single life with Niall.  
The two of them were constantly found bar hopping.  
I joined them a few times and enjoyed watching them let loose with the alcohol in their system, but I was always sober to drop them back home.  
After the incident a few months ago, I refused to trust anyone to do that job as long as I was there.  
Zayn made the most of his ‘social’ time with Perrie.  
The two of them were constantly found together all lovely dovely.  
It was cute.  
The boys teased him endlessly.  
I teased him endlessly.  
He was in such a good mood he didn’t mind - maybe he was starting to warm up to me after all.  
Harry on the other hand, was giving a task by Modest to date (aka photographed with) different people because the dating rumours of him and Louis were starting to get out of hand.  
Again.  
Louis was giving the task to spend more time with Eleanor.  
Starbucks.  
Shopping.  
Shopping and Starbucks.  
Neither of the boys was happy.  
They haven’t mentioned anything about “Larry Stylinson” to me.  
I didn’t mention anything either, but they made the most of their time together when they were out of the limelight - you hardly see one without the other.

It was during the one day off they had when hell broke loose.  
A photo was emailed to me from Modest whilst I was working my way through some of the scheduling for the boys.  
I assumed that email was another job when I noticed the size of the email.  
The photo was of Harry and Louis getting cosy in a cinema.  
It was grainy, but Louis’ tattoo was visible from the little light there was in the cinema.  
You couldn’t possibly deny the tattoo - the four suits of cards on Louis’ wrist.  
And the mob of hair on Harry’s head.  
I was at the O2 with Liam, Zayn and Niall watching the Rolling Stones.  
Louis mentioned he was going to catch a movie with Harry at their local cinema.  
I didn’t think much of it because we’ve been to their local cinema so many times and no one has recognised them.  
It felt like Modest wanted to knock me down, after Simon asked them to handover the boys’ job and scheduling to me.  
I dialled Liam’s number straight away.  
They were in rehearsal, and if he saw my number he would pick it up.  
“Hello?”  
“Liam?” I said. “Come over to mine when you guys finish tonight - keys at concierge.”  
“How do we get to…”  
“Niall knows the way. Can you tell the boys?”  
“Sure, what’s the...”  
“Also, tell Louis and Harry to not travel together.” I interrupted.  
“Gotcha.” He said, pretty much picked up right away what I was hinting at. “We’ll see you tonight.”

I called Will - he was the easiest to deal with at Modest and asked him if that was the only photo or if there were more.  
He said he has confirmation that it was the only photo.  
I told him to give me 24 hours to investigate.  
He said they could only give me 12.  
I took that as a good sign - if it was Richard and Harry, I wouldn’t even get 10 minutes.  
I saved the photo onto my memory stick and walked out of Syco just before lunch.  
Just before I left the office, I left a note on Simon’s desk.

_Emergency. Will be on mobile - boys with me tonight. H_

When I got home, I texted Nick I have an emergency and needed his help, if he wasn’t working.  
He called within minutes and said he’d be at mine within the next hour.  
I turned the music up and drew my curtains in my study.  
I needed full concentration to make sure this is going to work properly.  
I uploaded the photo from my memory stick and pulled it up onto my 30 inches screen.  
I played around the contrast of the photo and the light of the photo.

Oh Larry.

There was no doubt it was the two of them.  
They were holding hands, whispering into each other’s ear.  
If your ear is on your cheek.  
Right by the corner of your lips.

“What’s wrong?” I heard Nick shouting from the door. He must have followed the music from my study. “Curtains and music. This reminds me so much of finals.” I signalled him towards my computer screen. “Larry Stylinson.” He said.  
“How do you know things like this and I don’t? I am the queen of boyband!”  
“I work in Emergency darling. We have shitloads of gossip magazines around the place that I read whilst I have lunch.” He said. “You on the other hand, hang around dead people and you don’t need entertainment anywhere in your waiting room. After that you went to Ministry of Defence and surely you don’t have any free time to do anything besides defending the country?”  
“Help?”  
“Photoshop?” I nodded. “I guess we’ll have to shove the rest of the boys into the photo?”  
“And me.” I said. He looked at me. “I was with Zayn, Liam and Niall at the O2. Shit we have to play with the encrypted information of photo as well.”  
“You get on with the encrypted messages - you’re the one that did Forensics after all. I deal with the photoshopping.” He said. “Just like the good old days.”

Back in the days when Nick and I were in university, we used to photoshop a lot for fun. It was brainless, and it was fun just because it wasn’t something to do with medicine and it took our mind off school work, yet it kept our fingers flexible.  
After so many years of playing around with photoshop, we have perfected that skill and it has come in handy many times.  
Like photoshopping people out of some very good photos of ourselves.

5 hours later we have gone through 4 litres of coke and the photo was changed.  
We pulled the original photo up side by side next to the one that we changed.  
It was as close to perfect as we could make it.  
I have changed all the encrypted data of the photo.  
I put it through a digital forensic software that we used to use in MoD.  
It checked out okay.  
I even threw in a bonus selfie of the six of us cheering and screaming at the Rolling Stone concert as backup if the people who took the photo said the photo was fake.  
“I think our work here is done.” He said and kissed my head. “I better get home for a wee bit of a nap - I need to be back in the hospital at seven tomorrow morning.”  
“Thank you.” I said and kissed his cheek. “Sorry I kept you and sorry you don’t get to meet the boys again.”  
“I am sure there’ll be a time when I get to meeting them.” He smiled and let himself out. “Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.” I said.

The boys didn’t finish rehearsal until late.  
I had just enough time to prep them with the photos before sending my response back to Modest.  
When they got to mine it was late already, and I made Tacos and hope it’d be enough for them.  
“We didn’t do anything!” Niall said the moment the front door open.  
“Come in first you idiot. I have food.” I said and waved them in. I stuck the memory stick into the TV’s USB slot. They all settled in front of the TV and reached for the food. “I need you all to listen and look carefully.” They nodded. “If you don’t I shall take away the food.”  
Their heads all snapped up and looked at me. “Very good. Exhibit A.”  
I pulled the photo that Modest has sent me.  
The photo of Louis and Harry.  
The whole room went quiet.  
“Who... what... When did this come through?” Zayn asked.  
“That’s why you called.” Liam said. I nodded. “You can’t tell if it’s Harry and Louis with that contrast. The lights are not good enough and plenty of people have suits of cards tattooed on their wrist.”  
Defensive daddy Direction mode.  
I have seen this before.  
“Exhibit B.” I said, the screen flickered as the contrasts was changed.  
No doubt it was Harry and Louis.  
“Okay. So what does Modest want now? Me spending a day shopping with Eleanor? Sat in Starbucks for a few hours? Or are they handing Harry over to another cougar?” Louis asked angrily.  
“Tommo. Chill. I haven’t finished yet.” I said. “Exhibit C.” I pulled out the photo that Nick and I have spent majority of the afternoon working on. All their eyes popped out.  
The six of us standing in front of the Breaking Dawn Part II poster.  
“What’s... that?” Niall asked. “When was I in the cinema?”  
“We all went to see Breaking Dawn Part II at the cinema at the O2 yesterday. Exhibition D.” I said and pulled out the selfie that I took of us at the Rolling Stone concert. “Just before we ALL went to the Rolling Stone Concert.”  
“How... did you do... THAT?” Zayn asked. “That’s SICK!”  
“That’s for me to know and not for you to find out.” I said. “Whoever wanted to send them to gossip magazines - I have it covered. This is pretty close to fool proof.”  
“Who else know about the photo?” Harry asked.  
“Which photo?” I asked.  
“The first one. Exhibit... A.”  
“You guys. Modest. Simon, possibly. Me.” I said. “And my best friend who helped me.”  
“But did you not expose us by having your best friend helping you out?” Harry asked.  
“The same best friend who took care of Liam, Niall and Zayn.” I said. “I trust him with my life. And if he hasn’t said anything about Liam, Niall and Zayn being drugged in a gay bar by Rohypnol, Tramadol and Valium, I don’t think he’d say much about these.”  
“But he’s still a liability.” Louis argued.  
“Do you have a better plan to play this down?” I asked. “If you have to live a lie either way, would you choose the one that would have a less impact?”  
“She’s got a point, you know.” Zayn sighed.  
“I am sending this back to Modest and tell then our side of the story. The original photo that was sent to Modest? I am claiming it a fake.” I said. “Unless someone going through my computer history and back it up to 24 hour ago, there would be no way anybody is going to find out. I am going to wipe my computer after I sent the email to Modest to cover MY back though I am pretty confident with my photoshop skills. I have professional qualification to claim that as a fake and even sue whoever sent this photo... I just hope I don’t have to because at the end of the day, my photos are the fakes.”  
“This is like CSI meets White Collar.” Niall said. “Totally turning me on.”  
“Who are you?” Louis asked.  
“You manager. Someone that will do anything to protect you and to keep you guys happy.” I said. “So. Where were we and what did we do on your day off?”

I didn’t tell Modest my photos were photoshopped.  
Like I told the boys, I claimed the photo that was sent to Modest was photoshopped - the boys and I were photoshopped out.  
And someone one has sent the original to Syco and landed on my desk.  
Modest wanted to examine the photo - both the one of us in the cinema and the one of us at the O2.  
I let them have both of the photos.  
I was quite confident with my photos.  
And also not many people know about the encrypted information of the photo.  
It was easy to prove my photos are real when the information for both of the photos matches except for the time stamp.  
And the make of camera of course.  
Which make sense, because we went to the cinema and then to the concert.  
I had more than enough evidence on my hand to proof that we were together.  
I went as far as making fake ticket stubs for the Rolling Stone Concerts.  
There were plenty of people that saw us there, and when there are 3 members of One Direction there, people would have thought they might have seen Harry and Louis there too.  
I didn’t say that to Modest of course.  
I told Modest that all six of us were together on their day off.

Modest never told me who sent the photo to them.  
I personally think there was mole within Syco that Modest has planted just to keep an eye on the boys and create gossip.  
Because when it comes to celebrity, bad publicity is still publicity.  
And as long as there is publicity, they are on covers of magazines and people won’t forget them.  
The boys were getting good at coordinating what to say with me after the incident at the bar.  
Niall even had more experience after what we experienced the PISS (Possible Intoxication Sex Scandal).  
The moment the photo hit the newsstand, they were tweeting things like there was no tomorrow.  
We were all sitting in my sitting room.

_It was a 1D bonding day with our manager. What happened to the rest of you?_   
_@harrystyles_

_@harrystyles we were right there! Where did we go?_   
_@real_liam_payne_

_@real_liam_payne Nando’s. We must be at Nando’s._   
_@niallofficial_

_@niallofficial We didn’t have Nando’s. We had Pizza because @louistomlinson wanted pizza. And there’s no Nando’s._   
_@real_liam_payne_

_There is a Nando’s in O2. RT @real_liam_payne And there’s no Nando’s._   
_@nandosuk_

_YOU LIED TO ME @hyogacamus! RT @nondosuk There is a Nando’s in O2. RT @real_liam_payne And there’s no Nando’s._   
_\- @niallofficial_

_@niallofficial I never said there’s no Nando’s._   
_@hyogacamus_

_This is what happened AFTER the movies. ROLLING STONES ROCKS!_   
_@louistomlinson_

He posted the photo that I made of the six of us at the Rolling Stone Concert.  
“Perfect timing Louis.” I smiled. He gave me a thumbs up.  
“Hey you ignored me!” Niall said.

_We went to watch Breaking Dawn because @hyogacamus said so. Look what happened! Should have gone to see Nativity 2!_   
_@zaynmalik1D_

I looked over at Zayn.  
He has a perfect straight face on.  
I couldn’t believe Zayn outed me like that.  
But at least I was gaining followers and also hate tweets that I have managed to ignore, right?  
It didn’t matter to me because most of my tweets were of photos of food anyway, and I don’t usually look at any messages.

_Sorry @zaynmalik1D, apparently I have bad taste in movies as well as the ability to be invisible just like you. x_   
_@hyogacamus_

Modest couldn’t find any fault in the photo, and for them not to trust me indirectly meant they didn’t believe in Simon, because he was the one who recruited me to look after the boys.  
And if they claimed that it was fake but cannot produce or identify the origin of the photo, it’d prove that they have a mole in Syco.  
Modest never questioned anything else.  
But at least it meant Louis didn’t have to go on another date with Eleanor, and Harry didn’t have to be thrown to the cougar.  
When we finished that evening, Niall and Liam both hugged and kissed me good-bye.  
Zayn gave me a quick hug and walked off.  
Louis and Harry were the last to leave.  
They took Louis’ car, but since they live together, it wouldn’t be so strange for them to get home round about the same time.  
If they were both leaving from mine.  
“Thank you.” They said as they stood by the doorstep.  
“Wouldn’t know what to do without you.” Louis said and hugged me. Harry joined in. “Au contraire to public belief, I don’t hate you. I just don’t know if I should trust you with my life.”  
“Just trust me enough to let me do my job will do. I wouldn’t know what to do with your life anyway.” I smiled. “Safe journey home.”


	8. December

I thought I have managed to escape from the boys at least for 20 days.   
At least that was my plan.  
I should have learnt to keep my mouth shut around them after the Orlando incident. 

I managed to arrange and negotiate the amount of work for the boys in December, and I have also booked 2 weeks off in December whilst they were having their time off.   
My last six months have been massively hectic.  
I would have laughed at your face if you told me I’d be the manager of One Direction and I’d be responsible for 5 boys that conquered the world with their music.  
Very much like the Backstreet Boys did.

Nick and I booked a holiday to Japan.  
I needed a rest, so did he.  
I was sitting at my desk one lunch time with Nick on the phone when the boys burst into my room as usual.  
“Greetings!” Niall shouted. “Be very afraid because you aren’t going to see us for a while.” I signalled him I was on the phone and he mouthed a ‘sorry’.   
“I’ll come round tonight - eight okay?” I asked.  
“Yeah sounds good.” Nick said. “See you tonight. Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.” I said and hung up.   
“Who was that? I thought you don’t have a boyfriend!” Louis said. “Or a girlfriend for that matter!”  
“It was Nicky.” I said.   
“I thought you guys weren’t together!” Liam said. “You said ‘Love you back’, I assumed he said ‘love you’ before he hung up?”  
“Actually, it was ‘love you Bun’ and ‘love you Hare’.” I said. They all looked puzzled. “Have you ever read a children’s book called ‘Guess how much I love you’?”  
They all shook their head except for Zayn.   
“It’s about two hares telling each other how much they love one another. It was never said they were father and son in the book, but it was assumed that way.” I nodded. “What’s that got to do with it?”  
“It was published in 1994. Nicky was 10 and I was 9.” I said. “We came across when we were in a bookshop whilst our parents were having coffee next door. We read the whole thing and fell in love with the book. We always say ‘love you’ and ‘love you more’ to each other. So we started to say ‘love you big’ and ‘love you little’, only ‘love you little’ sounds horrific, so we started saying ‘love you hare’ instead. Only there’s a big hare and a little hare, so he started to call me bunny, in a bunny rabbit. And it just slowly evolved to ‘love you bun’ and ‘love you hare’.”  
“Aww... that is a cute story.” Louis said.   
“Let’s try again, shall we?” I said.  
“Greetings! Be very afraid because you aren’t going to see us for a while.” Niall repeated.   
“And thank god for that.” I joked. “You guys have some time off?”  
“Thanks to you!” Louis said. “Are you having some time off?”   
“Duh. You need a break away from me as much as I need a break from you.”   
“Do you not love us anymore?” Liam asked, suddenly serious.  
“Don’t be silly Paynis, I love you all to bits. I just need some time to regroup myself.” I said and pinched his cheek. “It’s been a hell of 6 months for me. Too many changes, I need to gain some normality back in my life to make sure I am not dreaming.”  
“Changes?”   
“New job, lost a psychoexboyfriend, gain five little brothers and filling up my passport... need I say more?”  
“Psychoexboyfriend?” Louis asked.  
I knew it’d be the thing they picked up from the 15 words I said.  
Harry and Liam both looked at me.  
They knew a little bit here and there from talking to me in Orlando. They didn’t say anything.  
“Minor details.” I said.   
“So what’s your holiday plan?” Liam asked, trying to change the subject. 

This should be the point I stop myself.  
But I didn’t.  
Because I love them all too much.

“Nicky and I are thinking of going to Japan.” I said. “Hokkaido to be precise. My mum is from a little town up there.”  
“I love Japan.” Harry said.   
“WE LOVE JAPAN!” Louis said.   
“When are you going? Can we come? Do you have your own place like Orlando?” Niall asked.   
“Soon, I’d rather not, no but my parents do - I am not staying there though, the town is too small and I am planning to do some travelling, cross country skiing and sightseeing.” I said. 

Two days later, I have two tickets to go to Sapporo.  
The next day Liam and Niall hijacked me for lunch a week before I was about to go off (a day after I have booked my ticket and hotel).  
I was completely oblivious to the fact that Zayn went through my email on my computer and Louis and Harry booked their tickets and hotel.

“I don’t believe it.” I said when I got to the airport with Nick.  
“Hmmm?” He asked.   
There I was at the check-in desk, about to drop my baggage with Nick when the five of them walked up to me.  
“Good day to go to Japan, don’t you think Gaga?” Liam asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Niall was sitting on top of the trolley.  
“It was.” I asked. “Do I dare to ask the stupid question ‘what are you guys doing here’?”  
“We are going to Japan!” Niall said.  
Harry still looked half asleep clutching tight onto Louis’ arm. Zayn was sitting on their trolley.  
Their matching beanies were pulling all the way down, a few of Harry’s naughty curls escaped on the side, and Louis’ got his glasses on.  
It was early enough in the morning and there was no one at the airport to notice them.  
The five of them looked as if they were going to the Arctic.  
“Surely you guys want to spend your Christmas with your family?” I asked.   
“It doesn’t matter as long as there are presents under the tree.” Louis said.   
“And what about Perrie?” I asked and looked at Zayn.  
“She’s on tour right now so I am not going to see her for Christmas.” Zayn shrugged.  
“Are you going to introduce us?” Liam asked.   
“These are the boys.” I said. “Boys, this is Nick.”   
“Nicky.” Nick answered.   
“The infamous Nicky. The doctor and the photoshop guy!” Niall said and reached out to shake his hand. “Nice to meet you properly.”  
“Yes. And the pleasure is all mine.” Nick said. “Would it be weird if I ask for a photo and autograph from your guys?”  
The boys said “No” at the same time as I said “Yes”. I picked up my hand luggage.   
“I am going to go into duty free to forget this very painful and embarrassing moment because my very straight male best friend just asked 5 boys, who are nearly 10 years younger than he is for photo and autographs.”  
I left the six of them trailing behind me.   
The boys wanted to ask Nick questions about me, and Nick was happy enough to entertain them.   
Not all the shops were open, so I ended up sitting in Starbucks with a mocha with the boys and Nick. The moment Nick sat down next to me, I rested my head on his shoulder and pulled down my beanie.  
A bad habit that I picked up from the boys 6 months into my job.  
Always have a beanie in my bag.  
And a spare one in my car.  
“It’s so strange to see Gaga not running around after us.” Niall said as Nick planted a kiss on the top of my head. Niall reached over and pinched my cheek. “She looks our age right now.”  
“Younger than us.” Liam said.  
“Ssh guys. Napping.” I said.  
“She’s so different.” Louis said. “It’s like she’s a completely different person when she’s round you.”  
“I have run out of energy trying to keep up with you five. I’m old.” I said. “This holiday was going to be a break.”  
“Was?” Liam asked.   
“It was supposed to be a ‘One Direction’ free holiday.” I said. “I was going to spend two thirds of my December not doing anything and just sit and eat and enjoy the onsen.”   
“Onsen?” They all asked at the same time.  
“Hotspring in Japanese.” Nick answered.   
“Not going to do anything?” Harry asked. “At all?”   
“Nope.” I said. “Eat, sleep and onsen. Possibly some sightseeing - a trip to the prison. That was my plan.”  
“What?! Prison?” Liam asked.   
“Prison museum. One of the most famous sights in Hokkaido.” Nick said.  
“Then why are you hotel hopping?” Zayn asked, pulled out a piece of paper. “You’ve booked like hotels all across Hokkaido.”  
“You guys are nothing but thorough.” I sighed and buried my head into Nick’s shoulder. He scratched the back of neck.  
“It’s like there’s 2 Harry-s.” Zayn said and looked between me and Harry, who was half asleep on Louis’ shoulder. “Dark curly hair, beanie and half asleep.”   
“I have never seen the unbeatable Gaga like this!” Niall amused. “She’s like a kitten!”  
“She is a little snow leopard.” Nick said.   
“I hate you all.” I said. 

To be fair to the boys, it was actually quite nice to have them around.  
They were good a distinguishing the fact that I am their friends during the 20 days we were in Hokkaido.  
They were sitting literally surrounding Nick and me, and we were right at the far right hand corner.  
Louis and Harry in front of us, Zayn, Liam and Niall next to us.  
We checked in online.  
They checked in online.   
There was no way they would have known where we were sitting. How did they manage to find out where Nick I was sitting on the flight was still a mystery.  
Admittedly there were only a limited number of seats in business class (a Christmas upgrade from Simon).  
And for some very strange reason, they found it hilarious when I speak Japanese.   
It started when we were on the flight to Tokyo.  
The flight attendant asked us what to have for lunch.  
The boys and Nick of course ordered everything in English.  
And it was all alright until the lady asked me.  
In Japanese.  
And my auto-response was in in Japanese.  
They looked at me.  
“Sorry what did you just say?” Louis asked, laughing.  
“I said I wanted the chicken.” I said.   
“No you didn’t. At least it wasn’t in English.”  
“You’ll get used to it.” Nick said. “She has this thing where she switches language and she doesn’t notice it.”

Then when we had to get a transfer from Tokyo to Sapporo, I grabbed one of the ground staffs and asked where we needed to go.  
In Japanese.  
They started laughing again.  
“Not funny.” I said.   
“It is!” Niall said. “It’s like you’re not from this world!”  
“You aren’t either leprechaun.” 

It was funny until we got to Sapporo when we picked up our JR passes and went straight onto the train to Abashiri.  
Abashiri is so tourist free not many people speak English.  
They actually needed me to speak Japanese because no one speaks enough English to understand what they were saying.

Unbeknownst to me, whilst I was happily sleeping on the flight to Tokyo from London and using Nick as a human pillow, Nick has given the boys a short version of my background.  
And whilst we were in separate onsen in Abashiri.  
I could hear them over the barrier, they were talking and laughing but couldn’t hear them clearly of what the conversation was.  
I didn’t think much of it, and I didn’t know until we were having dinner after we were at the onsen.  
It was an offhanded comment Harry made.  
Not a rude one, more like an observation.  
I was quite busy enjoying the hotpot in front of me, and getting a bit too excited about Japanese food.  
“Nicky, we need tofu.” I said. “And some chicken and tomato. It’ll bring the flavour out.”   
Nick stood up and went to the buffet table to get what I just said I needed.  
“Look how perfect your pot looks compare to ours.” Harry said. Mine was perfectly placed, and the top sit happily and snuggly. Harry and Louis’ pot was so full the top was sitting on top of the vegetables. Liam and Zayn’s pot has their ingredients thrown in, but have learnt from Harry and Louis’ pot that not to put everything in there straight away.  
And Niall’s was empty.   
I looked at him, not quite sure what to say.  
He looked so damn adorable in his yukata as well, which also made me speechless.  
“This is the way I was taught to make nabe.” I said, shrugged.  
“Nabe?” Liam asked.  
“Hot pot.” I said.  
“Chicken and tomato.” Harry said and waved at the buffet table especially held the hotpot ingredients. “They weren’t there. Everybody is content with the stuff there, but you’ve thought about more it. And Nicky has just got up and get the stuff for you, because you have to keep your eyes on the pot. You don’t rely on anybody except for Nicky.” He added.   
I looked at him.  
It was scarily accurate.  
“You’re an over achiever, and you don’t have many friends because none of them take care of you like Nicky does.” Harry said.   
Liam must have nudged him because he looked at Liam, confused.   
When Nick got back to the table, I looked at him.  
“Whatever I did, sorry.” He said.  
“Why do you assume you’ve done something?” Zayn asked. “It makes you sound guilty.”  
“I don’t think Hyoga’s done anything wrong.” Nick said, sliding the food into the hotpot. “At least to me she’s done nothing wrong.”

When we got to Sounkyo, I couldn’t wait to enjoy the private onsen that I have booked.   
Most onsen in Japan are separate to male and female.  
But when you privately booked an onsen in your room, you could share it with whomever you want.  
Nick and I grew up together and we have always been very open with each other.  
I have seen him naked plenty of time, and he has seen me naked plenty of time.  
When we got to our room in Sounkyo (more like a suite actually), I flunked my stuff into the room, kicked off my shoes and went straight to look at the outdoor onsen.  
It was snowing outside, and I was getting giddy just thinking about the amount of time I can just sit in the onsen and relaxed.  
“You just want to jump into the water, don’t you?” I nodded enthusiastically. “You go ahead and wash.” I planted a kiss on his cheek, pulled out the yugata and went to the bathroom. “Dinner in about 2 hours, don’t spend too long! I’m just going to go and get some drinks from downstairs!”  
By the time I finished in the shower and was sitting in the onsen, humming one of the boys’ songs, the door to my onsen opened.  
I fully expected it to be Nick, but it wasn’t.   
A mass of limps and screams suddenly got into the onsen and submerged themselves all the way and only their heads were out of the water. I didn’t even have a chance to see who they were until they all settled down. They have left me at one corner of the onsen and they settled on the other side of it. I grabbed my small towel and flunked it on top of the water and made sure my big towel was within reach if I need it to get out. Luckily it was already dark outside and they couldn’t make out my body in the water.  
Until I get out of the water of course.   
There were still lights coming through my suite.  
“What are you ALL doing here?” I asked.   
“We wanted to ask you about skiing tomorrow and Nicky said you were out here.” Liam said. “God I now totally understand why you love this so much.”   
Nick then came out in his robe and joined us in the water and sat next to me.   
The onsen itself was not exactly small.  
But when there are seven of us and I am the only one that is vertically challenged (Well, and Louis too but he isn’t as vertically challenged as I am), it felt a bit claustrophobic.  
The boys were quite happily chatting away when suddenly Niall let out of a scream.  
We all looked at him.  
“This is the best time to get close to Gaga and it only occurred to me NOW!” Niall said. He tried to shove the boys around, I shifted towards Nick. Niall decided moving in the water was too slow.  
He grabbed his small towel and covered himself, make sure he was decent, because he carefully moved himself over the stone to get closer to me. I pulled the small towel up to cover my front and got out of the water, made sure I wouldn’t be flashing anybody my x-rated bits. We were standing on the opposite end of the onsen. I could hear Liam and Louis laughing.  
“Oh come on Gaga, just a peek.” Niall said.   
“Not a chance pervert.” I said, thinking of the best way to get away from Niall and make sure he wouldn’t mess with me again.  
At least not in the onsen.  
He was about to take off and came round to catch me, I realised I could walk round to the back of the boys and made a leap over back to Nick.  
My foot would land on the stone that I was previously sitting on.   
If I slipped, Nick would catch me.  
And all they’d see would be my ass.  
Nothing x-rated about that - if I wear a throng they’d see just as much.  
Niall wouldn’t know where to put his foot and he would fall straight into the water.  
Pulling off his towel would be a bonus.   
“Get ready for a show guys.” I smiled and moved round to the back of the boys. “Niall? No hard feelings, okay?”   
“What are you talk...” He said as I leaped over the boys. Niall followed of course, as I predicted.  
There was a massive gasp coming from all their mouth, Nick’s arms were stretched out just in case but I found my footing on the stone next to him.  
I slid back down into the water, just in time to catch Niall mid-air.  
I reached up and pulled his towel down just before he hit the water.  
“BURN!” Louis said. I held Niall’s towel above the water and flunked it at his face when he resurfaced.  
“You’re the pervert!” Niall said.   
“Honey, I told you I don’t do little boys.” I said. “And by little I mean LITTLE.” and I stuck my little finger out.  
“It’s cold when you’re not in the water!” Niall argued.   
We sat in the onsen enjoying the hot water and the cool breeze on our faces.  
We kept a light conversation going, mainly about things we did when we were in school.  
We were talking about clothes and how tight Harry’s jeans were when Liam suddenly said “Gaga why don’t you wear skinny jeans? You have a really nice ass”.  
“I wanted to make the comment but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate when we are all butt naked.” Louis said.   
“Thank you for your observations and I dully noted regarding the skinny jeans.” I said. “My problem is that I am vertically challenged. I wouldn’t be able to get away with wearing them.” 

We went skiing at Sounkyo.  
Took the Ropeway up and then the ski lift to the top.  
The view was amazing.  
We took too many photos, the boys fell down too many times.  
That evening when we got back to the resort, they all sat in my onsen.  
Niall kept to his personal space, so did the rest of the boys - they knew not to mess with me in water.

We spent Louis’ birthday in Hakodate.  
Harry has asked me if I could help him - because it was Louis’ birthday.   
I asked him what he wanted it to be.  
He said black tie - and intimate.  
Sometimes money can be unbelievable thing.  
And it still shocked me what the name Simon Cowell could do across the world.   
The morning and afternoon we were at the Christmas Fantasy right by the bay.  
There was a massive tree and lots of little shops.  
The boys thought it was going to be like Christmas markets in Europe, but it was more like a firework show and lots of food.   
I changed the booking in Genova, the Hakodate Tower restaurant from the two of us (Nick and me) to the seven of us.  
They gave us a private room.  
Admittedly it was the tea room, but it was private and intimate.  
I had Skype set up so Jay, Phoebe, Daisy, Charlotte and Felicity would be able to be there on screen to celebrate his birthday with him.  
I even ordered a cake.  
Unfortunately because it was Christmas Eve, they lack Birthday cake choices, but they do plenty of Christmas cakes (I know, Japanese).  
So I had a Christmas cake with ‘Happy Birthday Boo Bear’ written on it.   
“This is one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.” Louis said. “Thank you so much guys.”  
“Harry organised it.” Nick said, popping open another bottle of champagne.   
“But I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Hyoga.” Harry said. “Thank you.” I raised my glass.   
“Anything for my boys.” I said. “You are like my little brothers.”   
“You are an AWESOME big sister.” Niall said. Liam nodded.  
“But what about my presents?” Louis asked, after we ate the whole cake and all of us were seriously buzzed from the champagne.  
“In England of course, why do we want to carry your present from England to Japan and back to England?” I asked. He pouted. “Just kidding!”  
Harry handed him an envelope.  
“These are the photographs of your birthday presents.” He said.   
Louis pulled out the polaroids.  
“Seriously guys. Seriously?!” He asked. “What’s the point?”  
“Harry said you’d like it this way!” Niall said.  
“Surely you can tell what they are?” I asked and took the photos off Louis’ hand.   
They were of wrapped presents.  
I laughed and showed Nick the photos.  
He laughed just as hard.  
“You always want to unwrap it yourself!” Zayn said. “You said it every year!”


	9. January

Nick went straight back into work on 31st after we landed on 30th evening. He opted for an early shift.  
He said he was already up anyway, he might as well just carried on.  
And because I was the one who dragged him off on holiday, I promised I’d do his laundry for him.  
Whilst I was waiting for the washing to be done, I started looking through the photos.  
Admittedly my trip was more enjoyable with the boys.   
Nick and I have spent a lot of holidays together, always just the two of us.  
There is some truth in ‘the more the merrier’.   
I just never really needed anybody else except for Nick.   
Sometimes I felt like I have very selfishly got possessive when it comes to Nick.  
I always think he was mine and no one else’s.  
But that wasn’t the case.  
He has family just like I do and yet he spent so much of his time with my family.  
Admittedly a lot of the time our family spent time together.  
He never told me if he had a girlfriend.  
And yet he was there all the way when I had a bad day or going through a rough patch with my psychoexboyfriend.

Even with the amount of travelling they do, they still suffer from really bad jet-lag so they actually slept through 31st.  
When they woke up it was too late to make an appearance anywhere.  
Even Gary Barlow’s New Years’ Eve Extravaganza.   
So they came to mine.  
Without any warnings.   
I was in my onesie when the boys arrived.  
All in there onesie and their overnight bags.  
And many many Waitrose bags.  
“YAY!” Louis shouted the moment I opened the door. He planted a kiss on my cheek on his way in. “We all match!”   
“Do I dare to ask why you guys are here?” I asked, Harry gave me a hug and walked in after Louis.   
“You’re the responsible adult and we thought you might be getting withdrawal symptoms after the holiday so we are here to celebrate New Year with you.” Liam said and did exactly the same as Louis. “We have presents!”  
Never thought I’d be referred as ‘responsible adult’.   
“Good because I do too.” I said and hugged Zayn and Niall kissed my cheek. “Go get yourself comfortable, I’ll pull the stuff out.”  
I got into the guest room and pulled out the present I got for the boys.   
When I got back into the sitting room, Louis was on his phone saying something like ‘yeah see you later mate; and don’t forget to bring your onesie!’.  
“I promise I am not starting a party right here at your place. Nicky rang.” He said as I flunked five gift bags onto the table, all with their names on it. “Your phone first but you didn’t pick up so he rang me. He said he’s finishing round about eight and asked if you want to get food. I told him we’ve got that covered already.”  
“You have?” I asked. Niall and Harry picked up all the Waitrose bags and walked into the kitchen.  
My flat was rather warm, so the boys all ended up unzipping the top of their onesies off, and opted to wearing just a t-shirt (or in Niall’s case, a vest) instead.  
I also didn’t need to know what Harry got Louis for his birthday.  
Because I could see it on their arms.  
Still raw from the needles penetrating the skin that was probably only done earlier that day.  
A boat and a compass.  
“You have one of those hotpots right?” Niall asked. I pulled that out from the bottom of my cupboard.  
“We have raw meat and vegetables!” Harry said. “I read somewhere Japanese like to eat nabe for New Year Eve and then have udon once it turned after midnight... we thought we could do that as a thank you...?”   
“Aww... you guys!” I said and hugged Harry. “I know deep down really you love me!”  
“Don’t push your luck.” Harry said.  
“But at least you’re starting to love me!” Harry smiled and didn’t say anything.  
Nor did he push me away.  
I count that as a win.  
“So presents?” Niall asked.  
“All the bags got your name on it. It’s only something little okay? Don’t expect too much from me. I ain’t no millionaire.”   
The boys ran to the sitting room, and then took their respective gift bags from the table.  
Niall got some new guitar picks and a customer made guitar strap.  
Harry got some new hair scarves and new silver jewellery that I thought would look nice on him.  
Zayn go a lot of new spray paint related stuff and skateboard things that I randomly picked up (because I have no idea what to get this boy).  
Liam got a few new hoodies and t-shirts.  
Louis got some new loafers and socks - I got him lots of new socks.  
The boys laughed when they saw the socks.  
“Aww... thanks Gaga!” They all said, and took their turns to hug me and kiss me.   
“We only got you something little too.” Liam said, pulled out a little gift bag. Again, it was the Tiffany blue bag. My eyebrows raised.   
“We don’t know what to get female!” Niall argued. “And mum loves Tiffany!”  
“Go for DeBeer for you mum next time. More mature and much more sophisticated.” I smiled and opened the bag.  
It was a pair of diamond earring with a sapphire drop.  
“Gosh guys, this is beautiful!” I said.   
“We think it’d look absolutely beautiful on you.” Harry said.   
“But guys, it’s too much!!”  
“Thank you for the last six months.” They all said.   
As we were in our onesie and preparing the food, getting ready for a massive feast when my front door opened.  
“Whazzup!” Nick has shouted and wandered into the kitchen with champagne. They all looked at him.  
He unbuttoned his coat and revealed his onesie.  
Everybody cheered.  
He came round and gave me a kiss on my cheek and high-fived all the boys.   
“Oh nabe! Who’s idea was this?!”  
“The boys.” I smiled as I slid the food into the pot. 

The food and the alcohol flowed throughout the night and when midnight was approaching, Nick pulled the champagne out from the fridge.  
Louis took the bottle of champagne and started to open the top.  
Only none of us expected it to pop open so quickly.   
The New Year started with a bang.  
Literally.  
The cork hit one of the walls and ricocheted right into Zayn’s eye.  
“What did you do THAT for?!” Zayn asked and sat down on the floor, covering his eye with his hands.  
We could see blood dripping down his face.  
Everybody froze.  
Except for Nick and I.  
We rushed over to Zayn. Nick grabbed his bag and I pulled latex gloves from my drawer in the kitchen and threw a pair at Nick who caught them expertly. I removed Zayn’s hand from the eye.   
There was blood in his hands.  
“It’s okay Zaynie, it’s okay.” I said. “It’s just the brow bone. Your eye is okay.”  
“But there’s so much blood!”  
“Trust me.” I said and turned to the boys. “There should be an ice-pack in the freezer. Grab that for me?”  
Nick came back with a little suture kit and some antibacterial wipes.  
“Alright guys, move out of the way. Let the A&E doctor through.” Nick joked and sat next to me. Louis has the ice pack in his hand and threw it at me.  
I caught that and put it on Zayn’s chin.  
I took the wipes off Nick’s hand.  
“Alright honey, this is going to sting a wee bit.” I said and started to wipe the blood off his eyebrow, and dabbed on his wound.   
“It doesn’t look too bad.” Nick said when I finally cleaned up the blood. “The force from the cork split your skin, nothing else is broken.”  
“Six stitches.” I said.   
“What she said.” Nick said and took his gloves off. “I’ll grab the cover for his face, and you prep the kitchen room.”   
Louis was at the verge of a breakdown from hurting one of his best friends.   
I could see it in his eyes.  
“Harry, take Louis into the sitting room? Please?” I said as I pulled out sprays and wipes and cleaned up the kitchen island. “Niall, can you go into the guest room and grab the yellow bin that says ‘sharps only’? Liam, can you grab the swirly chair from my study and help Zayn onto it?”  
The boys did as they were told.   
When Liam came back with the swirly chair, he helped Zayn onto the chair. I tipped him all the way back. Niall came back with the yellow bin, and I asked him to wipe it down with antiseptic wipes.  
“Alright, I’ll take care of Zayn from here, won’t be long!” I said and pushed them into the sitting room with Harry and Louis.  
Nick came back with a surgical mask and I pulled out new gloves for both of us.  
“Alright Zaynie, I’m just going to numb you okay?” I said and squeeze some anaesthetic cream round his brow bone and cheek.   
“Can you hold my hand?” Zayn asked and I nodded. I gave him my hand.   
Nick worked quickly, and as I said, it was six stitches.   
“I’m going to pop into the hospital to grab some painkillers.” Nick said as he removed his mask and his gloves.   
“Zaynie, still okay?” I asked. “Does it hurt?”  
“Can’t feel my eye and cheek.” He said.   
“Good. Let’s keep it this way. Take this.” I said and give him a pill and some water. “Can you get up?”   
He sat up on the chair, swallowed the pill, put his feet on the ground and stood up.   
“Right, let’s get you to bed.” I said. “The drug is going to knock you out in a wee while.”  
I walked him out of the sitting room.   
The boys all stood up.   
“I am so sorry Zaynie I am so sorry.” Louis said, sounding as if he was about to cry.  
“I’m good BooBear, I am good. Nothing to be sorry for.” Zayn said, started to slur his words a bit. “Just a cut - just a bad cut but Nicky and Gaga have fixed me, right Gaga? I’m fixed.”  
“Just some rest and some strong painkiller and you’re fixed.” I said and kissed his cheek. “Some help?” I asked. They all rushed towards Zayn and me. “Take Zayn into my guest room.” Liam and Niall lifted Zayn up and went to the guest room.  
Louis sat on my sofa half on top of Harry, and he was rubbing soothing circles on his back and kissing his head.  
I sat down in front of Louis on the floor and put my hands on his knees.   
He looked at me with tears streaming down his face.   
“It’s not your fault.” I said. “None of us expect that to pop open so quickly.”  
“I could have blinded him I would have seriously hurt him!” Louis said, tears in his eyes.  
Liam and Niall came back out from the guest room.  
Niall sat on the other side of Louis and Liam sat down next to me.  
“But you didn’t.” Liam said. “Accident happens all the time.”   
I looked at Harry.   
“Do you want to take Louis home?” Harry shook his head.  
“We’ll stay right, BooBear?” Harry said and Louis nodded.  
“Let’s play monopoly?” Niall said. “That would only wound the ego and end family relationship right?”  
We laughed.

Nick came back when we were just about to start.   
He left the painkiller by Zayn’s bedside with a glass of water.

3:36.  
That was the time when the last of the boys fell asleep.  
Last of the boys as in Niall, who declared himself as the winner of the evening.  
Because everybody has fallen asleep and he was still playing Monopoly.  
With me and Nick.  
I pulled out blankets from my storage and draped them over the boys.   
Nick handed me my glass of champagne and I sat down next to him again.  
“Just like old times.” He said, took a sip of his champagne.  
“Just like old times.” I said and smiled, rest my head on his shoulder.  
“Love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.”


	10. February

Zayn healed faster than I thought.  
He looked as good as new.  
Unless you are up close to his face, you couldn’t see the little scar on his eyebrow.  
Perrie didn’t know until Louis had a drunken confession moment and told Perrie.  
She was more upset with Zayn than with Louis.  
Because he didn’t tell her about it.  
Nothing a shopping trip and flowers couldn’t fix.

A week off was very rare for the boys, so they all decided to go home and see the family.  
And the week off was so close to Harry’s birthday, they all went out partying.  
To a gay bar.  
I told them to give me a shout when they were finishing.  
Nothing happened.  
They were all sober - at least sober enough not to slur their words.  
When I picked them up, I had a full trunk of alcohol.  
“You’re the best.” Harry said.  
We drank through the night.  
Nick came by round after he finished his shift.  
We were very merry by then.  
They all crashed at Louis and Harry’s that even after they partied.  
Including me and Nick.  
Nick wasn’t drunk though. He didn’t touch a drop of alcohol.  
He did however, blackmailed us with a lot of photos that he took with his phone and bagged a selection of autographed merchandise from the boys.  
And photos of them and him, which hung proudly in his research office.

After turning up with matching tattoos and having been spotted over and over again sharing clothes with each other, Modest issued a warning: Louis and Harry have to keep their distance from each other.  
Then there were the days when Louis was spending time with Eleanor.  
Harry spent a lot of his time sulking at home.  
Personally, going home to their family was probably a good idea.  
Just to keep Modest off their asses.  
I was pretty upset though.  
Even with that warning from Modest, nobody (still) wanted to tell me about the two of them.  
I told them I would catch them all at some point during the week. Niall was the first one that invited me over to see his family - I went with him back to Ireland and spent the weekend with him and his family.  
Even though they have a whole week off, I still have little errands to run that is related to them. One of the important things was to catch up with Jay because she has been worried about Louis, who even though is a bit of a class clown and completely and utterly flamboyant, there are days when he was so over the top that he might be hiding his real feeling.  
I needed Jay to tell me what I should look out for.  
I left 3 voicemails on Louis’ phone to tell him I was on my way, because I wanted to have lunch with him.  
Just the two of us.  
I do that every now and then, Liam and Niall were always up for it.  
Zayn too, but he was always quiet.  
Harry tended to avoid being with me on his own, he also tried to keep me at arm’s length unlike the rest of the guys, who eventually warmed up to me.  
He would come to lunch with me though, if one of the other guys was there.  
And there is Louis.  
Who sometimes I am not sure if it was the real him or not.  
When I asked if he would like to go shopping with me or join me for lunch, he’s always up for it.  
Sometimes he’d be like a massive teddy bear and all friendly and huggy.  
Sometimes he would do what Harry does - keep me at arm’s length.  
Sometimes he’d be completely detached and wouldn’t say a word to me for a whole day.  
Because Louis didn’t pick up his phone, I just turned up at his family home.  
He was supposed to be expecting me anyway.  
Jay saw my car parked on the drive and let me in straight away. We had a few cup of tea and she told me how much she worried about Louis, and again how she was feeling so much better knowing that her baby was taken care of by someone with 2 Ph.Ds and an M.D.  
Like I said, strange believes about Ph.Ds and M.Ds.  
“Harry’s here too, shall I grab the two of them down?” Jay asked.  
“Nah, I’ll go and grab them.” I said and smiled.  
Cheeky bastards.  
Modest told them to keep away from each other.  
It was probably my fault - I told them to do what their hearts tell them to.  
And to be fair, when they did ever actually listen and follow instructions from Modest?  
Modest was better off telling them what to do because they are more likely to not do it. The more you tell them not to do it, the more likely they would break the rule.  
It’s like the whole ‘rules are for breaking’ thing - and I totally understand that.

Louis obviously knew what it meant when it came to “The most dangerous places are the safest place”.  
He might act stupid, but he is probably the most intelligent of them all.  
I wandered quietly towards Louis’ room and was about to knock when I noticed the slightly ajar door. I stood at an angle where they couldn’t see me, but I could see both of them.  
Harry was sitting on Louis’ lap, and Harry has a pair tweezers in his hand.  
“Careful...” Louis said, wrapping his arms round Harry’s waist.  
“Don’t move.” Harry said. “This is really tiny and I want to get this out.”  
“It’s just my eyebrows. Ruin it if you like, they’ll draw it back on if it needs be.” Louis said, tightened his arms round Harry’s waist. “You’ve grown again.”  
“I haven’t.” Harry answered, trying to squirm away from Louis’ arms, but either he wasn’t trying very hard, or Louis has a great grip.  
“I can smell what you had for lunch.” Louis said and buried his face on Harry’s neck.  
“Sexy.” Harry said, given up and dropped the tweezers onto the bedside table.  
“It is.” Louis said and reached out to Harry’s face. “Everything is sexy about you.”  
“Lou...” Harry whispered, and their lips crashed together.  
They hands and body worked on autopilot.  
It was like a slow dance, and it was so beautiful to watch.  
Of course part of me felt perverted, I only called them my little brothers a few months ago and now I am watching them make out; but I couldn’t take my eyes off them. Luckily it was very much PG-13 - because I can’t see what was happening below the waists, but I have a very good idea what was happening when I heard Harry’s moan.  
Both of them stood up and took a side step which blocked me from my view.  
A click of belt buckles.  
The sound of jeans unzipping.  
The sound of trousers being dropped onto carpet.  
When I looked back into the room, they were both topless on the bed, Louis on top of Harry and they were kissing passionately.  
“Gaga!” I heard my nickname and turned around. It was Charlotte.  
“Hi Lottie.” I smiled and hugged her.  
“Is Hazza still here?”  
“Still?” I asked.  
“He’s been here since Lou got back on Friday morning.” Charlotte said.  
He has been here since I left for Ireland.  
“They are close.” I said.  
“Way too close.” Charlotte said and shook her head, I stood between her and the slightly ajar door, hoping she wouldn’t notice what was going on. Just at the moment, her phone rang and she headed back into her room. I shut the door quietly, hoping they won’t hear me and that no one is going to interrupt them.  
I went down back to the kitchen and talked to Jay. When she had to head off to the supermarket and I was going to show myself out, I pulled out two bottles of water before heading back upstairs.  
They seemed to have finished with whatever they were doing, and the door was once again ajar.  
That bloody door probably doesn’t shut properly.  
They were lying side by side on the bed next to each other, fingers tangled together.  
“When do you think we can come out?” Harry asked.  
“Who knows? Modest is a bitch.” Louis said, turned to brush the fringe off Harry’s face. “No matter what, I’ll always be next to you right here.”  
“I just wish we could go out hand in hand together, you know?” Harry said. Louis reached out with his free hand and dried the tear that was threatened to escape from his eyes.  
“I promise you. It’s just a matter of time. We’ll be here together. Forever. And a day.” Louis said.  
I left the water outside their room, tried to shut the door again and let myself out.  
As I was cruising on the motorway a few minutes later towards Wolverhampton to Liam’s, I dialled Harry’s number.  
“Hi.” Harry said.  
“Where you at?” I asked.  
“At home.”  
“Whose home?”  
“Whose home can I be?” He asked, starting to sound rather pissed off. “My own home of course.”  
Typical Harry.  
The moment he needed to lie, he started to get angry and annoyed at people.  
I know exactly what he meant though.  
Home is where the heart is, and his heart is with Louis.  
“Really? Then who’s that I saw in Louis’ house?” I asked. “Your evil twin?”  
“Hyoga...”  
“Tell Louis to make sure his bloody door is fixed. I tried to shut it. Twice. Lottie is home so don’t scare her for life, though who knows? She might enjoy it.” I said. “Go shut your door, I have left some water out for you guys.”  
Then I hung up and drove towards Liam’s.

“I saw Harry at Louis’.” I said when Liam sat down in front of me at a local Indian restaurant.  
“And?”  
“I saw them together.”  
“They are always together. They are best friends.”  
“Like together together.” Liam looked at me. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows just like he did.  
“Are you going to report them to the management?”  
“About what? Because they are in love?” He looked at me. “Really Liam? You think I’d do that?”  
“I don’t know what to think.” Liam said.  
“Surely you should have known better by now. Liam, I know real love when I see it.” I said. “Remember when I told you about my relationship after you told me you broke up with Danielle? The feeling of breaking up is so painful I will never forget it - and I won’t wish it onto someone else. Even my archenemy.”  
Then Liam pulled out a black soft leather Journal from his bag.  
“This is my book. The boys deemed it ‘the Book of Larry Stylinson’. It was supposed to be funny in the beginning between the three of us when we were constantly walking into the two of them doing all sorts of things. They used to make up all sorts of excuses too, but eventually we realised how real their relationship is. We never said anything, until they realised that we know. When they first got together officially and when they told us, Niall, Zayn and I made a pack - to protect them for as long as we have to.” He said.  
I put the journal safely into my bag.

I said exactly the same thing to Zayn when I visited him the next day, and to Niall on the phone whilst I was driving to Zayn’s.  
Niall only said one thing: “It is what it is. I’ll always be there to protect them with Zayn and Liam. I know you will too - you are our big sister and we trust you Gaga. That’s what Simon said and that’s what I’ll do.”  
Zayn’s reaction was similar to Liam’s but not as defensive.  
He chose his words very carefully and he watched my reaction throughout lunch.  
I told him Liam gave me “the Book of Larry Stylinson”.  
He was completely different after that.  
As if that was the sign for him to change his attitude towards me.  
To be honest, I thought Liam would have told them all by now, especially to Zayn and Niall.  
But he hasn’t.  
Did he know I was going to speak to them one by one?

When I got back home with the book in my bag, I left a message with Nick to tell him to come round to mine if he was free.  
He was probably on shift.  
I settled down with a cup of coffee in my study.  
The cover of the book was simple.  
It was a personalised Moleskine soft leather cover. The corners are little jaded from being thrown around in Liam’s messenger bag.  
There was no lock, just a simple elastic over the top and a photo of the five of them at Paul’s wedding.  
So dapper on paper, so wild in reality.  
The back has their “1D” logo on it.  
No one would have suspected it to be anything special.

I opened the front.  
It was filled with words, and little clips of lyrics.  
Some were used in songs, some obviously need more work on.

_They at it again._   
_They tried to tell us they were showering together because Harry was always getting shampoo in his eyes._   
_That’s a lot of bull._   
_No one helps me when I get shampoo in my eyes._   
_Niall_

_Oh my god I think I need to bleach my eyes._   
_From now on we get 4 rooms when we are in hotels._   
_One for Larry Stylinson, and the other rooms for the three of us because we never know if they’ll ended up in someone else’s room or not._   
_No more rotating roommates. I have seen and heard more than enough._   
_Zayn_

_No alcohol for Harry and Louis._   
_They become rabbits when they have alcohol in the system._   
_And I refuse to be in the same room as them._   
_Liam_

_There were a few more little paragraphs like that._   
_Then it was empty._   
_Until the middle of the book._   
_As if someone randomly opened it and started writing._

_No one knew when it started except for the two of them._   
_They have always been close, ever since we stood on the stage with Louis, Nicole and Simon in front of us, telling us we were to be in a boyband._   
_Even though we were all best friends, and we all share a very special bond, it has always been different with the two of them._   
_They were always more than friends._   
_It was like Katy Perry sang “My missing puzzle piece”._   
_There is no denying that both of them are extremely attractive._   
_And there is no denying that the moment their eyes met, they were drawn towards each other._   
_Maybe it really was just friendship at the beginning but sometime, somewhere, something changed._   
_None of us really paid much attention to the two of them, because they have always been close. Louis being the oldest and Harry being the youngest, it was natural for Louis to take care of Harry, and the five of us are probably the most touchy-feely guys. We are always touching and hugging. I love them all to bits, and they are like brothers to me, brothers that I always wanted._

_I realised how real their relationship was, the day when Harry fell seriously ill._   
_It was nothing like that flu he had when we were in the X-factor house._   
_Louis was panicking. Louis was never more than a step away from him and Niall and I had to take over some of the vocals at the show._   
_Zayn was ready to pick Harry up the moment if he fell over._   
_After the show, we were sitting in the dressing room waiting for the car to come pick us up for a well-deserved rest for the next two days, when Harry fainted in front of me and into my arms._   
_The next thing I know, Louis has picked Harry up and rushed him to the sofa._   
_I could still feel Harry’s heat on my arms._   
_Luckily the car came, and we carried Harry into the back, with his head lying on Louis lap. He was stroking Harry’s hair with one hand, and the other hand holding onto Harry’s hand tight._   
_“We’ll be home in no time my love, just hold on.” Louis whispered._   
_The three of us sat in front of them, and we looked at each other._   
_We kept the conversation going, and hope no one would notice what was happening right at the back._   
_It only took about 45 minutes for us to get to Harry’s, Louis took off with Harry when we got there._   
_We waited for him to get out of the house for 30 minutes._   
_He never made it back into the car._   
_Just as we were leaving, the light to Harry’s room was on and the curtains drawn._   
_There were two silhouettes, and they were hugging._   
_And kissing._

_The next day, even though we have nothing lined up, we decided to meet up at a nearby quiet coffee place. Harry was looking less pale, but Louis was looking tired._   
_Harry was still half asleep on Louis’ shoulder. Their legs were intertwined, and their bodies were pressed close to each other._   
_“Long night?” I asked. Louis nodded and smiled. “How’s Harry?”_   
_“He’s better. His temperature is gone, but he’s got no voice and he has no energy.” Louis said, rubbing soothing circle on Harry’s back and he snuggled closer to Louis._   
_As if they could get any closer._   
_“You look like shit.” Zayn said._   
_“Thanks.” Louis deadpanned._   
_“Breakfast?”_   
_And just like that, we were back to normal._

_“You two, you have to stop with the jokes about you two dating each other.” I said when we were sitting in front of the bonfire at Harry’s dad’s bungalow._   
_“What are you talking about?” Harry asked._   
_“Management.” Louis said. “I was warned and then told to stop joking about us dating.”_   
_Harry shifted slightly on Louis lap and made himself more comfortable. Louis draped his arm round Harry’s middle and planted a kiss on the top of his curls._   
_“Are you two dating?” Niall asked._   
_Always subtle._   
_Louis and Harry looked at each other._   
_“Does it make a different?” Louis asked. “We are close. We are all close. We are friends. We are all friends. We are all going to be together for a very long time.”_   
_“You’re right. We are going to be together for a very long time. And that’s why we need to know.” I said. The other two guys nodded in agreement. We have all seen enough. “We want to be able to help you if anything goes wrong. We want to be able to know what to say when we were questioned about you two. If we can agree on the official statement when we get asked ‘are Harry and Louis dating’ or ‘are the two of them together’ or anything along that line.”_   
_“Does it really make a different?” Harry asked._   
_“Only if you are not!” Niall said._   
_We all laughed._   
_“That it doesn’t matter.” Louis said, nuzzling Harry’s hair._   
_“We are here for you.” I said and hugged the two of them from the back._   
_“GROUP HUG!” Zayn shouted._

The doorbell rang. I ignored it.  
Then the front door open and I assumed Nick has let himself in.  
I heard him calling my name.  
I heard him coming into the study.  
I wasn’t sure at what point I started crying.  
He hugged me from behind and kissed the top of my head.  
“What’s wrong?” he asked. I shook my head as he pulled me to the sitting room and sat me down.  
He went and got me a drink, sat down and pulled me onto his lap.  
“Larry Stylinson is out.” I said and told him about Harry and Louis.  
How the boys wanted to protect them for as long as they can.  
When I finished, Nick wrapped his arms round me as I buried my head on his chest.  
“They’ve been through a lot.” He said as he rubbed my back. “They trust you enough to share the ‘real One Direction’ with you. “Have you heard from them today?” I shook my head. “They are probably waiting for you to do something about them. Probably sitting together waiting for Modest to kick their asses.” He said and planted another kiss on my forehead. “Clean up. You have a battle to fight. For them and with them.”  
He dried my tears on his sleeves and put me to bed.  
“I’ll always be here with you. Every step on the way.” I snuggled closer to Nick.  
I know there’s a battle to fight. I would love to fight for them, but it wasn’t my battle, but I was damn sure I would be right there with them fighting.  
Give them all the support they need.

The next morning, Nick was cuddling me with his arms wrapped round me tightly, still asleep, still in the same clothes he was wearing the night before. I snuggled closer and planted a kiss on his temple.  
“Thank you.” I whispered.

Sitting in the recording studio the next week, for once they were all there already before me. The boys must have gotten there to talk about what I told them, and trying to match up the story. Good thing I have learnt first hand from my useless ex-manager that giving different information to people who talk frequently was a stupid move. It seemed “Larry” was holding out on me when I got there. They weren’t sitting together, in fact they were miles away.  
By their body language said something completely opposite.  
Their body was mirroring each other.  
It was as if there were invisible strings holding them together. They move together like two puppets joint together.  
“Excuse me guys, can you all clear out? I want to have a few minutes with the boys. On my own.” I said.  
The whole room shuffled around, and it was just the six of us left in the room.  
“So?” Liam asked.  
“So.” I said. “I don’t know what management has in their plans. But I am telling you guys right now that they are onto you.” I pointed at Harry and Louis. “But I am on your side. I’ll listen to anything you all day, useless or not, and I promise to keep all your secrets. You can trust me. I know you guys always have some doubt, but there’s nothing to be worried okay? It’s us against the world. I am here for you, as much as Niall, Liam and Zayn are. You are like my baby brothers, and it is my job to take care of you all. Every single one of you.”  
Louis was the first one to move. He came and hugged me, and dragged Harry with him. Harry also wrapped one of his arms round me and the other one still holding onto Louis. Liam, Niall and Zayn all joined in.  
“I mean it. Even if it means I have to defend Niall in court because he decided to sexually harass a poor girl. Or if Zayn wanted to spray paint some random historical wall. Or Harry was talking too slowly and someone misunderstood what he said. Or Louis sass-ed someone. Or Liam decided to baby someone too much.” I said. They all laughed. “Guys, hugs are great - but keep off my ass.”  
“Not sorry. Still not sorry.” Niall said. They all planted a kiss on my cheek.  
“Thank you Gaga.” Harry said.  
That was the first time he called me Gaga.


	11. March

I never wanted to use the spare key the boys gave me to their flats.  
They gave me the keys because they were all prone to lose them. Since I only live a few miles away from them (a tube journey away), and I am supposedly the responsible one, I was the good choice for them to leave with their spare key.  
Also their last manager used to keep a set of their keys, and I just inherited them.  
The night before, Louis was on his own in the flat, as he weren’t feeling great.   
Everybody fancied going out that evening after, but Louis just weren’t up for it.  
They weren’t as hostile as they were six months ago – but six months ago I also helped them to cover out a night out that they weren’t supposed to be at.   
And most of all, it took nearly a whole year for Harry to warm up to me, and I didn’t want to violate the relationship we have finally established.   
I dropped Louis back at his place and then went home after dinner, and the rest of them went out, even though Liam - bless him - weren’t going to drink too much because his kidney was playing up recently.  
I told them to call me if they wanted to be picked up.  
And I said it over and over again, to the point where Niall was calling me an old lady, but there was a bad feeling in my gut.  
Should have trusted it and locked them all in my place.  
Something went wrong whilst they were out.  
Again.  
Only this time was a lot more serious.  
The irony.  
I didn’t know anything until my phone beeped at me.  
The next day.  
Nick sent me a photo message.  
It was a front page cover story on the newspaper.   
Harry in a rather compromised position with Kendall Jenner.   
My phone was exploding, most of them were from the boys.  
None of them was from Louis.  
Harry was nearly in a state of panic attack.  
Everybody was shocked.  
I was shocked too.  
This time round they know they needed to stick together, so when I called Liam, he was with Zayn, Harry and Niall, all at his place. I told them to head down to mine (because no one would suspect anything and it is a safe place for them all to go to avoid the paparazzi), and the concierge knew them all now and let them have the keys, with or without me letting them know.  
I drove over to Friern Barnet as fast as I could and rang the doorbell.  
No one answered. I sighed and pull out the spare key and unlocked the door.   
Louis was sitting on the sofa, still in his onesie and a mug of tea.  
And two days’ worth of stubbles.  
I sat down next to him and wrap an arm round his shoulder.  
“Everything will be fine.” I said and planted a kiss on his head.   
Really, they are all too big for me to baby them.  
“I am glad you are here.” Louis said and rested his head on my shoulder.  
“You alright?” I asked.   
He didn’t say anything. The two of us just sat there. The boys texted me and said they were at mine. I didn’t need to tell them to make themselves at home.  
They have been to my place enough times and knew they could do whatever they want at my place.  
Their safest place to hide.  
“Harry and I never promised each other forever.” Louis said. “We can’t afford promises.”  
“Oh Tommo, you knew it’s not real; whoever it is Harry was with last night.” I said. “You guys are living together. You have been together since the beginning.” I ran my hand through his messy hair and planted a kiss on his forehead. “You don’t need promises. Being with each other was enough. And the matching tattoos. Do you not think that’s enough?”  
“Gaga, you don’t understand - we don’t have a future together. We are constantly being watched, it was difficult enough when we decided we would move in together.”  
“You aren’t going to give up, are you?”   
“I can’t, but maybe I should.” He said. I slapped him round his head. “Ouch! What’s that for?!”  
“Stop talking bullshit. If the boys or Anne and your mum or your sisters or god forbid Gemma doesn’t kill you quick enough, I’ll do it myself. Giving up on Harry is like giving up part of you. You two are a package deal. Everybody might not acknowledge it, but they know it.” I said. “Go make yourself presentable, at least presentable enough for us and come over to mine - I draw the line with onesie because you look cuter than I do. The boys are already there; come over when you’re ready.”

I got back to my place, and all four of them were in my sitting room. From what I could see, they have cleaned out my cupboard and my fridge.   
I should have expected that when I called them ‘my baby brothers’. I pulled out my phone to the local Chinese and ordered nearly everything on the menu.  
Harry was on the sofa, with Niall and Liam on either side of him, and Zayn was sitting on the floor. I pushed the coffee table away from the sofa and joined Zayn in front of Harry. Just as I was settled on the floor, all of them besides Harry started talking.   
“We were with Harry the whole times last night...”  
“She came towards us...”  
“We were only there for a few minutes...”  
“...stayed at mine last night because he didn’t have his keys and Lou wasn’t feeling...”  
“...left together, but Harry got pull back...”   
“...came out of nowhere...”  
“...slipped between me and Harry...”  
I put both of my arms out and stopped them talking. They all quietened down. I reached up and patted Harry on his knee.  
“How you holding up Hazza?” I asked.   
“I didn’t... I wasn’t with...” Harry said, but his sobs were getting the best of him and he started crying again on Niall’s shoulder.   
I let him cry. It was always better out than in.  
“I am sorry!”   
My poor Harry.  
“It’s okay Curly, you didn’t do anything wrong.” I said. Then my doorbell rang.   
“Miss. Zawada? Your Chinese food is here.”  
“I’ve got it.” I heard Louis’ voice from the intercom.   
“Come on up.” I said and buzzed Louis through.   
He obviously cleaned himself up after I left and didn’t go back to bed like I told him to, and probably drove like a maniac to get to mine. He walked out of the lift, clothes hastily thrown on, and his hair still wet from his shower.   
And he hasn’t shaved.  
When he walked in, he threw his arms round me, still holding onto the Chinese.   
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He said, and then walked into the kitchen and put down all the food. The rest of the boys walked towards the kitchen.  
They all hugged Louis and patted him on his shoulder.  
Harry stood at the back of the crowd, wasn’t quite sure what to do. I gave Harry a gentle shove towards Louis and the two of them was smashed together.  
“I am so sorry.” Harry said.   
“It’s okay Hazza. It’s okay. We’ll get through this together.” Louis answered.   
Niall filled up the kettle and pulled out six mugs. Zayn threw teabags in five of the mugs and then coffee into another one. I gave him a thumbs-up and Liam was already pulling the milk out of my fridge.  
Harry took some cutlery out from my drawers, and Louis took some plates out.  
The five of them were moving around my kitchen as if they have been living here for years.  
I was sitting at the kitchen counter, and a thought suddenly hit me.   
The boys mentioned before to me what happened when someone first got photo of Perrie and Zayn together.  
All of them were on his ass within minutes of the photos being published.  
Until Zayn and Perrie shown that they were for real, management were constantly on their asses - it made it worse because both of them were with Modest.  
When the photo of Liam and Sophia first surfaced, he had the same problem.   
Luckily Sophia wasn’t in the limelight and the girl has an uncanny ability to blend into the crowd and the crew well enough to avoid cameras.  
Management hasn’t called.  
Nor has Simon.  
Simon wouldn’t be someone to do this to the boys.  
Simon loves the boys.  
I pulled out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my contact list until I find the one I want.  
“Guys, start without me.” I said and hit dial on the number. “I have to make a call.”  
“Simon?” Liam asked, handed me my coffee. I shook my head and took the coffee.   
“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I said and went into my bedroom.  
“This is Hyoga.” I said when someone picked up.   
“It’s Richard and Harry. You are on speakerphone.” Harry said.  
My biggest nightmare.  
If Will has picked up, I would have talked to him properly.  
Simon has put me in charge of the boys, but at the end of the day, their management was still with Modest Management.  
“Sirs.” I said.   
I still have to be polite, even though they weren’t my biggest fan.  
“You are calling about Kendall, I presume?” Richard asked. “Tell Tomlinson and Styles they are moving out and they will no longer be living together.”  
“No.” I said. “You set Harry up.”  
“How did you figure out?” Harry asked.   
“It doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with this.” I said. “You know the boys react better when you talk to them properly. You are just pushing them further and further away.”  
“Do you think I have enough time... do you think WE have enough time to give special treatment to every single one of the artists?” Harry asked again.  
“No you don’t. But it is my job to look after the boys. You are not going to treat the boys this way.” I said.   
“We don’t care.” Richard said.   
“Then I am going to make the decision for them - I will be terminating their contract early with Modest. They are due to renew their management contract in February next year.” I said. “Thank you for your service but we no longer will be needing it.”  
“That will be a breach of contract and we will sue you.” Richard said, I could hear him flicking through some paperwork. “It is stated in their contact that there will be no early termination. No matter how much the boys love you, no matter how clever you are and how much Simon thinks highly of you, you are going to lose this.”   
“Aren’t you going to talk to Simon about this first? This is not your choice to make.” Harry said.   
“Simon will let the boys do what they decided, and I am with the boys all the way. I look forward to receiving a letter from your lawyer.” I said.  
Damn mobile phones.   
I couldn’t slam the phone, so I just angrily press the “end” button on my iPhone.

I have made a choice.   
I just hope the boys agreed with me.

I went back to the kitchen, and the boys were close to clearing out all the food I ordered, but they have saved some food on a separate plate for me.  
“Boys, eat up.” I said. “I might have made a bad decision on your behalf, and I don’t want to talk to you guys about it until you have no chopsticks or knife and fork in your hand. God knows how much damage can be done with cutlery.”   
They all looked at me, then all of them got back to their food.   
I took the plate of food and started eating, but I found it hard to stomach the food; after all it was only about 5 minutes ago when I chose a path for the boys that they might or might not be impressed with.  
“Gaga, we trust you.” Niall said.   
“Whatever decision you have made on our behalf is going to be fine. Stop fretting.” Zayn said.   
After we finished all the food and Harry the domestic god cleared all the plates and cutlery into the dishwasher, I ushered them into the sitting room with their mugs of tea.   
Harry and Louis took the three seater, Niall and Zayn sat on the floor and Liam joined me on the coffee table.  
I told them the conversation I had with Richard and Harry.   
I told them exactly what I said to the two of them.  
I was waiting for the tea to be poured over my head.  
I was waiting for them to scream at me.   
I was waiting for them to walk out on me.   
I was waiting for someone to punch me (Liam probably, who has been boxing), and I was all ready to block the punch and just hoped the he wouldn’t cause too much damage on me.   
The worst scenario in my head was them screaming how I have betrayed their trust and that they were to fire me, just like their last manager and that they refuse to see me again.  
I was about to lose my five little brothers.  
But it was nothing as I expected.   
Next thing I know Liam has wrapped his arms round me and flew towards Harry and Louis, and the three of them has launched themselves on top of me.  
All I could hear was every single one of them saying ‘thank you’ over and over again to me.  
“Hold on hold on hold on guys!” I said, trying to get up from Harry and Louis’ lap, and also trying to release myself from the arms of Zayn, Niall and Liam. “Off my beautiful ass Niall Horan!”   
Zayn, Niall and Liam got off me first and then get themselves onto the three seater. I stayed on their laps and I turned to look at the boys.  
“Thank you.” Louis said, bent down and planted a massive kiss on my forehead. “You’ve done what our last manager refused to do.” I looked at them.   
“Stood up and take responsibility. Of us. And at the same time, be our friend and be someone that we can rely on.” Liam said.   
“So what is our plan now?” Harry asked.   
“Wait for the letter, I guess.” Zayn said.   
“No. We are going to start preparing ourselves.” I said and got up, and Niall screamed in pain. “Sorry, beautiful ass still has Ischium and it wasn’t very nice when I put the pressure on your Femur.”   
“I love it when you talk dirty.” Niall said. 

They were called into Modest the next day.  
I was called into Syco the next day - not by Simon, but Syco.  
They knew what they were being told.  
I knew what I was being told.  
All six of us have aligned on what we needed to say.  
Everything has to be in line, in case anything was being used in court.  
I shot them all a text and tell them to meet me in my office when we all finished.   
By the time it was just after midday, I went to pick up some KFC for the guys when they arrived.  
They have the ability to turn up the moment I have food in my office.  
I was just about to sit down on my chair, my door burst open and the five of them ran in.  
Harry shut the door and Zayn drew all the blinds.  
Liam and Niall went for the chicken and Louis hugged me.  
“Worst meeting. Ever.” Niall said with a mouthful of chicken. I threw some fries at him.   
“Shut your trap when you’re eating Horan.” I said. Niall, Liam and Harry were on the sofa, Zayn has one of the visitor’s chair turned to face the group. Louis and I sat down on the floor, him between Harry’s legs and me next to him.  
“How bad was your meeting?” Liam asked.  
“The right etiquette is actually ‘How was your meeting’ but your question will do.” I said. “Let’s just say Syco aren’t too happy with the decision that I made.”  
“We.” Harry said. I turned and looked at him. “We made the decision together.” I smiled and patted him on his knee, leaving a greasy finer stain on his khaki trousers. Zayn pulled out a piece of paper from his back pocket.   
“Our official letters from Modest’s lawyer.” There are doodles everywhere. I raised an eyebrow. “It was a boring meeting!”  
“I hope there is a clean one somewhere, because you just tempered with the evidence.” I said and pointed at Zayn. “And you young man, should not be allow to have a pen in any meetings.”   
“Would it helped if I say we have been given five copies of the same letter, they are exactly the same?” Liam asked. I looked at the doodled version. “Would it helped if I say we have been given five copies of the same letter, they are exactly the same?” Liam asked. I looked at the doodled version.  
The letter was addressed to ‘One Direction’.   
They couldn’t even bother to type the names?  
“Do you guys not have individual contract?” I asked. They all looked at each other and shook their heads. “Is that a ‘don’t know’ or a ‘no we don’t’?”  
“Don’t know.” Liam answered.  
“Interesting...”  
“Why?”  
Just as I was about to say something, someone knocked on my door and within seconds, it opened.  
It could only be Simon.   
When he walked in, the boys weren’t as excited as they should have been.  
They probably didn’t know what reaction to give him.  
He looked at us, then the bucket of KFC sitting on the coffee table.  
“My office when you finish.” Simon said. We all nodded. “Only Hyoga.”  
“I’ll come now.” I said and stood up. The boys all crossed their fingers at me.   
“GANBATTE ONESAN!” Harry said. I smiled.  
When they went to Japan last, they didn’t pick up any Japanese except for ‘ganbaremasu’. I laughed at him and had to actually teach them how to use the word.  
I smiled and did a downward fish pump and mouthed ‘ganbaremasu’ back.

I followed Simon back to his office. He sat down on the sofa, so I took the single seater.  
“The boys are very fond of you.” He said. “And to be honest, I have been very fond of you and I am very impressed with your work ethics.” Then he looked me in the eye. “I weren’t surprised about the choice you have made. But you do realise you have made a choice for the boys...”  
“We made the decision together.” I said.   
“Richard and Harry didn’t think so. They were on the phone to you only, were they not?”   
“Yes. They were on the phone with me and only me. But the decision to fight back against Modest was a decision that we -as in the boys and me- made together.”  
“Fine. I see what you mean.” He said. “But nonetheless, this choice has been made, and you should be expecting any consequences coming your way.” I nodded. “If it’s a choice to protect the boys or you, you know I’d protect them.”  
“Simon, with all due respect - I will protect the boys for as long as I can, even if it means I’ll lose my job. And I love this job very much.” I said.  
“You do know Modest is not an easy opponent. They have the resources and the money. They can push the boys all the way up there, they can bring the boys all the way down again. How are you going to explain that to the boys?”  
“I don’t have to - they already know.” I said and stood up. “Simon, I appreciate your concern, but whatever brought this on? It’s been going on for a while. The boys have been unhappy with Modest for a while but no one picked it up. When I finally did, it seemed too late. Do you know how broken they were, when they sat in my sitting room last night? Time and time again Modest has failed them, and I have only seen the tip of the iceberg because I have only been on this job for the last 14 months. I am worried about them - one day they might not bounce back. I don’t want that day to come.”  
“Just remember. You are responsible for the decision that was made.” He sighed and nodded at me.   
“Am I... fired?”  
“God no. I haven’t had the boys behaved so well and you are so good with this job. They love you to bits and I know you wouldn’t let them down. If I fired you, they will fall apart. You’re like their uncredited sixth member of the group.” He said. “Just... take as much time off as you need to do whatever you need to do. There will be more work for you because you’d also be in charge of updating their official website, and keep an eye on what they would be saying on the twitter account.”   
“Thank you.” I said.   
“And as for the boys...”  
“I’ll keep them busy. Their schedule is full for the next seven months. Until this is completely over, they are still my responsibility.”

I went back to my office and the boys were still eating. They all looked at me as I walked through the door, locked it and took the same position from where I got up.   
Even Niall stopped eating.  
I told them what Simon said.   
They nodded along the way, and I even thought at one point when I was talking, they weren’t really listening because they were never this quiet.  
“Change your passwords on Twitter guys; you’re on your own now.” I said. “And I wouldn’t have time to look and check exactly what you guys have said because I have to update your website from now on as well as take care of your jobs, so please please please be good?”   
They all smiled and put their right hand on their heart.  
“We promise.” They shouted.   
Then my phone rang.  
“Oh it’s Nicky.” Louis said. “It rang when you left the office. I picked it up and told him to call you back in about 15 minutes.”   
I picked up the phone.  
“Nicky?”  
“Did I hear the ever so controversial Hyoga Zawada is going against a Celebrity Management Company?”   
I glared at Louis.  
“Sorry!” He mouthed.   
“I am sure you called me earlier for a different reason?”   
“Oh yes.” He said. “I called to see what time to pick you up tonight. But with everything happened yesterday, can you still make it tonight for the show?”   
“Sure.” I said.   
“Alright - meet you at six.”  
“Sounds perfect. See you tonight.”  
“Bye, love you Bun.”  
“Love you Hare.”   
“Love you Hare!” Niall mocked. “Are you sure you guys are not together?”  
“I am about 300% sure we are not together.” I said. “He’s my best friend.”


	12. April

We had plans.  
When we talked about terminating the contract, Louis and Harry wanted the world to know about their relationship.  
The boys nodded in agreement.  
“What about Eleanor?” I asked. “I know it wasn’t real between you guys, but do you want to destroy the poor girl’s life?”   
“To be honest? I really don’t care...” Louis said. “She’s a great person, but I am more concern about myself right now. Call me selfish, but Harry and I have hid for long enough already. If I had a choice I would turn back time and tell the world the moment we left X-factor. In fact, I would tell the world the moment Simon told us we’re through.”   
“I understand what Gaga is worrying though.” Liam said, and Harry nodded.   
“We shouldn’t be destroying people’s lives.” Harry said.  
“Have many people have destroyed OUR lives?” Louis asked.  
“How many people work for Modest?” I smirked.   
“Maybe ask Eleanor to make the statement?” Liam asked. I shook my head.  
“The timing is too perfect. Eleanor made a statement about her and Louis, the termination of contract statement... and Haz and Lou come out of the closet.” I said.   
Part of me wanted to make everything a silent statement.  
Just one simple statement that the boys are terminating their contact with Modest Management and ad interim, I will act as their management and publicist in every aspect of their career.  
My details can be find on their website, under contact us.  
The fans would understand straight away what happened.  
And to the boys, the fans are the ones that mattered the most.  
But that wouldn’t sit well with Syco and Modest as a business.

And Eleanor.  
It just seemed like no matter what we were about to do, Eleanor would be on the losing end. 

I have never been on tour with the boys for a long period of time.  
But this time I did.   
I needed to be close to them, as much as they needed to be close to me.  
We needed to make sure Modest wouldn’t be spreading rumours and giving us different information to pull us apart.  
Not that this trick would actually work – the six of us are tight enough to trust each other.  
Modest would probably lose majority of their business without One Direction.   
I was their liability.  
The boys weren’t as playful as they used to be this time around.  
Even Paul was finding it difficult to believe the fact that they weren’t golf buggy racing and skate boarding around the venue before a show.  
Instead, we sat together in their dressing room, writing their statement of terminating their contract with Modest.   
I was writing, they were dressed and ready to go.  
Liam and Niall doing press-ups in the corner. Louis was throwing a football around and Zayn and Harry was bouncing on the ball of their feet.   
“This is worst that writing my Ph.D. thesis.” I said, deleting another paragraph off my laptop.   
“Show in 5!” Paul shouted.  
“Alright guys, get ready to go.” I said, looking up from the screen, stood up and stretched.   
“Love you Gaga!” They shouted, planting a kiss on my cheek on their way up towards the stage. Niall added an extra smack on my butt.  
“Get off it Horan!” I shouted.   
As they jumped onto the stage, I let out a breath that I didn’t realise I was holding.   
I pulled out my phone and pulled out Eleanor’s number.  
I toyed with the number on my screen.  
I have the number for a while now - Simon gave it to me, and winked.

“You might need it some time. She knows about you.” 

Simon had said.  
Of course I haven’t dialled that number ever.  
I didn’t need to.  
What’s between Louis and Eleanor got nothing to do with me, it was all Modest.  
I have seen how depressed Harry was when he saw them in public.  
Harry was always close by.  
I never understand why he wanted to put himself through that pain.  
I was tempted to call Eleanor, but not behind Louis’ back.   
I put my phone away and then went back to the statement.

I was humming along to the songs and laughing at the jokes that the boys were making on stage.   
After a while, I noticed something was off.  
The boys and I have been getting on so well recently I was so much in tune with them.  
First it sounded like Niall was singing Harry’s line.  
There was a little sniffle that was disguised as a cough.  
Something must have happened when they were doing the chats in between.  
They boys were all making awful jokes (as usual) but I couldn’t hear Harry’s laugh, or Harry’s voice.  
It was hard to not notice it, Louis once said Harry was one of the most morbid speakers that he knew of.  
I sighed and went out to the back of the stadium for some fresh air. Paul looked at me.   
“Waiting for the show to finish?” Paul asked. I nodded.  
“They are about to finished, I’m just going to go and grab them some food.” I said. “Do you know where is the closest KFC? Or Nando’s?”  
“There’s a Nando’s round the corner from the Stadium, about half a mile away.” Paul said. “Do you want me to call you a cab?” I shook my head.   
“I’ll take a walk. I need some fresh air.” 

The show finished just as I got back from Nando’s. I ordered everything the boys want and more.  
Just in case.  
Harry looked upset.   
Louis has his arm wrapped round his shoulders.   
I stood up and walked towards the five of them.  
I opened up my arms and the five of them piled into a group hug.  
No matter how much I hate the smell of sweat and the sticky feeling on skin, I couldn’t not hug them.  
They looked like they needed it - especially Harry.   
I planted a kiss on his forehead.  
I could taste the saltiness from his sweat on my lips.  
“I’m right here Hazza. Right here. We’re all right here.” I said. He nodded and took a step back.  
Harry pulled out his phone from his pocket and handed over his phone to Louis, and then picked up his bag and gave it to Louis too.  
“We’re gonna go wash on the tour bus.” Louis said, handed over Harry’s bag and phone to me and followed him.  
“What happened?” I asked, rubbing my temple.  
Between dealing with a statement for one of the biggest boyband in the world as their manager and publicist or a teenage male, I definitely prefer to deal with a teen male.  
“Harry choked.” Zayn said. “There was a sign in the crowd.”   
“A sign.” I repeated. They nodded at me.   
“It said ‘Harry you are shit’.” Zayn said.   
“Not just one, but a whole bunch of them. ‘Harry you don’t belong in 1D’, ‘Harry you aren’t good enough for 1D’.” Niall said. “Louis noticed something was wrong with Harry half way through ‘Over Again’ but it was a little bit too late.”   
“Why do this people pay for the tickets and then come in just to say something like this is beyond me.” Liam said.   
“I got food from Nando’s.” I said. “Let’s meet on the bus. We’re leaving in a bit anyway.” 

When we got onto the bus Louis and Harry were already cuddling in the common area.  
Harry was stretched out and his head was on Louis’ lap and he was unconsciously playing with Harry’s wet curls and humming some sort of tune.  
The rest of the boys put the Nando’s down on the table, and they all sat down together.  
Liam patted Harry’s legs, he swung them up and Liam set next to him before Harry put his legs onto Liam’s lap.  
Zayn ruffled Harry’s hair and sat down on the other side with Niall. Harry looked up and tried to offer Zayn a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. I grabbed one of the cushions and sat down on the floor facing all of them.  
“How you feeling Hazza?” I asked. He shrugged. “Food makes you feel better.”   
“Food always makes you feel better.” Niall said.   
“Mango and lime.” I said and gave him his wrap. “With cheese and pineapple.”  
He sat up and slumped on Louis’ shoulder.   
“Eat up, you’re a growing boy.” I said.  
The six of us ate quietly, all waiting for Harry to be more comfortable to talk or just to say anything.  
Harry was nibbling on his wrap. Louis fed him a bit of his mash, and he opened his mouth obediently.   
Eventually when Louis finished eating, and he could see Harry weren’t even half way through his wrap. He took it from his hand and started to feed him little by little.  
I was about to give up when we were finishing and go back to the bloody statement when Harry took the last bite.  
“I sounded awful.” He mumbled.   
“What are you talking about?” Louis said. “You sounded like you always do!”  
“They were right, I don’t belong here. Not with you guys.” He said quietly. “I am not good enough.”  
“You are good enough. You are more than enough.” Zayn said.   
“And we are not 1D without you.” Liam said.  
“Why do they say those horrible things to me?” Harry asked, sounded like a little boy trying to understand.  
“They are jealous of you.” Louis said and reached to brush his bangs away from his face. “They are scared too, because you are so perfect.”  
“I’m not.”   
“You definitely aren’t perfect mate...” Louis threw Liam a look as if saying ‘why are you saying that to my baby and why would you do this to me’. “...but you belong here with us.” Liam finished his sentence. He glared at Louis, pretty much saying ‘you should have let me finished my bloody sentence first before you react, you overprotective possessive boyfriend’.   
“One Direction won’t be One Direction without any of you guys.” I said and reached out to pat him on the knee. “There’s a reason why Simon put you all together.”

I finally understood why Louis took Harry’s phone away from him after a show for the rest of the evening and hid it somewhere he wouldn’t know.  
Not just his phone - his iPad, his computer, his 3DS and anything that give him access to the Internet.  
Harry wouldn’t get his phone back until the morning.  
He gave the phone to me once, and told me under no circumstances should get back to Harry until he ask for it.  
Anne, Robin and Gemma all know about it and if there would be any emergency, they knew to call Louis or Liam.  
Or even me - as long as it’s not Harry’s phone.  
Harry was such a perfectionist to the point where he actively seek out tweets and Facebook messages and Tumblr posts and read what negative things people have to say about him.  
Hence all digital devices are removed from him the moment they finished a show.


	13. May

May  
Somewhere, someone must have found out because just about as we were about to release our statement, Modest made a statement on their website regarding the gossips on One Direction leaving Modest! Management.  
I didn’t see it first of course, I was too busy trying to perfect the statement.  
Nick sent it to all of us, probably worried if one of us weren’t looking at the phone and we’d be able to let the others know.  
All our phones beeped at the same time, and automatically, we pulled it out and clicked onto the link Nick has sent.

_Following erroneous and misleading published and broadcast news reports on Modest! Management, the following statement was issued by Modest! Management:_

_“Though much has been made of the pending litigation between members of One Direction and Modest! Management, Modest! Management feels strongly that they are a family. This litigation represents what can best be described as a family disagreement.  
Modest! Management is proud of the Boys’ talent and their much-deserved success, including their recent achievements, and looks forward to a long association and even greater accomplishments in the future.”_

_One Direction is a chart topping, international singing sensation. Its five members are Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson._

“Shit.” The boys and I all said at the same time.  
“Tumblr is exploding.” Liam said.  
“So is Twitter.” Harry said.  
“Harry Edward Styles, stay off that blood toxic social media unless you are posting x-rated photos of your relationship with your left and right hand.” I said, knowing exactly how he has reacted previously when he was told he weren’t good enough.  
They laughed at what I said as I opened their official website and logged in as the web administrator.  
“What are you doing now?” Liam asked as my finger flying over the keyboard.  
“Posting the statement.” I said.  
“I thought you’re still finalising it?” Zayn asked.  
“It’s not going to get any better, the more I look at it the more likely it’s actually gonna be worse. I need the statement to simple clean and crisp.” I said. “Please can you guys put the link on your twitter when I finished with it?”  
“The power of the fans.” Louis said. “You are one evil bitch.”  
“Why do you think Simon give me the job?” I smirked.

_One Direction (also known as 1D), issues this statement below after Modest! Management has issued their statement on 15th June via their official website:_

_“After the statement issued by Modest! Management on 15th June on their official website, One Direction would like to confirm they will be terminating their management contract with Modest! Management with immediate effect. Ad interim, One Direction’s current manager, Miss. Hyoga Zawada from Syco Entertainment will remain their manager an publicist, and will continue to work with One Direction until a new contract is signed with another Management company. One Direction would like to thank Modest! Management for their work that has been done so far, and wishes them the best in their future. For any further information, please contact: Hyoga Zawada, Syco Entertainment. The statement from Modest! Management can be found here.”_

“Cat’s out of the bag.” I said as I hit the save and update button on my screen. Then I sent the link to the boys and Nick. “Anybody wants to play ‘How long would it take to go viral’?”

The moment the boys posted that link on their Twitter and I updated their official website, it only took 6 minutes for #1DleftMM to be one of the top ten trending tag on twitter. My mobile was ringing non-stop.  
The boys’ mobile were ringing non-stop.  
We were screening all our calls and eventually (after talking to their parents) they turned their phones off.

The next day, I received an email from Modest.  
It was a warning, telling me that they were sending an official letter to sue me for terminating the management contract with One Direction on their behalf.  
I printed that email out and played darts with it.  
I asked Nick to check my post for me whilst I was on tour with the boys.

But nothing came.  
I waited and waited an email or a text or a call from Nick, telling me Modest was going to sue me.  
The boys were waiting and waiting too, but the only letter they received was the one they were given right at the beginning.  
The one that Zayn has doodled all over.  
I tried not to be on edge whilst I was with the boys; it was easy when we were all hanging out together and discussing about everything and anything except for Modest.  
I was working extra hard because where there used to be Modest handing a lot of the work, it was only me now.  
After the statement came out, Paul, his team and Lou were the first people to quit their job at Modest and decided to work freelance with the boys.  
Paul has been a god’s gift, who helped me as much as he could and left me enough time to deal with all the management side of things whilst we were on tour.  
He was becoming like my dad as much as he was a dad to the guys.

We have been travelling and sleeping on the tour bus whilst travelling through the States, and that was one of the first nights that we were in a proper hotel.  
I never had a sleeping habit from working shifts in hospitals, and I never really pay much attention to the amount of sleep that I actually needed.  
Liam has found me over and over again sitting in the common area on the tour bus on the computer sorting out their jobs.  
In the middle of the night.  
Because I couldn’t sleep – I was waiting for something from Modest.  
Since then, when we stay in a hotel, they would keep me in their suites, just to make sure I’d be getting some sort of sleep.  
The boys and I decided to watch the Fast and Furious movies back to back.  
Until one by one they fell asleep.  
I needed to stretch out, I was finding it slightly claustrophobic too with so many of them crowded round me.  
So I made my way down to reception with my iPad.  
I didn’t know how long I was sitting down at reception, but when I looked up, Paul was standing over me.  
“What are you doing in reception at half past three in the morning?” He asked.  
“The boys fell asleep whilst we were watching back to back Fast and Furious.” I smiled.  
“Well you should be too.” He said and took my iPad from my hands.  
“I needed to stretch a little bit.”  
“No you don’t.”  
“I don’t want to wake them up if they hear me on my iPad or laptop.”  
“Go and cuddle up with the pain the asses. If you weren’t there when they wake up, they’ll start to freak. God knows how many times I have to keep them away from your bed or your room just so they won’t knock it down because they kept worrying that that you’d leave them.” I sighed, knowing that it would be one of those arguments I wouldn’t win.  
“Night ‘Dad’.” I smiled.  
“Sleep well.”

I went back up the room and truth behold, none of them has moved from their spot.  
There was still a space between Niall and Harry, where I was before I went down to reception. Louis was spooning Harry. Liam’s head still rested on Louis’ hip and sprawled across the top of everybody’s legs and Zayn was still sleeping at the foot of the bed.  
I slowly crawled my way back to the little space, and snuggled onto the side of Niall. He moved and moulded his head onto my neck.  
“Thank you Gaga.” Niall said. “We love you.”  
“I love you guys too.” I said and patted his hair.


	14. June

When Louis handed me an envelope, he has a smirk on his face.   
“Game on Saturday.” He said. The other four of them looked as if they couldn’t contain a smile on their face either.   
Their smile was too bright.  
“Lou’s playing.” Harry added.  
“And Niall is not going to be a traitor and cheer for Louis.” Zayn said. 

Football.  
I was never a massive football fan.  
I think it just doesn’t make sense, when 22 people are chasing 1 ball on the court.  
When there were already 44 balls on the court, minus the referees.  
Hahaha.  
Unfortunately, football was probably one of the biggest things in One Direction.   
And when Derby was playing Doncaster, there was no way round it.  
Niall wanted to watch Derby and Louis wanted to play.  
Louis was away so much he hardly ever got to play, so whenever he was in England and Doncaster was playing, he was pretty much guarantee a spot on the team.  
And for One Direction, Louis playing for Doncaster was a MASSIVE thing.  
“Thanks Lou Bear!” I said with false excitement (hoping my excitement would fool them – and thank goodness it did) and opened the envelope.  
There were two tickets in there.  
“For you and guest.” Louis said.  
“Nicky... perhaps?” Liam added and they burst into laughter.  
“He said he’s got a day off that weekend.” Niall said.   
“He knew already.” They nodded. “And he already said he’s coming.” They nodded again. “I hate you all right now. I am going to poison you one by one and you won’t even know what killed you.”  
“Gaga, talk dirty to me!” Niall said and wrapped his arms round me. I tried to free myself but I couldn’t. He was too strong for me.  
“Stupid boys with strange non-human strength!” I shouted.  
To be honest, it was a miracle I have somehow managed to not watch a football game for a whole year since I become their manager.  
So I have to sit through at least one game without falling asleep and playing with my phone.  
I watched the World Cup religiously, so at least I was familiar with the rules, and which side the ball needed to go in.

I juggled their schedule round to make sure Louis would be in England for the week prior to the game.  
He spent most of his free time on tour playing football anyway, so when he was back in training he should be able to get back into it very quickly.   
The boys were all grateful - because when Louis was at training, it meant going home and taking some time off for the rest of them.  
In reality, it is hardly time off.  
But with everything going on with Modest, it was probably a good thing for the boys to take their mind off it by having a week off and time with their family.  
They all wanted to crowd at Jay’s, taking care of his family just like Louis would but only Harry ended up staying for most of the week. Niall had to head back to Ireland to see his family at some point; Zayn missed his sisters and his mum and dad and Liam couldn’t stay away from Sophia, and his parents for too long.  
It was an hour’s drive between Jay’s and Anne’s, and Harry made that journey religiously every day.  
It wasn’t because Jay needed the help, Harry just needed to be close to Louis.

When I get to his family home that day round lunch time with Nick (Took us 3 hours to drive from London).  
I couldn’t actually park close to the house because it was completely jammed already.   
There was Range Rovers everywhere (BOYS...) and some family cars round the block on the side of the road.  
“Are you ready?” I asked and looked at Nick.   
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He said. “It’s like meeting the parents but worse.”  
“How is it worse?” I asked.   
“Because I have known your parents for forever and I have never actually meet someone’s parents before. I never had a girlfriend for long enough to have to meet the parents.”  
“You’ll be fine.”  
“I’ll be starstruck. I mean, I’m meeting celebrity parents! Who doesn’t know Anne and Jay? They are nearly as famous as their sons! Who doesn’t know One Direction?” He mocked. “Oh hold on, apparently you didn’t.” I hit him on his arm and he kissed my forehead. “Come on, your little brothers and their family awaits.”  
“Gaga!” Jay said as she opened the front door, pulled me into a hug and a kiss on the cheek before ushered me and Nick into the house.  
“Thank you for having us.” I smiled.   
“Thank you for coming!” Jay said. “And you must be Nick... I mean Nicky.”  
“Yes ma’am. Nice to meet you.” Nick said. “Nick will do.”  
“Please, call me Jay.” She said and pulled him into a hug too.   
Everybody was there.  
Everybody as in everybody’s family. Zayn’s family, Harry’s family, Niall’s family and Liam family.  
And Jay, the girls and Louis’ stepdad, of course.  
Niall’s older brother was there.  
Liam’s sisters, Ruth and Nicola couldn’t make it but Liam said they would have ruined the fun anyway so it was probably best that they weren’t here.  
Even Harry’s sister Gemma came down from University.  
Louis, Liam and Niall were talking football.  
Harry had both of the twins on his lap and Zayn were playing with them.   
Zayn’s and Liam’s sisters were with Louis’ and Harry’s sisters, talking girlies things and gossiping who is the hottest popstar right now (not their brothers - “and not One Direction for that matter” I heard Fuzzy said).  
Niall’s brother was in a conversation with Zayn’s dad.  
And the mums and Niall’s sister-in-law were all in the kitchen cooking up a storm.  
“This is the infamous Gaga!” Anne said as I walked into the very crowded sitting room.  
I was suddenly been hugged and passed onto the (step)dads (and Greg) one by one.  
I never met their (step)dads (and Greg) before - usually I kept in touch with their mums (and sisters).  
That was the first time I met them.  
It was so strange.   
After I was passed around the room, Harry and Louis has one of the twins each, Harry handed me a cup of coffee and gave me a kiss on my cheek.  
“Gaga!” Niall said, wanting to full-on plant one on my lips. I turned my face just in time for him to miss it. “DAMN IT!” Nick laughed.   
“Tried that trick mate, doesn’t work.” Nick said. They all looked at him, eyebrow raised.  
“Tried...?” Niall asked, wiggling his eyebrows at Nick.  
“Long story.”   
“Good to see you all still get on - my little brothers teaming up with my best friend. Who knew?!” I said, eying Nick with his cup of tea. He flashed me one of his teethy grins that reminds me of Harry when he has done something naughty.   
They all nodded.  
“You never told us you’re cool.” Liam said and kissed my cheek. “You used to fence for the British Youth Squad?”  
“Minor details. Not in the file?” I asked.  
“Again, we were more into your personal life that your achievements.” Zayn said, gave me a hug and a kiss like the rest of them. “And you never told us you can sing.”  
“Really well.” Nick said.  
“I heard Gaga sang once!” Niall said.   
“I have too. She is a massive popstar that dresses funny.” I said. “Last time I checked she had wings in her music video.”  
“How as the drive?” Liam asked, completely ignored my comment.   
“Lady Gaga slept most of the way.” Nick said.   
“Nicholas like my car, so he drives my car when we are together.” I said.  
“And you still deny the fact that you guys are together?” Louis asked.   
“We have never been together.” Nick said. “We’ve always been best friends.”  
“Semantics.” Louis said. “Nicky no joke, get on that ass before anybody take it. We all know how great that ass looks after last Christmas. Seriously.”   
I whacked him round his head. The boys sucked in a big breath. Jay gave me a thumbs up. I returned with one of those.   
“What’s the for?!”  
“Aren’t you supposed to be in training?” I asked.  
“Going in a bit.” He said, rubbing the back of his head. “That really hurts! I think I have a minor concussion.”  
“Not possible. She’s strong but not THAT strong.” Nick said. “You need at least her whole body weight to get a minor concussion.”  
“I hate doctors.” Louis said.   
“Stop being a brat.” I said, took a sip of my coffee. “Haz is currently my favourite. He’s perfected my coffee.” Harry took a bow.   
“Niall is trying to sexually harass you most of the time...” Louis said before Niall interrupted with “there was no trying” at the same time I said “all the time”. “Niall sexually harass you all the time and yet he never gets physically abused!”  
“She LIKES to be sexually harassed.” Nick said.   
The whole room went quiet.   
“Thanks Nicky.” I deadpanned.  
“Can we keep Nicky? I like Nicky.” Niall said.   
“We’ll see.” I said. Nick smiled again.   
“Right I better get going.” Louis said, picked up his football bag. Harry started to pull his shoes on.   
Since the statement was released, the two of them have stopped hiding from the paparazzi and were spending more time in public together.  
The boys and I were hoping the fans would take it as a silent statement - ‘Larry Stylinson is real’.  
“Mum I’ll see you later. I’m going with Louis.” Harry said and threw Gemma his car key. “You wreck it, you die.”  
“I know you idiot.” Gemma said.   
“What time does the game start?” I asked.   
“Four.” Nick said. “When was the last time you watch a football game?”  
“When was the last time the Japanese played football on TV?” I asked. 

It was June.   
The air was warm but there was a breeze at the pitch.  
And it was wet.  
I have my long cardigan on, and I have restrained myself from pulling out my phone which is tucked safely away in the inner pocket of my bag.  
Nick patted me on my back and smiled.   
“I know it’s tempting, but you need to be watching the game, okay?” He said as I rested my head on his shoulder.   
The boys were all at the side of the pitch.  
Jay and the girls were sitting front row with Gemma, Anne and Robin.  
The Maliks, the Horans, the Paynes, Nick and I were sitting at the back.  
The boys turned around and waved at me. I smiled and waved back. Niall signalled me to go down to stand with them by the pitch.  
I shook my head.  
Nick took my bag and gave it to Anne, then grabbed my hand.  
“We’re going down.” Nick said and pulled me towards the boys.   
I was wearing 8-inches heels. I’d rather sit down than standing up.  
For nearly 2 hours.   
The four of them couldn’t have a brighter smile on their faces when Nick pulled me up.  
“Do it for Louis.” He whispered. I sighed and followed Nick down.  
“You are writing me more prescription for painkillers.” I deadpanned. “This wind is not good for my migraine.”  
“Cut down on the alcohol and we’ll talk about it.”   
“Fat chance.” I said.  
Jay and Anne both patted me on my back when I was on the way down.   
They mouthed a ‘thank you’ at me.   
“You do know when you need to be excited and cheering people on, right?” Nick asked.   
“Cheer when Louis’ got the ball. Cheers when Louis’ team gets a goal.”  
“Good girl.”   
When Louis walked out of the dressing room with the rest of his teammates and his baby twin sisters, his whole face lighted up when he saw us standing right there by the pitch.

Doncaster lost 3-1.  
Louis played well.  
We had fun and we huddled together.   
Seeing them smiling like there were nothing to worry made me smile.  
The boys all forgot about the problems we were facing.  
For the day.   
It’s totally worth it.


	15. July

“All for one and one for all; united we stand, divided we fall.” I mumbled as I sat in the British Library with books all over the table.  
“What did you say?” Liam asked.  
Harry and Louis were both looking at me now.  
“It’s a quote from The Three Musketeers.” I said.   
“A movie?” Harry asked. I shook my head.  
“Alexandre Dumas.” Zayn said. I gave him a thumbs up.   
“The Three Musketeers like ‘Man in the Iron Mask’?” Niall whispered.   
“If it makes you feel better.” I deadpanned. “You guys should spend more time reading whilst you’re on tour than playing FIFA.”  
“It’s the motto D’Atagnan lived to in the Three Musketeers.” Zayn said.  
“Zayn’s my favourite today.” I joked. “Because he’s a literate.”   
“Are you saying we’re illiterate?” Niall asked.   
“I am saying you guys can probably read more.” I said. 

Since we released the statement a month ago, we have had positive and negative feedbacks.  
Most of the fans were proud of the boys finally being release from their ‘prison’.  
The fans said the boys were all looking so much more relax, and their real selves were finally showing through.  
The Little Mix fans however, didn’t seem to think so.   
They called the boys traitors and there were messages left for Zayn, saying how he could leave Perrie and Little Mix at Modest.  
Zayn was put under a lot of pressure, and one thing I never had to deal with for the last year was how to deal with Zayn when he was under pressure.  
He holed himself in his bunk after the show, and he sat in the corner with his sketchbook when we were in the venue.  
If it wasn’t the sketchbook, it was his journal.   
It looked similar to the ‘Book of Larry Stylinson’.   
“We all have one. We just use it for different things.” Liam shrugged when he caught me looking at Zayn’s journal.   
The rest of the boys were more or less back to what they used to be, joking and laughing, as if the whole fiasco with Modest never happened.  
They tried to coax Zayn out of his little shell again like they did at the beginning, and there are days when he seemed better, only something would get to his mind and it would be back to square one again.  
The boys have been together long enough to know what to say and what to do, and I just let them dealt with it.   
They haven’t let me down with their tweets and their interviews yet, and there was no reason for me to doubt them.  
I was running low on energy, I was also running low of sleep.  
I was also running low on painkillers even with the refill Nick gave me – my chronic migraine was getting bad again, but I couldn’t let the boys know.   
They have enough stuff on their plates already.

Paul handed me Zayn’s journal to me when we were sitting at backstage.  
“He probably doesn’t want to share it with anybody, but I think you should see it.” Paul said. “I found it in his bunk.” I shook my head. “Take it.”  
“I shouldn’t.”  
“He doesn’t open up completely to anybody. Not even to the boys. The only person he opens himself fully up is Trisha, and when she’s not around, this is where he let everything out.”  
I took the journal from Paul and put it back on Zayn’s bunk in the tour bus, but it appeared again on top of my laptop a few days later.  
I gave Paul a dirty look.  
I put it back in his bunk again.  
It wasn’t until a few days later when we were all checked into the hotel, and I was back in the reception, but this time I was enjoying a quiet drink with myself when Paul gave me the journal.  
Again.  
“I won’t.” I said. “I can’t invade their privacy.”  
“Just read the first few pages.” He said and left it on the bar table. “I promise you, you won’t regret it. Give it to me tomorrow morning, and I’ll put it back.”  
As Paul walked away, I sighed and opened the first page.  
Just the first few pages.  
Zayn has a way with words.  
In fact, he has many ways with words.  
His writings were incredible.  
To the point where I want to shove him straight to university to do an English language degree.  
English Language with Art – I think he’d flare amazingly.   
I put his journal into my bag.  
I finished my drink and wandered my way back to the suite.  
Niall, Louis and Liam were playing FIFA, sitting on the floor with room service scattered across the carpet. Harry was absentmindedly playing with Louis’ hair on the sofa and Zayn seemed to be already asleep in one of the rooms.   
I flunked my bag onto the floor and sat on the sofa next to Harry before I planted a kiss on his head. He wrapped himself up next to me and rested his head on my shoulder.  
We sat like this for a while, before I kissed every one of them on the top of their head.  
“Love you guys.” I said. “Night.”  
“Night.” They replied.  
“Love you Gaga.” Liam said. I patted his face gently, got up and wandered into the room where Zayn was asleep.  
I planted a kiss on his forehead just as I did with the boys.   
“Love you Zayn.” I smiled.   
“Love you Gaga.” 

We were on the tour bus heading towards Sweden from Norway when he finally got pushed over the edge.  
No one knew Zayn has a bit of a temper in him.  
No one expected him to throw his phone from one end of the tour bus to the other.  
What shocked me the most was probably the fact that the iPhone was completely intact when Paul threw it back to him, bounced off the chairs and rested right next to my foot.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I looked up from my laptop. I could feel a headache coming, though I wasn’t sure if it was because I have been staring at the screen for too long and I have tricked my brain to think I am carsick. Liam shoved the phone at my face from across the table.  
It was a twitter message from a Little Mix fan.

If you can’t even protect your fiancée from your people, how are you going to protect her for the rest of your life? 

Damn Twitter.  
“This is getting out of hand.” I said, rubbing my temple with one hand and picked up Zayn phone from the floor with the other before threw it into my bag.  
“Watch it...” Liam said.  
“It’s been flunked across the tour bus twice and if throwing it into my bag it’s going to break it, I will buy Zayn a new phone.”  
I managed to get a snigger from Zayn.  
Harry sighed as he slumped himself down onto the floor next to Louis. He tucked his head on Louis’ shoulder as Louis wrapped his arm round him. He removed Harry’s phone from his hand and threw it into my bag with his phone too, then turned to kiss the top of his head. Liam and Niall both picked up their phone and threw it in my bag too.  
I shut my computer down and sat next to Liam, who automatically shifted and rested his head on my lap. Niall sat down next to Zayn across from Liam and me.  
“Why is there so much hatred in this world?” Harry asked, looking up at Louis.  
“I’d love to tell you love, but I’m afraid I don’t know.” Louis said.  
Sometimes I forgot even though the boys have practically seen the world, they haven’t experience real people and what real people were capable of.  
The closest they ever got to was Modest.  
“People are envious when others are living a life that is better. They become jealous when they aren’t getting what they thought they deserves.” I said as I run my fingers through Liam’s untamed hair.  
“But we aren’t like that.” Liam said.  
“You aren’t like that.” Harry said.  
“You young Harold, have too much faith in humanity.” I said. “In fact, you all have too much faith in humanity.”  
“You are so cynical.” Louis said. “In fact, you are TOO cynical.”  
“You’re not even that much older than we are.” Harry said.  
“Well I am 10 years older than you are.” I answered. “10 years can seem like nothing and yet, you can see so much in 10 years.”  
“Even with cynical attitude, you still can’t really justify why people are so horrible.” Zayn said.  
“You guys are still young.” I said.  
Zayn hasn’t said a word since we all decided NOT to do anything, just sitting round the back of the tour bus, talking about everything and nothing.  
I always found Zayn the hardest to open up. Even though Harry took a while to warm up to me, he still interacted with me and was easy to talk to when he wasn’t sure if he could trust me.  
Zayn on the other hand, because the rest of them demand my attention (especially Niall), Zayn was always so quiet and kept everything to himself.   
“This is my fault.” I said. “I made an irrational decision on your behalf and now all of you are suffering from it.”   
“No.” Liam said and wrapped his arm round my waist before burying his head on my stomach. “We’ve talked about this before, we’re in this together.” Harry and Louis nodded along with Niall and Zayn.   
“Stop feeling guilty about it.” Harry said.   
“What do you think Pez think?” Zayn suddenly asked.   
“Think about what?” Niall asked.   
“This whole thing.”   
“Well she’s your fiancée, so what do you think she’s thinking?” I asked.   
“That I am not protecting her.”  
“I am sure she doesn’t think that way.” Louis said. “She must understand this situation that we have been put in.”  
“Probably so worried about you to the point where she thought she can’t give you a call just in case she’d breakdown in front of you over FaceTime or worse, just down the phone from hearing your voice.” I said. He shrugged. “Zayn honey, when was the last time you talked to Perrie?” I asked. He shrugged. I looked at Liam. He shrugged too. “When?” I pressed.  
“Just after the press release came out.” He said.   
“A month ago.” Harry said, suddenly sat up. “You talked to your fiancée a month ago.” He nodded. “Why would you do that? She needs you right now.” Harry said. “And you need her just as much.”  
“Haz…” Louis warned quietly.   
“No I am not going to stop!” Harry said, his face slowly turning red with anger. “Remember when I needed you the most and Modest won’t even let me sit next to you? It hurts so much, just because you know the person you love the most is right there and yet they can’t do anything about it. And it just hurt even more when I know you were right there and you needed me just as much as I needed you!”   
We were all kind of shocked with Harry’s outburst.  
Louis sat up and wrapped his arm round Harry’s shoulder, Harry fisting hard on his own shirt.  
I knew what he meant.   
It hurt when you couldn’t take care of the person you loved the most.  
My head also hurt from the sudden amount of information.  
“Zayn, call Perrie.” I said. “You’d feel better. I promise.”  
He shook his head.  
“He’s probably not in the right state of mind to do that right now.” Louis said, still wrapped around Harry trying to calm him down.   
“Gaga, are you okay?” Liam asked, looking up at me. “You are looking a bit green.”   
“Might be looking at the screen for too long. I might just need to rest a bit.”   
“Scratch that. You’re looking really green.” Louis said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
“Just a headache.”  
No it wasn’t.  
“I’ll get some water!” Niall said as Liam got up from my lap and manoeuvred me to lie on the sofa.  
The light from the window started to hurt. I put my arm over my eyes to block out the lights. I could hear Louis and Harry getting up from the floor and moving closer to where I was.  
The noise started to hurt too.  
One word flashed across my mind.  
Migraine.  
“I’ll go and check with Dad to see when we’re going to be arriving in the next hotel.” Zayn said. “Gaga looks like she’s going to need to sleep this out.”  
“Are you feeling really sensitive to the light and sound?” Harry asked.   
Something must have clicked in Harry’s head.  
Then the sound of curtain being drawn.  
“Migraine.” Harry said. “My mum and Gemma get them every now and then and they don’t usually emerge from their room for days.”  
Days?   
So lucky.  
I have chronic migraine. They could last for weeks and months.  
“Painkiller.” Louis said and I could hear him picking up my bag. “Gaga always carry painkiller in her bag.”  
“The round pink one.” I said. “Give me two of those.”  
“You’re running out.” Liam said as he put two in my hand and gave me the water. “There are only 2 left in your box.”  
“I’ll worry about that later.” I said.   
“Dad said we are about an hour and a half away from the venue.” Zayn said. I could hear someone else’s footstep coming up towards the back of the bus.  
“Finally overworked?” Paul asked. I flipped him the bird. “I’m glad you still have a sense of humour. We’ll head to the hotel first and you can rest for the rest of the night. I’ll take care of the boys today.”  
“I have lots to do.” I said.   
“Rest for a day isn’t going to do any damage.” Louis said. “As the leader of the pack, I grant you a day of rest.”  
“You’re no leader of the pack. You can’t even control them. If anybody is the leader it’d be Paynis.”  
“He’s just sensible.” Louis said. “I was voted the leader when we were in the X-factor house. Urgo, I am the leader.”   
“You suck Tomlinson.”   
“And you only know that now?” Liam smirked. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face either.

Paul came round and told us we were nearly there at some point, Niall took my shoes and socks off and Harry gave me a pair of his draw string trousers that were way too big on me, with one of Louis’ old ratty t-shirts before pushing me into the bathroom to get change.  
The clothes were well worn and the cotton was soft against my sensitive skin.   
When I came out of the bathroom, Zayn put his hoodie on me and pulled up the hood whilst Niall put his sunglasses over my face when the tour bus came to a stop. Paul and his team already got all the bags out. Liam picked me up and took off with me on his back.  
“I am not an invalid.” I said.   
“Shut up and just enjoy it.” Liam said.  
I got to their joined suite (because there are six of us now and it was easier to get 2 suites that were joined together in the middle) and Liam gently put me down. Louis has dug out my eye mask and put that on me, whilst Niall drew all the curtains of the room.  
“Rest Gaga. You’ve been overworked.” Harry said as he brushed my hair off my face like I did with them.   
I felt like I was little again, and I felt like I could just relax.  
For the day, for the night.  
“We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about us.” Zayn said and pulled the cover over me. “But don’t leave us for too long though, god knows what might happen to us without you.”

I fell in and out of sleep throughout the day, and there were always water on my bedside table, and my painkillers were within reach.   
At some point I got up and looked at my phone, and the boys have all sent me a message telling me to stay in bed if I read the text.  
There was also a message from Paul saying the boys have not been so well behaved for so long, and I should be a proud big sister.  
I went back to bed with a smile on my face, and another dose of painkiller.  
My last dose of painkiller.

When I woke up again, I could hear noise from the other side in the lounge area.  
I was lying on top of someone’s chest and was cradling me.  
And I know the arms and the chest too well.  
“Nicky?” I sad quietly, hoping I wouldn’t bring on another thump of my migraine.  
“Hello Sleeping Beauty.” He said and planted a kiss on my hair before lying me down on the bed and slipped down to look at me.   
“When did you get here?”  
“Just in time to see the boys performing.” He said. “You’ve been out for the last 12 hours… more or less.”  
“12 hours?” I asked and he nodded. “The boys called when they settled you in. Louis was slightly in a panic mode and Harry was trying to calm him down. Liam was on the phone with me asking me to grab some ‘little round pink tablets’ and ‘little oval white tablets’, Zayn was trying to chime in with all sorts of information, wanting to know how to help you when you have a migraine and Niall was screaming out questions about my shifts so he could get a ticket for me to fly out. Between the five of them I weren’t sure what the issue was so I got off my shift, got home, grabbed a bag and flew out with the reference number Niall gave me.”  
I buried my head into his chest.  
“Migraine.” I said. “It came out of nowhere.”  
“Paul said you might be overworked. He said you haven’t been sleeping.”  
“Yes I have.”  
“Only when the boys dragged you into their rooms. Paul said he found you sitting in the lobby last month with your iPad.”   
“So you are friends with Paul now?”  
“I need to know there is actually at least ONE adult to take care of you when I am not around. I love the boys, but they are good at getting into a panic mode and when one of them started, the rest of them just join in like they were gonna get high from the panic or something.” I smiled. “So how you feeling?” He asked as he ran his hand through my hair. “All your vitals are all okay, I had a quick check. I wanted to give you a Paracetamol drip but I weren’t allowed to bring all the stuff with me on the flight so I picked up as much legal painkiller as I could.”  
“The little pink ones and the little white ones?”  
“I even managed Tramadol.”   
“400mg?”   
“400mg.”  
“Thank you.”   
“I promised to give you the drugs remember?”   
“Thank you for coming here and be here with me.” I corrected.   
“You know I’d do anything for you.”   
“Love you Hare.”  
“Love you… Bun.”  
Nick being the A&E doctor, wanting to get all problems over and done with, gave me a dose of Tramadol and put me back to bed.  
Just before it knocked me out, he kissed the tip of my nose and went to sit with the boys in their lounge.   
When I woke up again, it wasn’t because of the pain, nor was it because I needed a comfort break or a drink of water.  
The bed was too warm.   
And the bed was rather crowded.  
Nick was on one side of me I could tell, because it was the familiar feeling right next to me and I could smell his shampoo and his body wash.   
“Gaga, are you awake?” I could hear a voice behind me whispered.   
“Zayn?” I asked.  
“How you feeling?”   
“Who else is in bed with me?” I asked.   
“Liam.” he said. “Harry and Louis went to bed before we did, something about wanting to spend some quiet time together. Niall is in the other room. I don’t think he’s asleep yet. And you of course already know about Nicky.”   
“More importantly, why aren’t you asleep?”   
“I can’t sleep.” He said.   
“You called Perrie?”   
“Yeah.” He said.   
“And is she okay?”   
“She was very worried about me.” He said. “Just like you said.”  
“Rule number one of being me - I am always right. Rule number two - if I am wrong, please refer back to rule number one.” I said. “What else did she say?”  
“She’s holding up perfectly fine, and the girls are very supportive or our decisions. She has also tweeted and said it wasn’t very nice, what they have said about me. And that she’s very upset about how they weren’t being supportive, for people to claimed to love her, and her relationship with me.”  
“But that’s just to the public. What did she say to you?”  
“She wished I would have talked to her earlier.” He said. “And I am glad I have talked to her.”  
“Good.” I said. “So all sorted?”   
“Yeah.” He said. “We are good now.”  
“Good.” I said. “Hey Zaynie?”   
“Yeah?”  
“I have a confession to make to you.” I said and took a deep breath. “Paul showed me your journal.”   
“And?”  
“You should go to uni you know?” I said. “If you have time.”  
The room went quiet.  
I thought I have crossed the line.   
“I’d like to go to uni too.” He said. “I have no idea where to start.”  
“Well, lucky for you I have done quite a bit about going to uni.”  
“Would you help me?”


	16. August

Just when I thought it was one of those evenings where I could chill out with a glass of wine, look through Zayn’s university application (finally) because I have had a manic few months (and a nightmare of a migraine for a week and a half that paralysed me for 2 days), Louis was breaking my door down.  
I literally came out of the shower and was dressed in my pyjamas.  
My One Direction pyjamas, because I haven’t even had time to do my laundry, and Nick has been working back-to-back shifts.  
“Did you not pick up the keys from concierge?” I asked when he took his shoes off by my door. “Honey, you’re gonna have to wash those feet at some point, you know.”  
“I have!” He said. “Concierge said you’re in so I didn’t ask them for the keys. Love the jammies by the way, and I think we might have a pending problem.”  
“I am assuming ‘we’ as in the royal we?”  
“Well the problem starts with Harry and me, but it’s definitely going to affect the boys, and probably you too.”  
“Well Yorkshire tea awaits. Kitchen.” I said.  
“Gaga, I think this is an alcohol moment.”  
“Alright. Corona?”  
“There’s a reason we all love you so much.” He said as he wrapped his arm round my shoulder.  
He sat down at my kitchen bar table as I pulled 2 bottles of Corona from the fridge and put more in.  
“First question. I assumed I have to do some sort of a damage control?” I asked. He tilted his head to the side and pulled a face.  
“Well… I am not too sure.”  
“What do you mean you’re not sure?!”  
He pulled out his phone and pulled up text messages from Eleanor.  
“You are still Harry-sexual, right?” I asked.  
“Of course I am.” He said. “Elle texted me earlier, and I thought it was best to show it to you because I’ll lost the gist of it.”  
I looked at the screen.

_EC: You free? x_   
_LT: Sure. What’s up? x_   
_EC: Now that 1D has left MM..._   
_LT: ??_   
_EC: You and H need to be free._   
_LT: ..._   
_EC: Take a page from MM. Public breakup._   
_LT: dump me._   
_EC: okay._   
_EC: Louis, I love you and H both to bits and I want the best for you both. I know you think I have ruin your life but I want to protect both you and Harry. I don’t know what to do to help you. Just let me help and we can all walk away relatively unscathed._

“That’s it?” I asked. He nodded. “You didn’t respond to her last message.” He shook he head. “How much do you trust Eleanor?”  
“Enough to know she weren’t lying. She actually gets on really well with Harry and when she was MADE to come over to ours, the two of them actually hang out and I was the one that get left out.”  
Typical Harry, waltzing and charming his way to everybody’s life.  
“I have been trying to think what’s the best way to end your relationship with Eleanor and to tell the world you and Harry are together.” I said. “The thing is, it kind of involve degrading Modest.”  
“So what are we waiting for?”  
“Do you not remember what happened when the public pushed Zayn over the edge only a few months ago?”  
“But now that’s over and no one is pushing Zayn over the edge, and there’s nothing that’s really stopping us.”  
“Except for your fans might possibly turn against you guys because some of them might see you guys lying to them about who you really are.”  
“I know. But then what can we do? We didn’t want to hide in the first place – it was Modest that wanted us to hide. We didn’t have a choice.”  
“And hence I said my plan would probably degrade Modest. Massively.”  
“And I don’t give a flying fuck about it.” Louis said. I looked at him. “You are not going to tell me off for swearing now, are you?” I smirked. “What is your plan?” I gave him a look that said ‘really, you are asking that question?’. “Please don’t tell me there is no plan.”  
“Before I tell you, I think I need to involve Harry as well as Eleanor. Can you get Eleanor to come here at some point, and we can talk about my plan?”

I told Nick about Eleanor one afternoon whilst the boys were at an interview, and I had a spare 2 hours before meeting them up.  
I went to the hospital and brought lunch with me.  
He wasn’t surprised.  
“To be honest, Eleanor has been the perfect girlfriend.” Nick said. “In fact, she has been so perfect, it makes sense that all she wanted to do is to protect the boys.”  
“Do you think Modest might have set her up? I didn’t want to say it in front of Lou – he has 100% faith in Eleanor, and I felt like it is my duty to question everything.”  
“The thing is bun, Lou knows Eleanor. If Lou doesn’t question it, I don’t think you should.” Nick said. “And honestly? She has to be careful too, god knows how many One Direction fan are there on the face of this earth. She’s gotten enough shit from them already, if this isn’t done right, she might be the one that is going to get hurt the most.”  
“Obviously including you.” I deadpanned and looked at the photo that sat proudly on his desk of him and the boys.

Even though both Louis and Harry were happy for Eleanor to go to their place, Eleanor weren’t too comfortable meeting at their place anymore.  
“You guys no longer have to answer to Modest, and because they haven’t terminate their contract with me, I don’t want to chance it in case they make something ELSE up.” Eleanor had said to Louis.  
Because my house was off-limit (“I have enough of sharing – and I am not willing to share you anymore Gaga. You care too much and the five of us need to take care of you as much as you take care of us. And your flat is our ‘safest place to hide’. I don’t think Nicky would want us to take over his place too.” Harry had said; Louis just nodded and agree with him), so Eleanor, Harry and Louis all turned up at Nick’s office.  
I was already having lunch with Nick, so all I had to do was wait for the three of them to turn up.  
Nick has told Louis and Harry to go through the back door via the staff carpark, so they avoided any possible fans and/or paparazzi.  
Eleanor was the first one to arrive.  
“Sorry, are you Doctor Drake?” She said as she popped her head into Nick’s office.  
“Eleanor?” I said as I turned my head to look at her.  
“Elle.” She said.  
She was a pretty looking little thing, and I understood why Modest picked her.  
Besides the fact that she was a friend of a friend of Gemma’s.  
“You must be... Gaga.” She said as I stood up. She gave me a hug.  
“Guilty.” I said. “Nice to meet you. Sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”  
“I think it’s as good a time as any.” She smiled. “I have heard nothing but good things from the boys.”  
“You obviously haven’t been talking to them recently.” I joked.  
“Take a seat, the boys should be here soon.” Nick said and looked at his watch. “At least Lou texted earlier and said they were on their way.”  
Just as Nick said that, we heard a murmur ‘I am sure it’s here because that’s what Gaga said... look there it is – Doctor Nicholas Drake’ and their heads popped into Nick’s office.  
“Nicky and Gaga!” Louis said and grabbed me into a hug, and then Nick. Harry followed. “Elle! You’re early!” Louis hugged Eleanor as well, and so did Harry.  
“Good to see you both.” Eleanor said.  
“No, you’re just late.” I said.  
“Fashionably.” Louis joked.  
“Alright, I have to do my rounds – the office is sound proof so no one can get into the room except for me when you lock it from the inside as I am the only one with the key. Take your time in here, I’ll probably be about an hour or even more.” Nick said as he put his stethoscope round his neck and grabbed his pen from his desk after planting a kiss on my head.  
“You’re not staying?” Harry asked.  
“I know what the plan is already.”  
“Of course you do.” Louis mumbled.  
“I’ll be back in no time. I’ll see you all before you go.” Nick said, ruffled Louis’ hair. “Behave Tommo.”  
“Yes sir!” Louis said and saluted him. Nick shook his head and shut the door behind him.  
Once Nick locked his office door, I took Nick’s seat and the three of them looked at me.  
“There is so many inappropriate joke I can make right now, seeing you sitting so comfortably in Nicky’s chair.” Louis said. Harry tried to hide a smile by attempting to rearrange his hair. I smirked.  
“So.” I said. “I believe I have an excellent plan to free all three of you. Technically Louis and Harry are free already, we just have to make that official, and as for you Elle, this will definitely free you to be a normal person again.” She smiled.  
The plan was simple.  
There were four parts to it.  
First was to have Eleanor upload her contact with Modest onto Twitter.  
When this was being questioned (most likely by Modest), Louis and Harry would make a statement on the One Direction website (all coordinated by me, of course).  
The penultimate part was for Eleanor to sit and record a video – reading the contract.  
And the last part was for the three of them to issue an official statement, which I would set up with reporters from magazine and websites (and Perez Hilton) to discuss the fact that Eleanor knew from the beginning that Louis and Harry were together, and she was a tool that was used by Modest to fool the fans to make sure that they would appeared to be straight guys.  
Louis would then apologise to his fans and play the part that he was made to do it and he has no say in this matter – or there would be no One Direction (Which was implied in the One Direction Contract, since there wasn’t an individual contact for the five of them but a contract for One Direction instead). So for the sake of the boys, his best friends, he had to do what he was told.  
Eleanor would also apologise to the One Direction fans for causing them so much trouble, and then thank Louis (as well as Harry and the boys) that they have all been nothing but gentlemanly towards her and always so friendly, even though they all knew what her position was.  
Simples.  
To be honest, the last part was the first part that I came up with. I wanted to settle the whole thing once and for all.  
But just in case Eleanor (and possibly the boys) didn’t agree with my choice, I thought I’d break it to them gently.  
Of course, the first part of this plan could possibly be the only thing that we needed to do.  
But I planned ahead just in case.  
I just wanted to make sure all bases were covered.  
“Let’s just go straight to the last part.” Eleanor said. “Just tell the world that it was all Modest’s. We are all victims here.”  
“I agree.” Harry said. We all looked at him. “Elle’s got a point.”  
“But with Gaga’s approach, we have control over the situation.” Louis argued.  
“Gaga has a lot more on her mind and she’s not going at it directly.” Harry said. I nodded.  
“The team has spoken.” I said and smiled. “Let’s do it Elle’s way.”  
“But Gaga…” Louis tried to reason. I shook my head.  
“It’s still my way, we just won’t be doing the first few steps.” I smiled.  
“You came up with the last part and then worked backwards?” Harry said, more like stating a fact that asking a question.  
This boy was getting to familiarise with the way I work.  
When Nick came back from his rounds, Eleanor was just about to leave. She hugged Louis and Harry, and even gave me a hug before leaving Nick’s office.  
“She’s a lovely girl.” I said. They all nodded. “Pity she got sucked into this whole mess.”

I had to tell Simon about the plan.  
Because this situation was very much out of depth.  
When I knocked and walked into Simon’s office, he looked as if he was expecting me.  
“You talked to Eleanor.” He said as he moved his glaze from his computer to me. I nodded.  
“She’s a lovely girl.” I said and sat down by his desk. He nodded.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“To be honest? It feels like I’m opening cans and cans of worms the more I dig into the whole Modest thing. Admittedly I think I have opened the largest can already, and right now I feel I am completely out of my depth here.”  
“What is your plan to deal with ‘the worms’?”  
I told him about my meeting with Eleanor, and Louis and Harry.  
I told him about what Eleanor had said, and I told him how I really want this to work out so the boys and Eleanor could be free from all the mess that they were sucked into by Modest.  
Simon didn’t say much, he just nodded and written down a few things whilst I was talking.  
“Go home and have a bit of a rest.” Simon said after my massive rant. “Enjoy some free time tonight. I’ll give you a hand on this one.”

So I did what Simon told me.  
The next thing I know, Twitter was exploding.  
I have text message from Louis and Harry saying they were on their way to my place with the rest of the boys.  
And another one with only 4 words: ‘Larry Stylinson is out’.  
Eleanor has texted and said she had to do it, and Simon was behind all this.  
I still didn’t know what they were on about until I saw a link that Eleanor sent me.  
YouTube video.  
Eleanor has issued a statement saying she would protect the boys, especially Louis and Harry, and that was the reason why she was coming out with the truth now.  
“Gemma and I have a mutual friend. She was on the same course as I was, and she lives with Gemma.” She said as she adjusted her webcam slightly to have the full focus on her face. “Harry and I met when he came to visit Gemma in university. With Louis. The two of them are so in love, you can see it from miles away. I admire the love they have, and so envious. That evening we were sitting in Gemma’s flat. I felt a bit out of place, because Gemma and my mutual friend had an emergency and left half way through the evening, but they all included me into their conversation. Harry and Louis got a call from their PR management that they were spotted in public together. Their PR management – Modest wanted to can the issue. We were slightly intoxicated, and Harry said to Gemma he’s find it difficult to have Modest giving him ‘women’ to hang out with. Gemma joking said that maybe I can be Harry’s next ‘conquer’. Harry said no, and said I should be Louis’ beard because if anything Louis should be protected and have someone that he and Louis both can trust. That evening, the three of them walked me home. A few days later, my face was all over the newspaper and gossip magazines. Louis and Harry called and said sorry they have to get my involved in this mess, but I didn’t think much of it. Gemma and I have become friends, and the two of them were genuinely nice people. A month later, Modest has approached me with a contract to be Louis’ beard. This lie got dragged on and on, and every time we tried to move on and somehow end the relationship, Modest would get in the middle of it and stop anything we wanted to say or do. So when I heard One Direction and Modest no longer has a contact, I wanted to let everybody know that, I have a contact with Modest too, and Louis and Harry are two very important people in my life. I also want to apologise to Harry, because I have taken up so much of his time with his boyfriend.”  
I shot a quick text to Simon and thanked him for doing that.  
The boys turned up pretty much after I got myself a coffee.  
You couldn’t physically wipe the smile off Harry and Louis’ faces.  
“Gaga, I don’t know what you’ve done but thank you so much.” Harry said before launching himself at me.  
“It was all Simon.” I said.


	17. September

I read through so many Entertainment law and Business law books and reference to the point where I thought I was going to throw up legislations.  
When I wasn’t working with the boys, I was reading law books.  
When I am waiting around for the boys, I was reading things online.  
It has been two months already, but there wasn’t much movement on the lawsuit front.  
Admittedly after the unexpected PR stunt from Eleanor, Louis and Harry, Modest seemed to have quietened down and not said anything.  
There was no official letter that was addressed to me from Modest saying they want to sue me.  
The boys have all done their parts.   
There were days and nights where they all crowded at my place, looking for loopholes in their contacts.   
They were brushing through the 26 pages with a fine comb.  
They have also turned my flat into their second home. My guest room was constantly filled with their stuff.  
There were law books lying round the room as well as my coffee table.  
I joked that maybe they should move to the south of the river rather than stay north of the river because I would be within easy access.  
They brushed that idea off straight away because ‘we are all from the north of the river’.

Two days later, they walked into my flat and handed me a key.  
I was sitting at my coffee table, running my hand through my messy hair in my yoga pants and a t-shirt that was probably one of the boys’ because it was way too big on me.   
I looked at them with my eyebrow raised.  
“The flat next to Niall was on sale. We thought maybe you can stay there...?” Liam asked.   
“At least until this whole thing is finished - we’d be closer together and you won’t have to worry about us going home in the middle of the night.” Zayn said.   
“We feel bad taking over your flat.” Louis said, rubbing the back of his neck.   
“And it’s easier if we stick together.” Harry said.   
“Oh and early happy birthday.” Niall said.   
“You guys got me a flat for my birthday?!” I finally said.   
“Well it’s easier that way...” Niall said.   
“I can’t take the flat.” I said. “It’s too much!”  
“No it’s not.” Liam said. “When you divided it out between the five of us...”  
“Boys, I love you all to bits.” I said. “But seriously, I can’t take it.”  
“Gemma didn’t have any problems when I got her a flat.” Harry said.   
“Honey, I am hardly Gemma.” I said.   
“But you’re our big sister!” Liam said.   
“I never had a big sister and I think you’re as close as it gets.” Louis said.  
““I have two of those and they are nothing like Gaga.” Liam said. “You’re more like my big sister than they are.” Harry nodded.  
“What about this.” I said. “I’ll use it until this thing is finished. Do whatever you want to do with it afterwards. And as for my birthday, when this is over, I would like a 3 month holiday.”  
“I think that’s fair enough.” Niall said. “But what would you do without us? What would we do without you? Look how happy you were when we turned up and gatecrash your Christmas holiday!”  
“I know what I’d do without you.” I smiled. “No more sexual harassment from you.”  
“You love it!” Niall said, launching himself at me. His head was on my lap and he wrapped his arms round my waist. I ruffled his hair.  
“I’d miss you all massively if I get to have a holiday, that’s for sure.”   
“See, you are finally admitting to it.” Liam said. “You’re improving!”

Nick came bearing with interesting information the next day when I was in my office.  
He had one of his rare day off after working an overnight shift the night before, and weren’t due back to the hospital until the day after.   
The last few months they have been getting on with Nick. When they couldn’t get hold of me they ended up getting hold of Nick.  
How they got Nick’s number I have no idea.  
But I guess it was easier to get on with a male than with a female.  
Also Nick was not responsible for anything. He’s more like a friend more than anything.   
“You know you said Modest only issued one letter to the boys, right?” He asked.  
“Yes - just one letter.” I said. “Addressed to ‘members of One Direction’.”  
“That’s a good sign.” He said. “Remember back in the 90s, when the Backstreet Boys sued Lou Pearlman?”  
“I was actually too young to know what happened back then but yes... I am aware of that case.”  
Nick was about to say something when the boys burst into my office.  
They never ever knocked on that bloody door.  
I might as well leave it opened when they are in the office.  
“Nicky!” Niall said. “What’s up man!”  
“What’s happening!” Zayn said.  
As the boys filed in, Nick high-fived each of them and they sat down on the sofa and the floor like they always do.   
“Not working today?” Louis asked.  
“Actually I just got off an overnight shift.” He said. “I was hoping to catch Hyoga for lunch.”  
“Lunch date. Gotcha.” Liam said. “Right boys, let’s go.”  
“See you later Nicky!” Louis said. “Can’t wait until you’re like our proper brother-in-law.”  
Nick whacked him round the head.   
“Just telling the truth!” Louis argued. “Jesus, what is it with people whacking my head?!” Harry smiled and pushed him out of the door.   
“See you later Gaga!” Harry shouted. 

Nick and I went to one of the local Dali and sat in the corner.   
“I think we need to look into what Modest is being paid and the processes of how Modest deal with Publicities for the boys.” Nick said.   
“There’s a clause somewhere in Entertainment law about management is forbidden to create fake information to promote the artist.”  
“There’s a clause in all law books regarding creating fake information.” I said. “It’s like creating fake data from clinical trials, and making up numbers in business law. But that doesn’t really help us, does it?”  
“How do you know Modest wasn’t... isn’t creating all the fake publicity?” Nick asked. “Because if you think about it, they are. They know about Harry and Louis. That’s why they pulled them away from each other. They gave Louis a fake girlfriend. They got Kendall Jenner at the right place and the right time just to be photographed with Harry. They managed to have the rest of the boys out of the picture. Remember the photo last year from their time off?”  
Of course I remember the photo.  
I even thought maybe it was a mole from Modest that has been planted in Syco.  
Because the timing was so perfect.  
“And there was Cara before that. And Caroline. And Taylor.” Nick said.  
“So what do you mean?” I asked, taking a mouthful of my Panini.  
“The contact does not mention anything about their personal relationship, nor does it state that they have to be straight, and - or obtaining a beard whilst under management, let alone disclosing their sexuality!”   
“So whatever Modest want them to do are not in their contact.” I said. “Which also means that yes - they are suing me for terminating the contact early, but really I can sue them back for doing things that is NOT in the contact.”   
“Exactly.” He said.   
“You are a genius.” I said and raised my cup of coffee at him. “And thank you so much for helping me out.”   
“No problem. I have time on my hands when I am doing graveyard, this has been very entertaining to say the least.”  
“How did you know so much?”  
“Sometimes a male influence is as important as a female influence. And they care about you. They call me because they care about you.” He said. “And gossip magazine is the way forward when you’re bored.”


	18. October

None of us knew how it might end up.  
It was the biggest gamble the boys would ever done.  
Niall, Liam and Zayn were doing it for the Louis and Harry; and Louis and Harry are doing it for themselves.  
It was all or nothing for all of them.

Thank goodness for the fans, and thank goodness for Simon.  
Also thank goodness for Nick.  
My old criminal law professor always said “There is always loop hole, that’s why there are good barristers and bad barristers”.   
I had to pull in Nick, with no legal background, who took care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself.  
He knew how important the boys were to me.   
The boys treasured his ‘big brother’ present as much as Nick loved being their ‘big brother’.  
The boys were the other important thing to me. I didn’t care about losing this job because I can go back to whatever I did previously - I have the qualification, and I can even go and do something else. I have plenty of experience.  
They didn’t.  
One Direction was all they have.  
Music was all they have.  
And each other of course.

It was a lengthy procedure and it felt like I was in a battle every single day from the moment I woke up and even when I was about to fall asleep, something would haunt me in my dreams.  
And I have no experience in business and entertainment law.  
Simon has told me right from the beginning I had to take responsibility for every single one of the decisions I made with the boys.  
And for the boys.  
I have been a selfish bitch right from the beginning when I started working with them because I thought I knew better, because I am older.  
And I do know better than them.  
Even they admitted to it.  
But this time, it was their decisions.  
And they all decided on the same decision.  
The same one that I made.

The morning when Simon called us to tell us the meeting outcome that Syco and Modest had come to, all six of us haven’t slept seen the night before - and even then we haven’t slept that much.   
Especially Louis and Harry.  
They all camped out in my flat, with Nick coming in round about half past three in the morning after he finished his shift.   
Just before nine in the morning, we were waiting for Simon’s call as he promised. Simon was always on time and we know it was just a matter of time until the phone rang.  
Louis and Harry were cuddled up on the single couch, and the other three were on my guest couch. I was sitting at my desk, nursing my n-th number of Mocha.   
“Are you ready?” I asked, my hand on the speakerphone button, ready to press it the moment it started to ring.  
They all nodded.   
“Thank you guys for everything.” Louis said, holding tight onto Harry’s hand.   
“Lou, we are all in it together.” Liam said, reached over and patted him on his knee.  
The phone rang.  
We looked at each other and I pressed the speakerphone button.  
“Hyoga Zawada speaking.” I said and stood up, signalled the guys to keep their voices down, in case they weren’t supposed to be hearing any of this.  
“It’s Simon.” The voice said. “I know you are with the boys and I know you are on speakerphone. Boys, you can stop holding your breaths and a massive thank you for your manager, because she has made the impossible possible for you.” We all looked at each other.   
Liam was the first one to jump up and started screaming.  
So much for Daddy Direction.  
Louis and Harry were locked in a passionate kiss and were saying “I love you” to each other, over and over.  
Niall and Zayn were in tears holding each other, and the five of them jumped at each other and were all in hysterics.  
I could feel my eyes welling up too, but it was their moment, I will join in with the celebration in a while.  
“And boys, get yourself ready because it’s back to rehearsal this afternoon - after you take your amazing manager to lunch first of course.” Simon said. “I am going to go now, and I will see you all - every single one of you, including your Hyoga, in my office tomorrow morning, ten o’clock sharp.”   
“Thank you Simon!” They all screamed and I hung up.   
I was going to relax on my chair, when the next thing I know I have five guys wrapped round me and kissing my face, my head and my hair and arms everywhere, grabbing my waist and my arms, and I definitely felt someone slapping my bottom.  
“Niall, off my ass!” I said, they could probably hear me smiling through it.   
“You know you love it!” He said, planting a big fat kiss on my   
“Thank you thank you thank you. You’re the best Gaga. You are the best!” Louis said. “We love you so much. So so much.”  
“Let’s go and get food now, can we?” Niall said. “Is it too early for pizza? I want pizza.”   
“Alright guys. Let’s go get food.” I said and smiled. “Then we are all going to go home and rest.”  
“But Simon said...” Liam said, but I already wrapped my hand round his mouth.   
“Shut up daddy Direction. What Simon doesn’t know won’t kill him.” I said. “We all know we need to rest because none of us has been sleeping for a while and having to keep all these from your families must be hard. Call them and tell them how much you love them and how important they are and we can all rest for the rest of today. I am sure loverboy one and loverboy two want to have some alone time and probably do some x-rated stuff.”  
“We are going to have very loud sex.” Louis concluded. Harry blushed and we all laughed.   
“Business as usual tomorrow. Right now I want food - and I want pizza just as much as Niall does, which I never thought was possible.” 

They all ended up coming back to my place.  
I called Nick after we have wined and dined at my place and told him the outcome.  
The boys weren’t going to move.  
Nick came over to mine after work and hugged us all.  
He brought champagne too.  
Most popular guy of the night ever.  
We made sure Louis was away from the cork though.


	19. November

I spent a whole month setting up my own company - my own management company.  
Just for the boys.  
Harry, who came up with the name “One Direction” also came out with my company name.  
Deity Management.  
He came up with this when we were deciding on the name.  
After I said “All for one and one for all; united we stand, divided we fall” when we decided to go against Modest Management, he asked me where it was from.  
I told him it was the Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas.   
He must have gotten to read the book in his limited free time.  
Because whilst we were all doodling random words on the piece of paper in my sitting room on my coffee table, which I now called my reception, he shouted “Deity”.  
We all looked at him.  
“‘Everyone knows that drunkards and lovers have a protecting deity’. That was in the Three Musketeers. We have lovers and drunks in this room. And Gaga is our deity. We should call it Deity Management.”   
“Not without you guys, I am not.” I said. They were all looking at Harry.  
“What?”   
“When did you become an English student?” Zayn asked. “I thought that was me.”  
“Technically it’s French.” I said.   
“Gaga told me I needed to read more!” Harry argued.  
“To be honest, I said every single one of you needed to read more.” I smiled. “But Deity Management sounds good. Thanks Haz!”  
“Okay we’ve got the name. What’s next?” Louis asked.   
“Shall we start drafting your management proposal to Simon?” Zyan asked.  
“Even if I have all this set up, Simon might have already found you guys a new management company.” I said.

Things moved on very quickly then.  
I handed my notice in to Simon the moment I finalised all the paperwork for my own company.  
The boys were still sitting in my office (not for long).  
He wasn’t shocked at all when he saw the letter in my hand when I walked into his office.  
“I envisage this day after you told me they were ‘drinking in your apartment’…” He said, leaning back on his chair and signalled me to take a seat. “…About two months into the job.”   
“Sorry…?” He smiled.  
“I don’t think you are.” I shook my head as I put the letter on his desk. “You are probably one of the best things that ever happened to the boys. And to be honest with you? I have never been so impressed with someone before. Someone who is not a professional in this field. When Steven first suggested you to take this job, I thought he was mad. And there was a bet going on within Syco to see how long you’d last. I think the boys have a bet to see how long you’d last.” I smirked. It was something the boys would have done. “You shocked everybody’s system by sticking around for so long.”  
“I still don’t know how I did it; but I adapted… somehow.” I said.   
“You are hardly someone who’d back down a challenge.” He said.  
“But I still didn’t make it.” I said. “I am here to hand in my resignation.”  
“I don’t agree with you actually. You made it, that’s why you are handing in your notice.” He said. “Deity.”  
For someone who I hardly ever spent time with, Simon have seen through me and have a very in-depth understanding of me.  
“You talked to the boys… or did you get my OTHER letter…”  
“When I got your management proposal in the post that USED the internal Syco post...” I smiled sheepishly. “...along with many other management companies that ACTUALLY post their proposal via normal postal ways and emails, the boys begged and pleaded. They don’t want to be sign to anybody but you.”  
“The fact that whilst I was their ad interim management, I let them have free reign on their Twitter...” Simon nodded. “...and I let them do whatever they want - go out drinking, eat too much crap from KFC, sleeping in my sitting room and doing things that are not very celebrity-like.” He hasn’t stopped nodding. “I trusted that you have highlighted to them I am probably the most unreliable and unprofessional manager they could ever want and also completely inexperience for this job because I am a scientist by trade.”  
“But they wouldn’t have it any other way. Liam insisted that the five of them should also read through the proposals from the other companies, because they have been in this business long enough now to know what they want and what they don’t want. Zayn asked if you get a slightly upper hand because you have already worked with them for nearly 18 months. Louis and Harry just looked concern and insisted that it should be their choice of which management company One Direction should be signed to. Niall was about to go on a one-man mission. He named it ‘Operation working with the greatest ass of all time - sorry Louis’.” Simon looked slightly concerned with the name and looked as if he wanted me to offer him an explanation of the name. I smiled and shrugged. “Of course the moment he said it, the rest of them just jumped onto the mission. Then they named it ‘One Direction Mission’.”   
I smiled.  
Totally something what the boys would do.  
“I wouldn’t want it any other way either.” Simon said. I looked at him, slightly shocked. “I am not going to let my favourite boys live a life they are not happy with.” He pulled out a stash of paper from his desk. “This is the contract from Syco with Deity Management. I would like to sign a contact with you, as the boys’ management for the next five years.”  
“Five years. You’re giving me free reign to their lives for the next five years. What if they completely ruin their image as the best boyband of this millennium?”  
“The Backstreet Boys, which I am sure you are very familiar with…” I nodded. “They changed management at their highest and it worked out amazingly for them. They are still around for a reason. Besides, I think they don’t need you to do that because they have done enough already.”   
“What if I fail...?”  
“You are hardly someone who’d back down a challenge.” He repeated a line that he said to me earlier.  
“Do I get to keep the office here?” Simon smiled and nodded.  
I pulled out my pink Hello Kitty pen and signed my name on the first ever management contract for Deity Management.  
I didn’t even look at it.

When I walked out of Simon’s office, there were five innocent looking faces staring at me.  
“Quit it. I know you all heard what happened in there.” I said. They all grabbed me into a massive huddle like they do before the start of a show. “Horan. Hands. Off. My. Ass.”  
Niall planted a big fat kiss on my cheek.  
“You love it really.” Niall said.   
“You’re never gonna get rid of us.” Louis said.  
“You’re never gonna get rid of me.” I smiled.  
“We would never want to get rid of you.” Zayn said.  
“You’d say it now. Tell me exactly the same thing in about a years’ time.” I joked. “And boys?” They all looked at me. “There are plenty of stethoscopes in my office. Use THAT next time from the meeting room next door - it’s less obvious.” I whispered.  
“Alright boys... and girl.” Simon said, his head popping out of his office door. “Get back to work.”  
“Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it’s off to work we go...” Liam started singing.  
“With a bucket and spade and a hand grenade...” I joined in and we all laughed.  
I could see Simon’s head shaking as he sat at his desk, and a smile playing on his face.


	20. Epilogue

We were all at Louis and Harry’s new place.  
Somewhere still close to the other boys, but at an undisclosed location.   
The public still assumed they were at their old flat - but that is now somewhere reserved for their family to stay when they visit.   
We decided after an exciting year and a completely mad November, we would celebrate Christmas Eve quietly at Louis and Harry’s place, also a house warming party for the two of them.  
And Louis’ birthday too of course.  
After dinner, Harry insisted that I would go and choose a movie with Louis (not because I was the guest but because I was the only female in the house and it was Louis’ birthday), and the rest of them would go and clean up.  
In reality, I was given the task to keep Louis busy, whilst Niall picked up the cake from the kitchen (who decided it was a good idea for Niall to pick up the cake we never know) and the other three to pick up the birthday present that was hidden in games room (because Louis would have no suspected his birthday presents were hidden in the room that he spent the most of his time at).   
Louis probably knew I was his distraction.  
And for once, he behaved and did what he was told.  
After we got the DVD into the player and have it ready to play, I took the floor between the double and the triple couch and Louis took the double couch.  
Then the lights went out.  
“NO ONE PANIC!” Niall shouted, walking into the sitting room with the cake.  
Louis stood up and smiled and was saying “thank you” over and over.  
The boys sang “Happy birthday” in perfect harmony. I stood up and was ready to turn the lights on when Louis blew out the candle.   
Little did they know Harry and I have another plan.  
After the candles were out, we were in total darkness. There was some stumbling, and then I turned the lights on.  
Harry was kneeling in front of Louis, with a DeBeer’s box opened, a simple black gold band with a solitaire diamond.  
“Louis, I know you always wanted to be the one to propose.” Harry said, getting up and stood up in front of Louis. “But I just can’t resist this - it’s your birthday, it’s Christmas Eve and most of all, we have all the people that are important to us besides our family. I love you, and I want to be with you forever. When people propose they always say ‘would you do me the honour of becoming my better half’. I don’t want that, because I know you are the better half. I want to say, I would be honoured if I can be your lesser half.”   
Louis probably didn’t know he was crying until Zayn gave him some tissues. He was a mumbling mess and no one could actually make out what he was saying.  
“Lou, a ‘yes’ would be sufficient for me, because my heart is going at about 100 miles per hour and I don’t want to have either a panic attack or even worse, a heart attack. We all know we can trust Gaga with her life saving skills, but I don’t know if she can come up with the right story if I ended up in hospital tonight.”  
“Yes. Yes of course it’s yes!” Louis said and wrapped himself round Harry before he had a chance to put the ring on his finger. 

My name is Hyoga Zawada.  
I’m 30 years old.  
Today is December 24th, Christmas eve.  
Though it might be just a normal day for anybody else, another Christmas Eve, it’s very special to me.  
And to the five boys that I have spent 18 months taking care of.  
My Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam and Zayn.  
My little brothers.


End file.
